"Have A Laugh!"- Belles' Hospital Jokes!" -Join In!"

[nanna02]

Hi Everyone !
I have 2 pages of posts titled " Spinal Cord Disorders " under the same Topic - bell0050,- a lot of gloomy medical stuff ...some funny.. but decided it's time to have a laugh !! ..
There are some Funny things that happened to me on that post too, so read them if you like.?..

But I decided that I'd like others to Join in here and tell us THEIR Jokes of Hospital experiences too!Cheer others up eh?..
So I'll start off .. then you follow if you can think of Something real good !!

My first operation .. Dec. 2000.. I was first trip up out of bed .. Nurse said she'd give me a shower.. "have you been to the loo yet ?" she asked .. " No , I'm not very good at going .. too tense , " I replied.
Oh well , "I'll give you a suppository" she said and took me into the ward loo on my shower /type wheelchair. I was in my nightie , a towel thrown round my shoulders , that was all .
She did the deed , then wheeled me out into the room , of 3 other women,;
What she'd forgotten tho was she hadn't put the basin part of the commode into the wheelchair and my BARE BUM was hanging out the bottom, exposed to all and sundry !!.. but she wheeled me across the corridor to the showers so quickly I never got the chance to say anything.. !
She then showered me , bundled me back in the chair again.. that's when she realized " too late - Oh no basin!'".. wheels me back to my room..

.... and straight ahead, against a wall in a chair, looking straight AT ME , was a male visitor of another patient !!
I yelled " CLOSE YOUR EYES!!......" and hoped like hell he did !!....
BUT .. what I haven't said yet was ..
..
I was absolutely TERRIFIED that that suppository she'd given me wouldn't work while she was pushing me around in the wheelchair !! I imagined the lovely TRAIL I would've left behind!!!... Oh thank God it didn't happen !..
So .. Needless to say .. I'll be making SURE that this operation I'm having on 25th , the Shower wheel chair has the plastic basin well and truly in place !! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/redface.gif !!!

Well , have you recovered from laughing yet??(at my expense!!)
It's YOUR turn to tell us of YOUR funny hospital Experiences !!.. Come ON .. I'm waiting !! !

DavyD, Purple, AllisonM, Beebauser, Sparrow,Oliver, So many - All those other wonderful friends I've made on here ... come on ..
Love to hear from you All?!!
Belle NZ.. xxxx




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A Friend!

[This message has been edited by belle0050 (edited 07-06-2002).]

[purplefluffything]

Dear Belle,
I could'nt stop lauging at your situation you had at hospital, And the panick yo must have been in let alone embarresment from the chap looking at your bare botti,lol

Sorry Belle I cannot think of anything funny, while i was in hospital I WAS 37YRS and on my ward of four including me, There was a 92 year old woman with hip operation another woman near to her last days and was not with it And another lady of 82 yrs who thought she was cut above the rest and did not join in .

The only funny thing was that the 92yr old was almost deaf and at 10.pm she would get ready to watch a late film, she would have the telly up really high really p*** everyone off but then fall asleep, None of us could get out of bed and would have to wait for one of the night nurses to switch it off and tell us off, why this other lady was a sleep oblivios.

Well Belle thanks for your laugh, I HAD SUCH A TUMMY ACH THINKING WHAT IT MUST HAVE BEEN LIKE.

Hope to see some more funnies like yours.

Love Purple xxxx

[nanna02]

HI there Purple and Berenice !
It was cool to see 2 replies already !! We all need a laugh eh ?..
Glad you liked mine .. and I can imagine the old ladies in a room with you , younger .. Oh .. you'd have to have patience of a Saint !!!.. LOL!

AND Bereniece .. The HAIRDRYER!! LOL!!
YES, I've used it for similar things.. a wee trick I learnt when desperate !!

I sometimes would sneeze or cough, and the way the messages don't get through to my brain with the spinal cord squashed ,I wouldn't know I wanted to go to the loo, many a time I would find a wee dribble in my knickers !! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/redface.gif
It's ok to change into fresh ones when home, BUT when your husband is yelling at you to "Come on !I'm going out the Door!" .. Well .. That's the time for instant action needed .. and the Dryer came to the RESCUE !!!... NO one was any the wiser !!! !!

Women can be very ingenious at times in emergencies , eh?! can't we ?? http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/t_up.gif
Well , thanks for starting the Jokes off ..
Look forward to many more !!.. Belle NZ xxx

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A Friend!

[DavyD]

Hi Belle,Purple and Berenice...

[DavyD]

Hi "Again" Belle, Purple and Berenice,

Don't know what happened there, reply just sent itself.Shades of "Outerlimits"

Anyway, some time ago I was in hospital for a tonsilectomy, I was working with the Fire Brigade attached to the Salvage Corps at that time.

None of my work mates knew I was in Hospital, as I didn't want them all comming up at visiting time, the were a very boisterous group "Blue Watch" apptly named for their choice of descriptive expletives.

It was a mixed ward you see.

I was awake that morning for prep, duly got the jag, then off to theatre.Out of It!!!

This is when it all got a bit bizzare...

The next thing I remember was being wheeled in my bed with George at the head of the bed,and William at the bottom, mates from Blue Watch and in firefighter uniform, you know, hats, boots. axe etc. (Remember I am still out of it, in and out within seconds, so it's like a dream) they were wheeling me from one ward, out into the stairwell, and over into another ward.As we were in the stairwell
(Spiral Staircase, 5 floors, wards off it at each level either side)I looked up and saw all of my watch pushing beds everywhere with water gushing from the top floor all the way down the stairwell, like Niagra Falls. When amid all of this a Smart Alex (Person From my watch) Shouted over the balcony.. " Anything to get out of work Davy, you just lie back there, we'll manage without you) in the loudest voice possible.

Burst water tank in the roofspace (Attic)!!!!!!

I don't know if you will get a laugh out of this, but is was so weird and funny all at the same time for me.

Love to ALL

Davy




[This message has been edited by DavyD (edited 07-06-2002).]