Scared of Failure..Need Support!

Smile4uhun · 05-24-2001, 03:35 PM

Hey everybody....I went out at lunch today and bought the patch. I plan on waking up tomorrow and starting a new life. I have been smoking 1 to 2 packs sometimes more if I went to the bar (which I haven't been to anymore in a year) and feel like hell.

I am 32 years old and ashamed of my weak charecter. I have fallen apart health wise. Not only do I smoke, but am overweight. I am tired all of the time, deal with constant headaches, my lungs actually HURT, irritable, insomnia.

I realized that this has got to stop...I am slowly committing suicide. I will never live to see my 8 year old graduate from College or get married. Everyone in my family has died from cancer.

I have to admit to you guys that I am really, really scared. Scared of failing, scared of getting heavier. I want to do this, but am so used to having it be this way that it seems easier. I know things in life that are good don't come easy....lord knows I have learned this the hard way. I just need some words of encouragement to get through this. I will check in tomorrow (Fri) during my first day...Thanks all

------------------
Smiles, Trish

workinggirl · 05-24-2001, 04:19 PM

Smile4uhun......., you just made the best decision of your life. I stopped smoking almost three months ago and this is the third time. This time if feels so right. I also didn't like to smoke and I have asthma. It is interesting that you think you have such weak character, I thought the same thing and the day I stopped smoking was because a friend told me I was the strongest person she knew and I could do anything. WOW! nobody had ever said that to me and it really meant alot. I went to buy the "patch" and thought damn these things are so expensive, why am I going to give my money to Nicoderm. I am going to keep my money. So I walked out of the store with no patch. I made the decision to stop smoking, but I did not tell anyone this but me. To much pressure to live up to. "I did not smoke yesterday and i have not smoked today and I hope like hell I don't smoke tomorrow", is my motto. Please don't sell yourself short, You to can stop smoking if you want to. Use whatever it takes because you don't want to miss out on your kids lives. My grandson was born with asthma three months ago and that also made a big impact on me. Three months old and having 6 breathing treatments a day. I want to see him grow up, so the monkey is off my back!!!! I hope this time for good. Goodluck to you and I know you can do it.

Smile4uhun · 05-24-2001, 05:16 PM

Dear WorkingGirl,

I too have been told I am the strongest person...I started out at 22 pregnant with no job skills, kicked out of my parents house with no money, there were times when my daughter was first born that we had no telephone, no car nothing much else to speak of except welfare.

I put myself through school, and started on a better career path, last year I ended a 5 and a half year stint with an alcoholic who verbally and physically abused me (not to mention a habit of being with men like that)...today I am happy to say that I now have a meaningful career, a relationship with a man who treats me with respect and dignity...but alas here's the smoking and weight issue and I am feeling as weak as a baby...but thank you for your encouraging words.

I also just found out last Friday that my daughter has asthma when I went to have her tested for her allergies...this has become a motivator...I have started wondering if I have it too....

------------------
Smiles, Trish

workinggirl · 05-24-2001, 08:31 PM

Smiles, are we sisters? With a histroy like that I think we could be. You just keep believing in yourself. With what you have done with your life, there is no doubt that you will stop smoking..then work on the weight next. I am so proud of you,because when you make up your mind to do something you do it. That takes alot woman!!!

I was just driving down the interstate from work noticing how many people were smoking and you know what I was so glad that I was not. My car doesn't stink, but I sure do miss it especially driving. But so far, no smokes today, and hope like hell none tomorrow. One day at a time. Let me know how you are doing.

Smile4uhun · 05-24-2001, 10:16 PM

WorkingGirl,

You are so sweet! I'll check in with you in the midst of my withdrawl tomorrow! LOL...I too will miss the smoking in the car...I am going to try my best to be strong...

------------------
Smiles, Trish