childhood trauma

[couger2347]

I would like to know if trauma in and of itself could cause life long difficulties in handling everyday stress. At age 12 I was sent to a local pool to watch my 4 year old brother. The pool was very crowded and I lost track of my brother since I was distracted by my 12 year old friends at the time. Next thing I knew my brother was being taken out of the pool and all hell broke out. I looked at him at the time and he was the color blue and was unconcious. People were screaming and crying and I started to think he was dead. They rushed him to the hospital and worked to revive him. I waited back at the house and preyed and preyed. The time he was pulled from the pool to many hours later I remember how scared I felt. The good thing that God answered my prayers by sparing his life. I had allways taken responsilbilty for taking care of my siblings but my parents never knew how nervous I was that something wrong could happen again. I became very vigilant and nervous as to what terrible things could happen that I worried from that day on. People use to ask me why my hands were shaking but I could'nt explain. From shaking much of the time I finally started having panic attacks. This feeling seems to be with me for many years but most people don't have the slightest idea how traumas can be stored for many years. Any insights would be appreciated.

[Msjes]

Regardless of the cause of your difficulties, perhaps you could be helped by therapy and/or medication. As for whether the incident you related is the cause of the problem, I guess it could be. You mentioned that you had been distracted by your friends, so you probably blamed yourself for what happened and harbored guilt feelings thereafter. In addition to fearing that your brother would die, you may have feared how this would affect your parents and their feelings for you. Also, you mentioned having had the responsibility of taking care of your siblings. Might this have been a burden on you and resulted in some resentment or similar negative feelings which made you feel all the more guilty for having been distracted? Did family relationships/dynamics change after the incident - did your parents hold you responsible and did they treat you differently? I'm only raising these matters to suggest that there is much more to the near drowing event than the fact that it happened. To assess its significance in your subsequent emotional situation probably requires a look at the broader picture. I think anyone other than a psychiatrist or other competent mental health professional would just be guessing in offering an opinion as to what has caused your difficulties, which now apparently are manifested by panic attacks. Please consider professional attention and good luck in overcoming the problem.

[soccrgurl6]

not to be mean or n e thing, but it was ur fault that he almost died. but u shouldnt kill urself over it. hes ok now.

[Jacklyn]

I don't think it was his fault at all that his brother almost died. First of all, parents have children, then they expect the older siblings to take care of them. So if anyone is to blame, it is the parents for not taking responsibility. Second of all, they were at a public pool which should have lifeguards. So their job is to watch for things like that. And last of all, accidents DO happen so please don't blame yourself.

[stayinonbriteside]

ooohhhh soccergirl
that is a terrible thing to say to someone in this situation. i know that everyone has the right to their opion but please think before posting. that could really cause someone much more stress than they need.
my opinion is that twelve is too young to watch a 4 year old at a public pool. the parents are at fault here and should never had put this kind of burden on their 12 year old!!!
at the age of twelve anything is much more interesting than watching a 4 year old sibling. this i know from experience
please this was not your fault and i am so sorry you have to go through the rest of your life with this guilt, but try to realize you were just a child at the time

hope all is well with you
andrea :wink: