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Old 08-29-2006, 01:17 PM   #1
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kingam HB User
Shyness with women...

hey guys... i recently met someone who is very cool, and so far so good, but here is my problem...

i get so nervous ill have nothing to say... like im nervous the conversation will become quiet and she will think im boring...

any of you get this? what do you do? its killing me... i want things to go well so badly i beat myself up over the smallest stuff... gives me tons of anxiety.

 
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Old 08-29-2006, 01:37 PM   #2
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Therag HB User
Re: Shyness with women...

I know the feeling. And most men feel the same believe me.

You have got past the initial stage of meeting this lady, so you are ok. The best thing to do is show an interest in her, women hate men who ramble on about themselves, but they love it when a man listens to them.

I find that if I try my best to relax the conversation flows better than if I've been worrying about what to say, just be yourself! Women love honesty. You could go to somwhere like a museum or gallery and that will give you something to chat about, find a common interest.

I wish you luck. You will be ok.

 
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Old 08-29-2006, 01:43 PM   #3
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kingam HB User
Re: Shyness with women...

thanks man! yeah, the beginning is the worst! lol... i always have found it very hard to be myself in the beginning, which probably holds true for most people. i just need to relax a little bit... thats the real trick though, eh?

thanks again man!

 
Old 08-29-2006, 05:41 PM   #4
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eve40 HB User
Re: Shyness with women

You know, I find something very appealing about shy men. The only thing about them is, you may not know that they do care because they never say it. I think that is a particular problem for shy men. They MUST find a way to tell a woman they care, after that, any woman who cares will be more then willing to meet you half way. But, you can't expect a woman to take the chance YOU aren't willing to take.

Last edited by eve40; 08-29-2006 at 05:42 PM.

 
Old 08-29-2006, 09:40 PM   #5
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Lance0204 HB User
Re: Shyness with women...

Quote:
Originally Posted by kingam
hey guys... i recently met someone who is very cool, and so far so good, but here is my problem...

i get so nervous ill have nothing to say... like im nervous the conversation will become quiet and she will think im boring...

any of you get this? what do you do? its killing me... i want things to go well so badly i beat myself up over the smallest stuff... gives me tons of anxiety.
well, just stop thinking about the conversation and how its going. just accept the way the conversation is flowing. so what if there are quiet moments. no sensible girl will think you're boring, after all, how much effort is she putting into keeping the conversation going? maybe SHE is the boring one? did you ever think about that?

 
Old 08-30-2006, 01:08 AM   #6
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caladbolg HB User
Re: Shyness with women...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lance0204
well, just stop thinking about the conversation and how its going. just accept the way the conversation is flowing. so what if there are quiet moments.
Hey I agree. If you keep thinking about how awkward things are when you're talking to this girl, chances are, they will be! Relax and you'll naturally find some things to talk about.

Hey, sure beats idiots like me who talk way too much about stupid stuff.

 
Old 04-27-2011, 10:22 AM   #7
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tincan83 HB User
Re: Shyness with women...

Quote:
Originally Posted by kingam View Post
hey guys... i recently met someone who is very cool, and so far so good, but here is my problem...

i get so nervous ill have nothing to say... like im nervous the conversation will become quiet and she will think im boring...

any of you get this? what do you do? its killing me... i want things to go well so badly i beat myself up over the smallest stuff... gives me tons of anxiety.
I can empathise. Happens all the time, and then after I always think, well that could have gone better. Can think of witty, interesting conversations in my head but then I have a mind freeze when the situation occurs.

 
Old 05-21-2011, 01:24 AM   #8
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LAX21 HB User
Re: Shyness with women

Just be yourself is the best advice. Owning your shyness will make you better right off the bat. Women want men who are vulnerable and honest. If you say you are normally a shy person and you a worried that she won't enjoy your conversation, you'll already be in a better place. Men never, ever show women that side. Being open and upfront with her about your anxieties will win her over. She will appreciate it. If she doesn't you really don't want to be with someone like that. Relax and be the real you. Flaws are what makes us human. Embrace them and you'll be much more comfortable. Good luck

 
Old 04-15-2012, 12:06 AM   #9
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Re: Shyness with women

Quote:
Originally Posted by eve40 View Post
You know, I find something very appealing about shy men. The only thing about them is, you may not know that they do care because they never say it. I think that is a particular problem for shy men. They MUST find a way to tell a woman they care, after that, any woman who cares will be more then willing to meet you half way. But, you can't expect a woman to take the chance YOU aren't willing to take.
This was my biggest hope back when I was super shy, to find my true love so that I could open up to her and that finally, someone would really understand me. That I could really be open and honest with her, and tell her how much I loved her.

Quote (The Princess Bride):
Westley: Hear this now: I will always come for you.
Buttercup: But how can you be sure?
Westley: This is true love - you think this happens every day?

 
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