suspect husband has herpes....

[Sky1998]

My husband and I have been together for almost 5 years. To this point, he has never had anything like this happen. Last Thurs he started breaking out on the upper portion of his behind, towards the top of the crack. We didn't have a clue what it could be so I put some of my son's diaper rash ointment on it. They looked worse day by day and turned into big blisters that have since popped. One of the blisters that is outside of the crack is scabbing, but the others located within the crack look so bad. He is in so much pain.

I researched the internet and it sounds so much like herpes. We've stopped putting the ointment on it. I have made him an appt tomorrow, although he doesn't know yet and won't be too thrilled. He is embarrased about it. I told him there is nothing to be embarrased about, it needs to be seen.

Can herpes be in your system over 5 years and not show? Is there anything you can put on it or is there anything you can take for pain? I've suggested to him sleeping tonight w/o shorts on to let it get air, would that help? He is so miserable and I want to help him so much.

Thanks!

[Sky1998]

Well, I need to add this. Our last sexual contact was last Thursday, and he was broke out then but didn't tell me. Now today my anus is so itchy (BTW we don't to anus sex), feels like I haven't wiped good and I keep wiping and wiping, and it's itchy/burning. Please PLEASE tell me this is not how it starts!

[TheOneInFour]

Hello Sky,

Sorry to hear you two are going through this, regardless of what it turns out to be. Yes, it is possible for someone to carry herpes in their system for years without getting symptoms...or without getting symptoms that you connect with herpes. Other symptoms include flu-like symptoms that don't develop into a flu, itching and/or tingling at a particular place in the genital/pelvic area, etc.

The top of the buttocks is a somewhat common place for outbreaks. I've had them there for years. It's not necessarily the place you got it initially, but it can spread to that area through the nervous system. I find the sores will ooze onto/through my clothes, so I usually put a sanitary pad or pantyliner there, attached to my panties. This helps keep the sore dry too. Your husband might not be very comfortable with using a feminine product though, so a bandage taped to his underwear might be helpful. Tylenol and/or applied heat or ice to the area might help the pain.

Your title says "suspect husband," which sounds like you're questioning if he might have picked up herpes in an extramarital affair. It's an understandable concern and might be the case, but not necessarily. For that matter, it's about as likely for you to have carried herpes for years without symptoms and for him to have caught it from you. About one in four people has genital herpes and most of them don't know it, but they can still pass it on.

I'm not a health professional, but I'd strongly recommend that you both get blood tests now. Be sure your doc uses a test that distinguishes between types 1 and 2. If you both come back negative for HSV-2 (the usual cause of genital herpes), get tested again in about 4 months. If one of you tests negative now but positive after 4 months, then you know that they contracted it very recently. If one of you tests positive for HSV-2 now, then it's probably been in their system for at least 4 months.

Don't be surprised if either you tests positive for HSV-1, since this is the usual cause of cold sores. Up to 80% of the population has HSV-1, caught during childhood from contact with relatives and friends. It's possible that your husband's sores are caused by HSV-1, typically transmitted to the genital area through oral sex around the time when the giver has an active cold sore.

You're also wondering if your anal itching could be the same thing. Yes, it's possible, even without anal sex. I'd strongly suggest you get yourself checked out ASAP too. Get the doc to look at it and take a swab culture. Just be aware that culture tests often return false negative results. If the symtpoms come up again (for either of you), get a swab test immediately (within first 24 hours) for best chances for accurate results.

Good luck! Sorry this is so long but I hope it helps. Let us know how you make out.

TheOneInFour

[waitingon#3]

I know how you feel. I had a outbreak the first time when I was preg. my husband(now ex) and I had already been together about a year and when I had the outbreak I thought something was wrong but never what the doctors would tell me it was. My husband had never had an outbreak so he assumed that I had caught it elsewhere. He was the only man I had been with ( I was 18 at the time) So I knew I had caught it from him. Well It prompted me to do lots of research on it and discovered you can be a carrier of this and NEVER have affects from it or they can pop up 1,5,10 years later after contracting it. So lucky me he was the first and only man I was with while I was with him. He sleept around with many women before me. He carries it for how long? before me and I get it and months later I am suffering from it. To this day he has never had an outbreak that he can recall and still says he doubts he has it (ha). You are contagous a week before you have an outbreak and sometimes the outbreak might be one little sore that you may not notice. So I would get tested to know also because I is very likely that you could have it women even contract it easier than men too. Hope this helps you.

[Colin C]

Could be shingles...from the virus that causes Chicken Pox (also in the herpes family)