new to msg brd and ADD

[ADDavid]

Hi anyone and everyone,
(I have resubmitted this to the new msg board, after I realized that the ohter msg board is old now. I am very much looking forward to meeting and talking with some of you online. I have many questions. )
I have been reading over some of the msgs on this board, and, am very glad to have found it. I was diagnosed with ADD 2 months ago. I am 32, and this whole experience has been the most enlightening, profound, answer to just about all the questions I've ever had about myself why I am a screw-up. One of the major questions I have about what I am going through is, there seem to be stages (Adult ADD) in the diagnosis that I have been going through or am going through now. First, when I talked to a co-worker and friend about ADD, I was curious. Next, I read a book of his, and was convinced. At that time a whole world was opening up, but, I needed verification through a profesional. I was diagnosed, and BAM! A total realization why such a bright kid couldn't do anything with his life. (I am trying to keep this short). Next was the absorption of materials (which I am still in the beginning processes). I want to know everything about this. The step where I am now is, I have enough info in my head to do a lot of introspection. This has and is very painfull but, necessary. MY QUESTION IS-- What is next? I am too impatient to wait for the results. I know what I am experiencing is personal, as others experience things differently. But, I would like to hear anybody's story and their insights. I will be a regular member to this board, and wish all well. thank you, David

[Royalene]

Good Luck David

I am wondering how well you have been doing since school, did you graduate, what were your struggles? If you don't mind, this is very personal. I am very concerned for my son. Problems with following through, so unorganized. At least now you know why. I hope there is light at the end of the tunnel for him. What type of job do you have,may I ask?
Keep in touch,
Royalene

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[ADDavid]

Hi Royalene,
I could write a book on my struggles. I will try to answer all of your questions the best that I can. I barely finished high school. The classes I could keep interest in, ex. art, chemistry, creative writing, I would excel. But I couldn't keep focus on any of the other classes. I rarely got C's, mostly A's and F's. I had to repeat the 10th grade due to lack of attendance, I just didn't have the focus, structure or self esteem to even try. College was good in the beginnning due to the newness and challenge. It became the same monster until I started self medicating (unknowingly) with crystal meth. But, that just took me down even lower in the long run. I did 4 years of college with only about 1 1/2 years of credit to show for it. The classes I did pass though were always highly scored. I gave it up and joined the Navy, which turned out to be the structure I needed but resented. I did 8 1/2 years as an Electronics Technician and an Air Traffic Controller. I loved both jobs, because I figured out how to make guitar amp circuits and loved the adrenaline rush of controlling air craft. Pretty scary, huh? My struggle was always the daydreaming. I was very shy in school (in class settings, I would be very comfortable around the friends that I had). I was also very bored. I never had the hyperactivity that I can remember, but, my parents say I was a whirlwind when I was a young child. It was lost when the dreaming started. I couldn't build many friendships due to never being able to hold a conversation for a period of time. the list goes on and on.
One thing that not knowing about ADD at that age (and I hope that parents who read this get something from this part) was, my parents always wanted to talk and would have these "discussions" when I would be less than tolerable. Which was most of the time. My mind has so many things going through at once that it is extremely dificult to decipher one thought from the next. that led to terrible confusion and contempt when my parents wanted an answer right then. All I could ever seem to say was "I don't know". Every argument would have atleast 20 of those. So try and understand kids when they get backed up against a wall to give them a little breathing room to think. It may take a couple of days. Just remind them the problem still exists, but let them have time to think. I still have this problem with my wife. I still say alot of I don't know's.
Now, I work for a phone company and have a great job that is consistently different from week to week. It is what I need and helps to to keep my attention. I have always been clever enough to hide or otherwise fit in through the manipulation of myself or others, my ADD. I think this is why I made it this far with out knowing. It would have been longer if I hadn't had a friend that has it.
Good luck to you and your son Royalene, Iwill keep in touch. david

[PureCoal]

David,

Your post jarred me a bit. It's because you and I have a near identical story (minus the military). It was almost as if I were reading my own post. I'm 25 and was diagnosed with ADD about 1 1/2 months ago. I too am a very quiet person who was always bored (still am sometimes). I don't like to hold conversations because most of the time I'm really not interested in what the other person has to say or maybe it's takes too much effort focusing on what they're saying. Highschool started good and ended bad - came close to not graduating. College, same story different place. Never really graduated because I always seemed to muck something or other up - Actually it came down to writing one research paper to graduate. Until now, I never knew why I couldn't write that paper. Work, same story different place yet again, only this time it broke me down to a point were i knew something had to be wrong. From highschool on I remeber going in and out of depression. Yet, through all that it wasn't until now that I made the profound realization that I just might have ADD.

I am an electrical engineer. A few months ago I was assigned my 1st real design in 2 years - I finished it okay (still found some tangents along the way). But, when it came down to writing documentation for it I quickly realized I just COULD NOT do it. I found it oddly similar to experiences I had in school, no explaintion just didn't do it, couldn't do it and never knew why until now.

I don't exactly remeber how ADD came up, but something provoked me into driving to a bookstore during my lunch break. There it was - my personality (or what I thought was my personality) listed under an ADD diagnosis checklist. Thinking back it was obvious but I hid it all. No one knew what was going really going on with me because I was too ashamed to tell.

I should have known eariler because my 2 sisters were diagnosed well before I was. I just didn't pay attention... never asked them what it did to them or how it made them feel. Little did I know that they were living in the same contorted, dizzying, and frustrating world as myself. Oddly, I didn't know that it was contorted - then again why should I have, it's the only world I've ever known.

[ADDavid]

It's amazing how many of us have struggled with the same thing and never really knew about it or even discussed it. I thought that what I was going through (my thinking) was just so different, that no one would understand. Years ago I had given up all hope of knowing what was wrong with me, and decided to just live with the beast. It is so interesting to hear so many people say what a profound and enlightening experience this has been for them. Thanks purecoal for leaving the msg on the post. I feel better everyday that I get affirmation from other people that I am not alone nor crazy. I have been looking for a support group in the area without luck. It would be nice to talk to people face to face with the same problems, hearing the different yet very familiar stories of others. If anyone else does or has done such, leave feedback to let me know how it went or if it is even recommended. I bet a meeting with a bunch of disorganized people like myself could be interesting at the very least. David