Ugh, doctors!
Yes, I know the pain of crappy doctors and mental health 'professionals.' All I can say is see it through and don't let them force you to accept a diagnosis that doesn't logically fit; you know your son's symptoms, if the diagnosis doesn't account for them or has a lot more symptoms that he doesn't exhibit,
it's the wrong diagnosis!
From here, be warned, I tend to ramble, but I feel you might find some relevance, so bear with me:
Keep fighting for your son. Demand the right diagnosis. Do
NOT be afraid to seek a second opinion.
To know what I've been through at the hands of uncaring or incompetent doctors and psych professionals, feel free to browse my previous posts, I've poured out my heart here and found a lot of help and support. In a nutshell though, upon seeking a diagnosis of ADD at 35, I eventually managed to be tested and diagnosed as maybe. Maybe I have the inattentive subset of ADD, maybe I have Dysthymic Disorder (chronic depression) and maybe I have Borderline Personality Disorder.
Without boring you with 15 pages of life history, let's just say that I do not have Borderline Personality Disorder. Anyone who knows me at all can tell you that I don't fit those symptoms. I am depressed. I'm depressed because of the sheer disaster that I and my ADD brain have made of the 35 years I've been given so far. I have a very negative self image, again because of who and what I've become. The problem is, my life isn't a disaster because I'm depressed, I'm depressed because my life is a disaster. Thus, treating me for depression is pointless, because treating the symptoms does little good if you don't treat the cause.
So, I got my 'maybe' diagnoses and accepted them because: "well, they're the professionals, they must know better." They didn't. I was started on an SSRI (Celexa) for depression and the result was somewhat opposite of what was intended; I nearly died. The SSRI sent me into a depression the likes of which I've never experienced. I spent entire days in bed, I stopped leaving the house while on this medication, because I couldn't face the outside world. I dropped out of University and nearly lost my job because I wasn't attending. I planned my suicide, and left instructions as to how to deal with my corpse (which was 'donate me to science or leave me in a ditch, so long as I don't cost anyone any money,' just to give you an insight into my frame of mind at the time). I credit my fiancee with saving my life by convincing me that I wasn't myself and to quit the SSRI. It took me five weeks to feel normal again, but I can honestly say that I've now experienced real depression, all thanks to a faulty diagnosis.
In the seven months since I first sought my diagnosis, I've been seen or evaluated by two Psychiatrists and two Psychologists in addition to working regularly with my General Practitioner. I have also had a Psychiatrist refuse to see me. I have had no luck getting a firmer diagnosis because no one seems willing to take the time to listen to what I have to say about my condition (with the exception of my GP). I've had a Psychiatrist, after hearing I was seriously contemplating suicide, tell me he's too busy to see me and to come back next week. I've had a Psychiatrist (a different one) tell me that I don't have the tools to function at a higher level in society, so it's important to take my anti-depressants and try to be happy with my lot in life.
I tell you all this not to complain, but to warn you that there are apathetic doctors out there. A lot of them don't know ADD well and will look for another diagnosis. Remember, they're human and will bring their own pet causes and prejudices to work with them.
In the case of your son's symptoms, it does look like ADD to me, because I suffer a lot of the same problems. I suffer from inattentive ADD and do not show signs of hyperactivity. The sleep (which may be lack of quality sleep or may be a symptom of the depression that he's suffering now as a result of his ADD), the confusion, the focus problems, the apathy. I took refuge in apathy early in my teens and have used it to deal with my ADD for a long time. Refusing to invest myself in anything enough for it really to hurt when I invariably fail has helped me keep some small semblance of self respect over the years. You'll also probably notice that he's extremely bright when something captures his attention and that he has problems getting motivated to do everyday things, like do his homework or take out the garbage. These things that are often attributed to laziness are real symptoms of ADD (and improve with treatment of ADD).
As far as how they'll test for ADD, a good ADD test will include memory tests and an IQ test, looking for a large disparity between his verbal and performance test scores, specifically relating to processing speed (as an example, my verbal IQ is 121 while my performance IQ is 90 with a processing speed of 84). A good test for ADD should include test of focus, mine was tapping a key on a keyboard in response to seeing letters appearing on a computer monitor, tapping the key for some letters, but not for others. They will also want as much information as possible about his history, as ADD is something that shows early in life, it does not develop when someone is older unless there is brain damage (such as head trauma).
The moral of all this is don't blindly trust the doctors. They are professionals, but they're also human. Some really seem to care, others not so much. Think critically about any diagnosis you receive and demand answers for symptoms that don't fit. Monitor your son closely on any medication that he is prescribed, because side effects can be dangerous.
Above all,
you are an excellent mom! You care enough to see that your son is happy and healthy, who could ask more than that? No one expects you to have all the answers, just keep fighting for your son. There are a heck of a lot of kids out there whose moms don't fight for them, you're on the right track and you're doing great.
P.S. There you go Bob. You called down the thunder, so there it is!
Inattentive disorder
Linear Mode
