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Old 01-23-2005, 08:51 PM   #1
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dstalker3 HB User
Is there guides to kill shyness or social anxiety

Not only with girls, but like when I do oral presentations in front of the class... I mean I'm a confident person I swear, and I LOVE oral presentations, I mean before the oral I'm always super ready to go there and do the little act.. but when I'm there, I start shaking and voice starts breaking and I think to myself (( AAh what the hell! I dont want to be stressed! Why is this happening this aint me! ))


Also. With girls. I dont know anything. What to talk about, how to look at them, the little eye contact trick, whats it about?

Is there a guide somewhere... Or do you people have 'exercices' I can do to be less shy everyday? like someone told me say hi to a stranger everyday... but I wanna know ALL your ideas please!

P.S.: Im 16.

 
Old 01-23-2005, 11:09 PM   #2
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Re: Is there guides to kill shyness or social anxiety

I used to be like that. The only way you'll overcome social anxiety is to become just that - social. I was never the conversationalist, so I decided to take myself out of my comfort zone, which meant surrounding myself with more people and introducing myself and talking to everyone. It would be a lot less stressful and embarrassing if you became friends with everyone in your class. When the teacher asks for volunteers to pass out papers or whatever, volunteer and do it so you'll become more comfortable with your peers and being infront of your class. A little trick when giving an oral presentation is to look just above everyone's head, so it looks like you're maintaining good eye contact with your audience. The more you surround yourself with people, the more comfortable you'll become. You need to open up to people more.

As far as girls go... Girls love to talk, man. Ask her about her goals, likes/dislikes, her past and the topics will branch out from there. Keep eye contact with her, smile and show her that you're interested in what she's saying. A girl will give you clues and leads as to what she likes, try relating yourself to the things she says and likes, and show her that you have common interests. Be spontaneous and compliment her from time to time, but don't overdo it because she may feel like you're doing it just to score points. See how she responds to your compliments and read her body language, because sometimes a girl's body language speaks louder than the words that come out of her mouth. She may say one thing but her body is saying something else. I've noticed that girls love to throw mixed signals and they love attention. Show her that you're paying attention. This is just basic. It depends largely on the setting in which you approach a girl too, are you talking about approaching a girl in class or what? This is the nice guy approach there are other approaches to drive girls crazy, but this is a good way to start. Ask her about herself and the topics will branch out from there, trust me.

Last edited by ForgottenFaith; 01-23-2005 at 11:25 PM.

 
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Old 01-24-2005, 05:47 AM   #3
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Re: Is there guides to kill shyness or social anxiety

Woah dude I'm the SAME... Haha, my oral presentations are like, so prepared and I get up there and I start sweating, shaking, grr... And with girls, I dunno where to stare!! I mean, their eyes, the floor, the sky, where?! Haha... Hmm, what I've tried is like, talking slower, I dunno why I just feel more calm and collected. ForgottenFaith made some good points too =)

 
Old 01-25-2005, 10:17 PM   #4
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Re: Is there guides to kill shyness or social anxiety

For the oral pres. just keep in mind that most likely the other kids aren't really listening to you. When I was doing speeches I remembered that when someone else was speaking I was thinking more about my speech and after I gave my speech I didn't pay attention the rest of the class time.

As for talking to girls and in social situation where you hardly know anyone... A long time ago I got the advice to just turn to the first person you see greet them and then ask them three questions about themselves in a row, but not like giving them the 3rd degree though, mostly likely they will think you are the most interesting person there just because you are interested in talking to them. If they don't talk to you oh well, move on to the next person. ANd basically just practise talking to people.

 
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