I need advice really bad!

[Tricia]

I have a very embarrassing phobia. I am afraid of seatbelts, and haven't worn one in over two years! I haven't even learned to drive yet because of them! I told about three people (not face to face either) and two out of three of them don't think I'm crazy, but urged me to get professional help! I am feeling so stupid over this phobia, I can't tell anyone to their face!

When I have to wear them, my heart pounds, and I end up shaking after I take it off. I don't know how people don't notice this afterwards! I guess I'm good at hiding my feelings. Once, after being forced to wear them, I was with my friend, and I was acting very hyper. Maybe my fear got my adrenline going?

I never told ANYONE face to face especially my family (they all use them!) I also sit in the back seat, and refuse to have anyone give me a ride somewhere because I'm scared they will force me to wear one. It's definitely interfereing with my life. Once I thought I was going to be forced to wear one all the time even in the back seat, and I was in tears (not in front of anyone!) and I know they are supposed to save lives, but I really have a problem with them. I can't bring myself to get over my fear!

I guess I will have to continue suffering because I can't bear telling a counselor either how I feel. Not directly to their faces, especially. I don't know why that is a problem.

In all the time I've been afraid of them, I haven't gotten into an accident, so that is NOT the cause of my fear! I DON'T KNOW what the cause is!

Does anyone have any advice? Like how to lessen my fear, maybe? I HAVE TO learn to drive, and this is the only thing that is stopping me! This phobia has existed for as long as I can remember! (I'm in my early 30's now)

This took a lot of courage to share. As I'm typing this, I'm feeling very anxious and embarrassed. My hands are actually COLD!!! I don't know how they haven't guessed my fear. They always ask why I never sit up front and I give them a vague answer. And fortunately, they don't push me any further than that.

[Cherokee_Fox]

I have a friend who has a problem like yours. Not as bad, though. Her problem started when two people she knew were in a wreck and drowned because they couldn't get their seatbelts off. But the odds of a seatbelt saving you are better than one killing you. Maybe when you were young you heard some horror story about seatbelts. Try going out and sitting in the car while it's just parked, and work yourself up to putting on the seatbelt. Keep at it until you can just sit there with it on. If you you can learn to control your fear, then you can get rid of your fear. This type of thinking helped me get over my fear of spiders. I hope this helps you. Cherokee_Fox

[blahblahblah]

Tricia,
Don't feel bad at all.. Lots of people have fears about different things, probably things you'd think were silly. But there is a reason why you have this fear even if you don't know it. Anyways The best thing to do is like that last person said ,go in a parked car, and play with the seat belt. Try putting it on and getting use to it. Eventually your fear will be less, and probably a lot more tolerable. Seat belts are extremely important, also its the law and you'll get tickets, not to mention when you get your license they make you put it on.
Also I had a friend fly out the window because he didn't have his seat belt on, so if you can't get over the fear alone, you really should get help. Don't even feel embarrassed about what bothers you. I have heard of a LOT of worse things than that. Good luck.

[barris]

Tricia,

If you have trouble talking to people face to face (like I do), write down your feelings and give the piece of paper to your counselor. That way you can think of what to say and kind of "force" the subject. There are some things I have trouble talking to my counselor about, so I write them down, and bob my head up and down to answer questions. I never have to go into detail (verbally)... because its already written out.

Hope this helps hon,
Hugs,
Elijah

[This message has been edited by Elijah (edited 05-21-2001).]

[Tricia]

Thanks for your advice and understanding. I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell anyone face to face, or write it down, but if I tell it to someone face to face, they would have to know and understand sign langauge!!! (that's what I do for a living)Because just HEARING it come out of my mouth would make me cringe! That's how stupid I feel over this! The only way I WOULD tell someone face to face (without using Sign) is if they happen to have the same fear and admit it to me first! Then I wouldn't have a problem telling them! I once heard a woman in a restuarant at a table next to me admit she had this fear, and I wanted to eavesdrop but I couldn't do it without being obvious! LOL I wanted to go up to her and tell her I felt the same way, but I didn't.

[This message has been edited by Tricia (edited 05-22-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Tricia (edited 05-22-2001).]