I think I may have this..

[bloodytears]

I'm just afraid to talk to my therapist and psychiatrist about it.. I'm not sure how to, and I don't want anyone to find out about it.. I am a very private person for the most part, and i keep my problems to myself.. But I really feel that I have PTSD... That among other things.. Is there signs or something to know that I do?

[firefly]

Hey,
I am a private person as well-I hate to tell people my feelings if they are anything other than happy, its not me. If you are wondering if you may have PTSD, there are some websites that have info. about symptoms and all that. Everyone reacts to traumatic situations differently, but if you have had recurring nightmares or "flashbacks" of what happened to you for a pretty long time, then you might have PTSD. Good luck and if you ever need someone to talk to, you can leave a message for me here okay?! Best of luck!

[bloodytears]

Thanks Firefly,
I'm glad someone finally replied to my message.. Well, I really have been having nightmares and flashbacks about a traumatice experience I went through when I was younger, So I think I very well may have PTSD... But, I'm going to look it up online and see about getting more info. Then, maybe I'll know how to talk to my doctors about it... Do you have PTSD? Well, thanks again for replying.. Talk to you later..

[firefly]

Hey again Bloodytears!
You're welcome! To answer your question, I think I do have PTSD. A couple years ago at a job, it was my first night working there, and I was all alone. There was no lock on the door or a phone at all. Something didn't feel right. Well that night 2 guys came up when no one else was around and harassed me (sexually). Then while one was doing that, the other one came around to the open, unlocked door and kept trying to inappropriatly touch me. He did twice, and finally I yelled no to him and kicked him. They finally took off for some reason, and I know they easily would've raped me. I never cry, and that was one time I really cried out of fear. It really scared me and I still have a hard time with it (among other things), and still have "flashbacks" of it-it really affects me. So there's what happened to me. I have also self-harmed a couple times (nothing major), but haven't for a while and things are starting to look up. I wish the same for you! Please know that you can always confide in me about what happened to you-I don't judge. I have been through a lot so far in my life, so I can help somewhat! Hope to hear back soon from you! Good luck.

[bloodytears]

Well, I'm sorry that happened to you. My flashbacks are from way back when I was young. Well, that wasn't too long ago.. I guess It was about 11 years ago that it happened to me.. Well, at least began to happen. There were 3 very influential people in my life at the time, and all three of them hurt me. The hardest part is that they all said they loved me right before they hurt me. And now, I can't tell others I love them. And when people say they love me, i feel suddenly afraid and awkward and like I need to leave them.. Or go away from them. Every night when I go to sleep, I see everything played out over and over again in my head until I eventually fall asleep. Most nights it only takes an hour to fall asleep.. But some can take up to 4... I have come to the point that in order to deal with my hardships, I feel I have no better way then to hurt myself. That way I let some of the pain out without having to talk to anyone and pull them into my sorrows.. I don't cry. I have never been one to cry.. I was raised being told not to cry, and then, when I grew up, I kinda held onto it. But even if i want to cry, I can't. I've tried many times, but it's like I hurt too much to cry anymore... I dont know.. I have much more I could say.. But I don't want to make this too long.. So, I'll post more later..