Should I make him get tested?

Lessa · 01-04-2001, 04:34 PM

My fiance and I have been engaged for 2 years, and in an exclusive relationship for 4 years. Before we started dating, he had unprotected sex with one person. He still works with this person, and she assures him that she has been tested and has no STD's.

He has never had any symptoms, and he keeps telling me that if he had a disease he would have symptoms. We have always used condoms, but now with the upcoming wedding we want to change that.

I'm worried because I know he could have somthing without showing any symptoms, and would like him to be tested. He has no problem with the blood tests, but he REALLY does not want to have the "swab" done for Chlamydia (and I think there is a swab test for others as well).

Should I force him to have the tests done? Or take the other girls word for it that she is "clean" based on the fact that he has no symptoms?

TrickyDick · 01-04-2001, 06:40 PM

Your in a difficult situation. I am afraid that if you are concerned now, you are going to be really freaked out after your married.
It is no big deal to get a swab job, it does not hurt, its a little strange feeling but no pain. I would suggest that you have more discussions with him and suggest that your underlying fears (even if not correct) should be laid to rest as soon as possible.
Males can carry STDs WITHOUT symptoms for years. Females can also, but usually they have some symptoms. Good Luck

[This message has been edited by TrickyDick (edited 01-04-2001).]

Francis · 01-04-2001, 09:22 PM

I agree with the previous post that if you have some concerns now, you are going to be really freaked out later.

It is not likely that he has been infected by a STD for such a long time without symptoms (especially Chlamydia), but it is possible.

There are some urine tests for Chlamydia and the others urethritis infections (Gonorrhea, NSU/NGU), but they may not be available everywhere. Ask your clinic. However, a swab is not so terrible...

Hope this helps,
Francis.

Lessa · 01-05-2001, 10:33 AM

Thanks so much for the advice.

He thinks I'm overreacting, and maybe I am a little, but I feel like better safe than sorry...

Babbs · 01-09-2001, 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lessa:
Thanks so much for the advice.

He thinks I'm overreacting, and maybe I am a little, but I feel like better safe than sorry...

*********
I'm sure it would benefit him as well to get a clean bill of health. You won't be so worried and that would make life much better for the both of you. I wish you both the best.
Babbs