vico,perc addicted 9yrs,HELP pls!Hopeless

[softheart]

Hi,I need some help,Im at my end.Ive been on 190- vicodonES,100-5mg percosets,40-60-10mgVico every month for about 9 yrs.Ive tried numerous times to get off them but I cant.My mind is willing but my body isnt.I lead a normal life.the drugs dont stop me from doing anything.After the first day Im in a ER getting demerol/dilauided shots.I dont have insurance to go into a hospital detox.I do have alot of "real" health problems.I dont even get the so called"eurphoria" feelings from the pills.Its just a matter of taking enough so I dont go into withdrawls.Please help me someone.How can I do it on my own.Im just hopeless,sue

[Capri38]

Softheart,
You state you have "Real" health problems, something obviously severe enough for your doctor to legitamately prescribe over 300 pills a month(?) In that case, I'm sure your doctor requires frequent office visits from you. I don't know what you pay for your meds, but I pay approx. $50.00 for 60 vicoden, a one month supply for me. My point is, is how do you pay for such a huge amount of meds, plus office calls without insurance? I can guarantee you that for the amount of money you spend a month, you can be making the same payments to a hospital or detox facility. Most, if not all, will allow you to make monthly payments. Please, think about it and the destruction you are doing to your body. I'm not one to talk, but I am taking less than half of what I was taking 2 months ago.
You are taking such a huge amount of meds. You sound like you want help, and there is help for you. You have to really want it, and dont make excuses.

Peace be with you.

[softheart]

thanx capri,i should have stated I have medi-cal.That pays for my meds 100%.In order to go to a detox,i have to pay.Thats what my dis.worker told me.I did look into that.I have looked into all that I know to look into to detox with help.Im at a standstill,thats why Im asking for any suggestions.Im hanging on by a mere thread.

[softheart]

I have two seperate doctors,both treat me for real illness.neither one knows about the other.I know this is wrong and it makes me feel even worse.I have asked to be slowly withdrawled from the vicodinES and she(Dr)refuses to do this,she says that becuz of my other health problems I need to be in a hospital to detox."Just great" since I cant get into one.I have called numerous DRs.and litterally begged for help,but becuz of my health issues no one wants to take the resposibility(I guess if something goes wrong)But I tell them that if I dont get help now I wont be around soon)I jjust keep bumping into walls.Thats where my hopelessness comes from.Ive even asked for meds to help me fight the withdrawl symptoms at home.NO ONE will help.All I get is Drs. wanting to put me on morphine pumps,Dilauded patchesDemerol Injectables ect. MORE drugs,Harder drugs..I wont lie either..the thought of it tugs at me.(I know the other addicts out there can relate to the TUG)But Im trying so hard to be strong and find someway to get off this crap.Im willing to sell my car and anything else I have(which iisnt much) to pay cash for a detox stay but they are just way to expensive.Is there something,somewhere I havent searched...I appreciate all and any helpp I can get.There might be something I just havent thought of.PLEASE help...Im giving myself a few more months to find someplace to at least start or Ive decided to just let go.

[The Rock]

This is just my suggestion, it's not meant to offend you or anyone else. Stop asking doctors and others who only offer options you can't meet. Hit your knees and cry out to the One who can deliver the solution. Some may argue that he does'nt hear the prayers of sinners(i'm not saying you are a sinner....i don't know if you go to church or even believe)..but the book does say He hears all crys for mercy. What do you have to lose? Anyway you decide to go I wish you all the best.

GoodLuck!!