addicted to Percocet Somebody please help me.

lisa731 · 07-01-2008, 05:13 AM

I am addicted to Percocet and Hydrocodone really bad...

edited

I don't know what to do. I have everything to live for...2 wonderful children, each with a new baby girl...I am a grandma twice in the last year. I am so sick and I don't want to die but I don't know where to turn.

Everytime I go to my doctor I want to tell him so bad but I just can't bring myself to tell him. I can't imagine my life without my pain medicine. My doctor gave me 150 Percocets June 26th and I counted them today, June 30th, and I have 50 left. I do at least 300 pills a month...what am I going to do. I can't type anymore...the tears are streaming down my face. Somebody please help me.

mariecan · 07-01-2008, 07:44 AM

Lisa,

You are not alone. Many of us have been where you are now. Please know you can get off the drugs. You are on alot of pain meds. Please have an honest talk with your doctor TODAY. I will keep you in my prayers.
Mariecan

jerry111165a · 07-01-2008, 09:06 AM

Lisa, good morning.

You are definetly not alone here. There are many of us here who have been through the same thing you are going thru right now.
You have come to a good place to get information and support.
Start reading posts here. get some good informative info from others here.
I know you're scared, but it might be a great idea to talk to your doctor about this. Sometimes, to let things like this out can be a great weight lifted from your shoulders.

Keep posting.

jerry.

emsmom · 07-01-2008, 10:26 AM

Good morning Lisa,

You are not alone here

There are alot of people in your position, or have been in your position before, so you'll get alot of help here.

You can do this! Have a chat with your doctor, don't be afraid, mosts doctors are aware of the problems with addiction.

I got a tear in my eye when I read that the tears were streaming down your face

I was once in that exact position. I knew what I was doing, and I knew it had to stop but I didn't want to tell my doctor cause that meant I'd eventually have to taper down and discontinue the one thing that I really enjoyed doing. Well, I thought I enjoyed it - it ruined my life. I started out with percocet, just like you. When I hit rock bottom, I was taking 10 Oxycontin 80's per day! Thats 800mg of oxycodone IN ONE DAY. One percocet has 5mg, so if you do the math, I was taking the equivalent of 160 percocets a day.

I'm not saying you'll turn out like me. I'm just trying to show you how quickly it get out of hand. From the time I got my first script of 30 percocets, to the time I was taking 800mg, it had only been about 12 months.

Lisa, you can do this. You don't want to get any worse, do you? Take control now, talk to your doctor and figure out a way for you to taper down.

If you need advice, suggestions, encouragement...then you've come to the right place

There are some really wonderful people on this board, people who will stand behind you and guide you through your journey to recovery.

With love and support,
emsmom (K)

lisa731 · 07-01-2008, 08:24 PM

Here I sit.....crying so hard.....with my hands over my face.....rocking back and forth.....tears dripping off my chin and reading your words of encouragement, caring and support...written to me...a person you don't even know.
I don't know what to say to you all, emsmom, jerry, and mariecan...I am at a real loss for words. <crying hard>

For the first time, in my addiction, I don't feel alone anymore. I don't feel like I carry this sick secret all by myself. You have made me feel like, for the first time, I can tell and share my secret...my hell... and my hatred for it.
I hate those pills.....they are killing me and I hate myself for not having control of them.....they have the control and I hate them. <crying>

To emsmom, jerry, and mariecan, I can hardly express to you how your caring words and support for me has made me feel inside. I have a feeling of hope. I have a feeling of other people, truly, caring about another human being.....me. <tears flowing>
I, honestly, beleived that I was the only person, in the world, that would ever take as many pills, as I do, at one time. It is a miracle that I sit in front of my computer.

I want you all to know how very greatful I am to have found you.
I beleive "you" is what I need and thank you for your warm and caring welcome to your board.

I want to share how I am feeling, with you, before I go.
I logged on to HealthBoards early this morning, for the first time, with no visible light at the end of the tunnel.
Today...I have hope. I can cry and I can share.

After crying all these tears and sharing my secret addiction with you, and I am not real sure why but it really does not matter, I feel so much better.