My sister's behavior

shari1359 · 01-22-2003, 02:29 PM

I'm very worried about my 25 YO sister and her behavior. I've noticed bizare/abnormal behavior in the past, but it is getting worse as she gets older.

She started stealing at the age of 8. She has stolen from stores, friends and family.

She babysat once for me years ago and her idea of doing this was locking the kids in their rooms for the day.

She purposefully locked her cat in the basement until it died. She starved her pet turtle to death.

If someone appears to have wronged her in any way, she will go out of her way to be sure this person is "punished". If she is working with someone she doesn't like, even if there is no reason, she will bully them until they quit, She will even stage elaborate schemes to get them fired.

She makes "hate lists". She targets one person, whether it be an acquaintence or someone she works with, and write lists about how awful this person is. Example: There was a coworker at her last job she hated. She made an extensive list of every single time this person was late to work, what things she did wrong during her shift, etc. She typed all of this up when she quit this job and sent it to management.

She has made remarks in the past six months about HATING people in general. She says all people are idiots and know nothing. She has only one friend. She has never had a boyfriend. She says she will never get married and never have children because "they are stupid".

I have tried telling her she needs counseling and perhaps some medication or dietary changes, but she refuses. I don't know what else to do here. My conversations with her and becoming increasingly frightening to me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

franjo · 01-23-2003, 03:05 AM

I agree with your concern. Sounds like alot of anger going on, but even angry people generally don't lock up their cats until they die. Your sister needs to seek out some help, but she doesn't sound like the type who would take that advice easily.

My sister is bi-polar with some other personality disorders. She is also a recovering addict. In our case, there came a point where I had to remove myself from the situation because she would not get help. We had tried everything we knew how to get her to see that she needed a psyche eval. There always seemed to be a chaos surrounding everything she did. She seemed to thrive on it. And if things got too calm, she'd create her own mini tornadoes. She finally did seek help, but only after we stepped back and let her find the bottom.

I understand the feeling of wanting to MAKE someone you love get help. Wouldn't it be nice if it really worked that way? Does anyone else in your family share your concerns? It may take everyone in the family to get involved in trying to get her to seek some help. But the truth is, she has to decide that that is what SHE wants to do before any real benefits can be had.

I'm very disturbed about the cat thing. And I don't even care too much for cats anyway. But that incident in itself is a BIG red flag. Are you the only one who knows about this?

-franjo

franjo · 01-23-2003, 03:23 AM

One more thing...I've just come back from the Personality Disorder board and found some posts that sound alot like the description of your sister as far as the hate she expresses. Crowsun is the topic starter, titled "Borderline Personality Disorder".

-franjo

Autumn Angel · 01-23-2003, 12:13 PM

Seems there is alot of hate and anger there she wants to make all beings suffer. People and animals she could have went to jail for the cat and the turtle thats just plain inhumane.
She needs help before she seriously hurts a person. Its not only her safety at stake here but the safety of those she comes in contact with.

Jennita · 01-23-2003, 05:10 PM

Wow. She has issues big time. She does seem to not be right mentally. Did she ever take any amphetamines or other types of drugs in her life that you know of? Maybe she had some experiences of trauma or drugs that lead to this detachment of feelings for others and loss of respect for life(the animals)? Whatever, she needs help or she will do something horrible one day. Somebody forgot to teach her about boundries. Her actions will cause her to end up in jail or somebody might come along who will not take what she is dishing and decide to maybe harm her....in any case this is a dangerous way to live.