Hi,
Never been diagnosed with ADD (where I grew up they mainly just diagnose ADHD but not ADD, unless you have strong psychological problems, are disruptive or do very bad in school they don't really do any testing for such things) but I can pretty much identify with most of the symptoms (minus hyperactivity).
There's something that's always bugged me & that's making me feel like I'm doing my job badly (programming, I pretty much do as I feel and have several little internal projects that I can jump between) and makes me feel lazy and guilty.
It's as if I *had* to have something that's distracting me whenever I'm supposed to be concentrating on something - when I had to revise for exams in school I ALWAYS had to have the TV on I HAD to have something to listen to while revising, something that'd distract part of my brain otherwise I just could NOT concentrate AT ALL. It used to drive my Mom nuts!!!
Anyway I generally always do several things at once like I very rarely watch a film through I always have to be reading something at the same time (or at least have something to read on my lap even if its just the tv guide, so I'll read some soap descriptions for a minute and then watch tv again) and I keep getting up and doing stuff like washing up a bit in-between even if there's no ad breaks (LOL long live the BBC!!!).
In school I did well (grades) but I never partook in the lessons I kept making notes and doodles or solved maths problems but I could never just sit still and listen or give feedback. (Unfortunately we got graded on participation as well but my exam results always compensated for that!)
Big stuff just totally overwhelms me (things like cleaning the whole house, planning a holiday or a trip somewhere) and my brain just fries, my ex always had a go at me for "doing half-arsed jobs" (LOL and that's worse than NEVER doing anything in the house? Oops wrong topic sorry
) because I'd do some of the washing up then walk away to vac up part of the living room then go & do something else again.
Well it's either that or I just sit and stare at the TV while daydreaming because everything's just too much and I don't know where to start so I end up doing nothing at all! (Lazy cow
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif )
Anyway I digress (I do that a lot, bf thinks it's "cute" - weirdo!
), what's bugging me at work is that I feel like a total lazy slacker. I HAVE to do SOMETHING ELSE all the time I just CAN NOT sit there and work steadily on what I'm supposed to do for more than a few minutes! And it's not like a conscious decision I'm trying to concentrate and do something and then a few seconds later I catch myself staring into space or reading something instead of working.
Most of the time it's writing a quick E-Mail to someone (my parents sometimes) bit by bit (I write like 4 lines and then go back to it 10 minutes later) or reading/responding on here or other websites for a few minutes at a time. When our net access is not working I usually end up with a fried brain after at most half an hour and I just end up staring at the screen unable to think clearly
Now overall my employers don't mind as I DO DO a damn fine job and programming comes "natural" to me, I get everything done that I need to get done and I'm quick at finding solutions, but I still feel so bad because I feel like I should be able to just work steadily without having to keep my brain busy with other stuff!!!! And even with distractions I still end up with a headache and can't concentrate and just stare for a while, I just want to be able to think straight for once!!!
The only time I can do something for a prolonged amount of time is when I'm steadily working on something that's super interesting and needs little bits doing all over the place, sometimes I can get "lost in" something that I'm working on and sometimes when I've started something (like claning my room as a kid) I keep going until it's really late and I just can't stop.
At home the only thing I really can stick to for a long time is when I'm reading a book (a really good one) or playing a game on the PC as long as it's well-written and persistently interesting (I've learned to pick my books wisely now so I very rarely buy a boring one!), but as soon as it gets to a "boring" chapter I often give up and have to force myself to continue reading the book.
I've always "eaten" (= read VERY fast) books although I very rarely remember much of the contents (even while reading) but the most general points of the story, I never rememebr names of characters in books or films, it takes me ages to remember names and faces as well when meeting new people.
Anyone have experience with this or ways of dealing with it? I've stopped smoking and I've tried all sorts of vitamins and supplements that are supposed to help you focus and my concentration is still shot most of the time!
------------------
Redhead23
Female, 25
Quit smoking & left abusive relationship in 2003 - now there's just some 25 lbs to lose and I'm happy again
Possible ADD
Social & general anxiety, panic attacks
[This message has been edited by Redhead23 (edited 09-12-2003).]
"Having" to distract yourself?
Linear Mode
