sorry guts this is long but i really need to know whats happeneing to me.
Hi there, i am a 21 year old single mum of a 3 yr old daughter, i am single because i gt rid of her dad as he was an abusive druggy, he used to spike me with extasy and all sorts, that was 3 years ago when he spiked me when i was pregnant so i left and now live on my own and have been ever since.
I was being treated for mild depression in 2000 1 year after my daughter was born i was taking 35 mg of effexor, i was good on it, i was going out clubbing with my freinds, living good meeting the odd man, having a great time, then when my dose of effexor was upped thats when i started to feel weird, it all started when i was at a night club one night, i came over all funny thought it was because i was smoking alot of grass with my freinds, i just wanted to go home, i thought i was spiked again, i felt like this for ages, i had to go stay with my parents for a while then went to the doctors and the doc said that i had anxiety and to stop the effexor, (i didnt take it anymore after that anxiety attack)so that was that, he told me to just ignore it, it will go away, it will only stay if i let it.
Anyway i was getting on with it, i stopped going to nightclubs and stopped hanging with my freinds, i just kept to myself, just enjoyed life with my daughter.
Decmber (boxingnight) i had my first ever panick attack, and worst ever migrane i thought i wss dying, i had to phone my mum to come sit with me at 4 am in the morning, i was trembling, shaking, hot, cold, didnt w ant her speaking to me, it was like i was in labour (like shut up). The following day i rang the doctor and she gave me 2mg valuim, i was taking it and was feeling calm etc, then one night it just didnt work on my panick, i then was social phobic, couldnt go anywhere, didnt want anyone in my home even my own mum.
Then in february i was given 10mg cipramil (celexa) it blocked my panick attacks right away, and made me better i thought anyway, but i couldnt make decisions on anything, and he also refered me to a phsycologist, i was still getting these weird feelings in my head, but i was relaxed about it, anyway i missed a few doses and when i took it again i had the worst ever panick attack and migrane ever, i was rushed into hospital and ordered an mri, it came back normal and that was that, my doctor didnt give me nothing else told me to fight or flight it, and said its all anxiety.
Recently i just moved house 5 weeks ago and thought this was going to be it now, i am starting fresh got away from all my debts and i live so close to all my family, got the shops practicly on my door step etc, but i am worse now for some reason, why?
For the past 5 weeks since i moved in, i have been feeling like i am drunk, foggy head, blocked head, depressed, cant think straight, and cant cook, or nothing i just dont feel like doing anything, thee phsycologist has signe me off saying that theres nothing else she can do for me, (all she done was teach me how to relax,) my daughter just started school and i find it hard to go pick her up etc, with all those people there, i got my family there telling me to snap out of it.
My head feels so foggy, cant thing straight, dont know what i am doing, afraid i am going to wonder off, cant control myself, head feels all blocked, i feel drunk, head tingling all down one side, ear feels blocked, i just feel al dazed, paranoid etc.. docotr wont even do a medical examination on me to rule anything out, he said o well you have had an mri and that was fine (march that was) so i took myself up to the a and e and the doc there just said to go back to my doctor, but i dont want to because i feel he thinks i am a hyprecondriac, i have seen 2 there and they both say its anxiety, any way when i left the a and e crying i ran over to the phsycologist and was crying my eyes out, there was another lady there one that i didnt know mine wasnt there, and she gave me an appointment there and then to go see her (8th oct) to check my mental health see whats going on, help me with my memory etc, and she said that she will get the phsyciatrist to send me an appointment soon.
Someone please tell me whats happening.
foggy head, blocked head, (feels like blocked sinusues but they aint), cant concentrate, dont care what i look like, feels like everything i do is a waste of time, when i do go out for a walk feels as if i am going to just wonder off, i dont feel alert, i am afraid that i am going to black out and do something awfull, harm someone etc, tingley down one side of my head, feels drunk.
please i am going mad here not noing anything, i was ok 5 weeks ago not this bad at all, atleast then i didnt have this awfull heavy head.
I am so alone i am so depressed, i really need a cuddle and for someone to hold me, but i am afraid. i cant see myself with anybody, and what with this thing about the world supposing to end.... o my..
Thankyou in advance xxxxxxxx
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donna
O whats the hell is happening to me
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