concern over perceived weight loss

[mikeandvicki]

My wife is terrified that she is losing weight because of some undiagnosed illness. She does not know precisely what she weighed a year ago, but her physician's charts show that she has lost no weight at all in the past six months. Still she says she "feels lighter" and feels as though her clothes fit her differently, and she gets very alarmed any time some well-meaning soul tells her she looks like she's lost weight. A couple of people told her this the other day and she has been a nervous wreck ever since. Medical tests she's had recently for various gastric complaints have shown no illnesses or abnormalities, but of course, no tests can rule *everything* out, so she is still concerned that something serious could be wrong with her that has not yet been detected. Since she knows she has not lost weight in the past six months, she now believes that maybe the problem is that she hasn't *gained* weight even though she isn't eating as well as she should. Currently she is trying to eat high-fat desserts to see if she is able to gain any weight, and if she does not see a weight gain in the next week or so she is going to perceive that as a failure to gain weight and, therefore, tantamount to a weight loss.
Does anyone have any advice about either (a.) what she should ask her doctor about regarding what she believes to be a weight loss, or (b.) what she could do that might help convince her that there is nothing wrong with her?
Any help would be appreciated.
Mike

[AnxiousAlways]

hey there i have been or was losing weight do to stress i guess and i have been losing hair i to have been to the doc and nothing is wrong i hope i have been not able to gain weight either but stress does that if you have panic attacks and such. send your wife hugs for me.

((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

Love Prescious Sarah

[Lizzy H]

Hi Mike & Vic

When Vic noticed that her clothes fitted differently, had she been doing more than usual? in that she may have become fitter ie more toned. Clothes will feel different then. As she has had tests and everything is ok I can only think that she has got everything out of proportion, because she is not actually losing weight. When I became ill with Anxiety and Depression I lost 12lb in two weeks. That is a sign of illness. Weight fluctuation over a period of time is normal.
Worry, stress, anxiety brings rushes of adrenalin which will burn off more calories, so even if she is eating more she may still lose weight. When I was ill I did eat but it was only suggery cereal but I still shouldnt have lost weight.
I think Vic needs to talk to her doc about anxiety as this could snowball (I too thought I had an illness)there is help available if she can reach out and take it.Please let us know how you get on.

Take care
Lizzy XX

[chrysanthemum]

[del'd]

[This message has been edited by chrysanthemum (edited 01-10-2003).]

[mikeandvicki]

Thanks for the responses. To answer some questions, the key factor here is that she *isn't* losing weight. She was afraid she was (because she has a persistent fear that she has some undiagnosed fatal illness, and she always cites "sudden weight loss" or "unexplained weight loss" as a symptom of cancer), and when a couple of people said that she looked like she'd lost weight, she freaked out. What concerns me is this: When she went to her doctor and learned that she weighed the same today that she did six months ago, I thought she would feel better. Instead, she has convinced herself that even if she isn't *losing* weight, that maybe she isn't *gaining* weight when she should be. In other words, when confronted with the fact that she does not have a symptom, she is trying to manufacture it -- she's trying to rationalize how she really *does* have the symptom even though she has proof that she *doesn't* have it. Now she's trying to gain weight in an attempt to prove to herself that she can, and I'm afraid that if she doesn't start gaining weight immediately that she will take this as a sign that she's gravely ill. My wife has always had problems with stress and anxiety, always fears that the things that she loves (particularly our kids) will somehow be snatched away from her -- primarily, she believes that somehow she will die and not get to see them grow up. Anyway, we both know that she has stress and anxiety problems, but this thing with the weight loss is the first time that I've seen those anxieties lead to what I believe is truly irrational behavior, and it scares me a bit. We're both scared -- her about her imagined weight loss, and me about her mental state.