Hi, I'm currently a male and 18. I used to be pretty over weight, I mean not always, in elementry I was average, but once high school started I started to put on weight. I went to a high 245lbs, but was successful at losing it and now am at 160. I started in april and just finished about a month ago, anyways during high school I was never really one of those 'cool' guys with the girls. And now that I am feeling better about myself, and I have noticed the looks from the women I still tend to feel shy to even walk up to them and talk to them. I feel that they arent interested like they never were before. Any ideas on like how to get passed this? How can I start a converation or anything? Sometimes my heart will start to pound if I'm around to many women, or if one is actually trying to talk to my I wont say much, and it makes me look like an *** because I seem to be ignorant, but I'm really not lol. Anyways I feel that the old me is still inside, and shyness is really getting in the way of getting a g/f or even a women relationship started. Any advice would be appriciated, thanks
While I don't want to suggest to you to treat a girl like one of the guys, just treat her like a human being. Trust me, she's not going to bite you. Find someone you're really interested in and talk to them about things going on in school. A topic starter? Anything about her will do. I know people love talking about theirselves, I know I do. Smiling is always helpful. Just be yourself! And I promise, even though a rejection from a girl may be harsh if you ask her to hang out, the one that accept make up for it. Don't let anything get you down!! You will regret if you do not a girl out and you had always wanted too. Take it from me, I've asked every single guy I've gone to homecoming with, and not all have said yes. But i'm still here! Please keep us updated! I hope I helped
LIES!! I've been biten before! Left a mark too....
Anyway - Theres only one way to get past being shy, and thats practice. The more you talk to girls, and the more you get used to inserting your foot into your mouth, the less shy you are.
And dont think just cos you dont talk much girls with think your ignorant. Most girls hate a loud mouth, especially those who really dont know when to shutup. They'd prefer a good listener. Thats not to say you sit there and demostrate your vocabulary consists of the 3 words "yeah, arr, and uha". You should still talk about the same things you would any of your mates (keep it tasteful though).
Last thing to remember. Dont look at every chick you talk to as an opportunity. If your out to impress every girl you find, your bound to screw up. Just see her as someone esle to talk to, a mate, nothing more. Wait till you know a girl before thinking different.
[-]Better To Die On Your Feet, Then Live On Your Knees[-]
Anyway I want to say congrats on losing your weight to meet a goal. Now, to business....You lost the weight and you are feeling good for yourself. I wish I could tell you not to be shy but thats a hard one because it all comes from the inside. You have to be more confident about things. Some people you lose and some you win so dont feel down about it. Just go up to a girl and talk to her. Just introducing yourslf and open a lot for conversation. If its a girl in class then talk about the class. You can do it but you have to find the faith within yourself.
Good Job losing the weight!I used to have tons of friend girls in elementary school, but then in junoir high they all went there seperate ways.It took me three years, but now I seem to have conquered most of my shyness.Im not nesarily shy, just quiet.I am more of a listener than a talker.I figure when I develop more ill have alot more confidence.You should just talk to the girls normally, and try not to feel nervous.Good luck!
just build it up, just start smiling at any girl that you pass...or if you see a girl regualry....or see a certain girl ont he bus everyday, just smile at her, then start saying hi everytime you see her, then slowely build it up, eventually youll find the confindence to have at least a small conversation with her