withdrawal and anxiety

greeneyes1 · 03-03-2008, 09:14 AM

I am fighting the battle to stop Vicodin and, even though the physical part hurts like hell, the anxiety that comes along with it is the hardest thing to deal with. Sometimes I feel like I could just jump out of my skin. It is what has caused me to relapse so many times. I keep saying that this time is the last time, but, as addicts, we always know how to kill the pain. Can someone offer any advice or suggestions as to how to deal with this horrible anxiety? I can't take off work, so I am trying to avoid situations where I may say or do something that would cause problems...It's very hard because I don't feel like myself...My co-workers wonder what is wrong...I'm not sure how long this will last...Each day seems like an eternity. I really want to do this, but when this anxiety sets in, it seems to take over every aspect of my mental and physical state. Can someone offer any advice? Thank you.

kelly1986 · 03-03-2008, 09:51 AM

hi greeneyes, i hope you are feeling better! are you taking Vicodin for pain that you still have? or just abusing and trying to stop? and are you stopping totally at once ? or have you tried to taper the amount slowly?? which could help lessen withdrawl symptoms...sorry for all the questions ..just trying to help..either way hang in there...you can get through it and will be better off after!! k

bajaboats · 03-03-2008, 10:22 AM

Hello greeneyes1,

I did a rapid taper off hydro and Oxy.
I too suffered a great deal with the anxiety and depression. Lots of crying!!
I went to my Doc and got his help. Maybe you have a Doc that would be supportive?

My Med Doc perscribed a couple of anti-anxiety meds for me but in very small quantities and no refills. I had to be in his office weekly so he could monitor my progress and at that time he would decide on what meds I needed.

He gave me Librium (10 mgs 3 times per day) and also gave me .25mgs tabs of xanax (only enough for a week at a time and directions to take no more than 3 per day only if needed)

Both of these meds are Benzos and are highly addictive also. He didn't want me tradin one problem for another. I rarely take the xanax sometimes I will take one at night when I feel wound up and get those racing thoughts that I know will hurt my sleeping. I do take the Librium as directed and also I eat 3 times a day. I don't eat big meals but good healthy small meals.

My last visit to my Psychologist he reccomended my going on a med called Lamictal? Not sure of the spelling so I started that on Thursday or Firday. It is supose to mello me out. I suffer from Hypermainia (The Doc says) I operate way to fast and don't sleep much. I put unrealistic work demands upon myself and then have trouble when I can't maintain. Then sometimes I crash for a couple of days. Then back right up to top speed again. I guess it is a mild form of Bi-Polar he says?

I think the first two meds have helped me as I am on day 27 today clean and I have no real bad anxiety or depression. Sure life is full of anxiety and depressing things but I feel like I am dealing with things on my own without hiding behind the pillz.

If you have a Doc that will help that would be a great place to start. Just make sure you don't trade one habbit for another. My Doc was real careful about that and still watches me real close.

Excessive Anxiety and depression is a normal part of recovery and it will pass. Your body wants more of the dope and it trying to trick you into thinking you do but you don't need it. It is a tuff battle to go one on one with yourself. It gets sooo much better sooner than you think. Just "keep on keepin on" like Yoss Says.

Hope I helped.

As Always,
Peace.
Baja

greeneyes1 · 03-04-2008, 09:42 AM

Thanks for the responses. I started out taking Vicodin for pain, but eventually I was taking it whether I was hurting or not because I liked the way it made me feel. At one point in time I was taking as many as 16 7.5mg pills a day. I'm tapering off and am at 2 a day right now. I feel the wd's at this low dose and dread the end of this week because I will be out. I've been through wd's before, and honestly, I feel almost suicidal at times. The depression and anxiety are what keep me from breaking free of this drug. I hate it and love it at the same time. I've lied and even stolen just to get it. I can barely look in the mirror anymore. The fact that I'm more determined this time has made me feel a little better about myself, but I'm still not there yet. I had it in the back of my mind that Ultram would help me get off Vicodin, but after reading the things I've read about it, I now realize that this is not an option. I'm afraid of what life will be without the Vicodin and afriad of what life will become if I stay on it. I feel like I've forgotten how to live without it. I know everyone says that being clean and sober gets better and easier in time, so I'm just praying that I can tough it out. I just want to feel normal again. I've gotten a few things together that I've read about on the detox post, and Friday will be my first day with no pills. I'm off this weekend, so I'm hoping by Monday, I'll be able to get myself to work. If I'm sick, which I'm sure I will be, I'll just say I have a bug. Thanks again, my friends, for responding to all my posts. No one but you guys knows what I have done and what I am attempting to do. I appreciate your knowledge and support more than you could know.

bajaboats · 03-04-2008, 10:02 AM

Hey greeneyes1,

I myself took time off work. I was hurtin'
Days 3-4 were the worst for me but everyone is different. I also was on Hydro (vicoden) then ended up on Oxy. Upwards of 120mgs per day.

I did a real rapid taper and today I am pround to say I have been clean 28 days.

You know the W/D's are no fun but if you know what your up against it should be easier for you.

I no longer pop out of bed and run for the pillz just to get thru the day. I am thinking clear now and my anxiety and depression are very low, Managable with what God gave me in myself.

I mentioned the anti-anxiety meds the Doc have given me and I can't tell you if it helped because I never went thru W/D's before. I do still eat three times a day and healthy plus I am taking my suppliments with every meal.

I know you might think 28 days is sooo far away right now but it really isn't once you get there. I feel excellent and I'm Clean and sober too... Makes me proud of myself and we all need that right now on this journey.

I may have said this to you before but here it is again, a dear friend of mine told me this while I was balling my eyes out telling him I felt like I was stuck in hell.

"There is a road into hell and there is also a road out."

You have found the road out so don't stop for a break and no "U" turns either. Just buckle up, dig deep and hold on. Many here on this board have done it and so can you.

I was still using when I started posting on this board so if you haven't already maybe read some of my posts. You will see what I went thru on MY road out.

You will be in my prayers, Like Yoss says "Just keep on keepin' on. It is a good one.

As Always,
Peace.
Baja