It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Shyness Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-12-2006, 12:28 PM   #1
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 39
flyway HB User
Ridiculous Shyness

I get very nervous when i have to speak or read out in front of a class, and I always tremble and fail to do it properly. I also cannot present without having to be so nervous and ruining everything. Can someone help me? I'm in 10th grade and I am very concerned that I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life. My heartrate booms when I have to do a reading out or presentation in class these days and I'm really stressed and ****** of about it. Sometimes I even wish i was dead so I can get rid of this embarassment and nervousness, can someone help me out here, how do I get rid of this

 
The following user gives a hug of support to flyway:
Blackandred (01-15-2012)
Old 11-12-2006, 12:52 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ontario
Posts: 3,770
Blog Entries: 1
trg247 HB Usertrg247 HB Usertrg247 HB User
Re: Ridiculous Shyness

I hate to say this but the best way to get over it is to practice. I sucked at it through out high school but during college where you may do up to four verbal assignments a week I slowly got better. I still do not like doing them but I can get by

trg247
__________________
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Current Meds
Pristiq
Cymbalta
Seroquel
Temazapam

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 11-12-2006, 12:59 PM   #3
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: England
Posts: 200
All-alone HB User
Re: Ridiculous Shyness

I was a trainer for some new systems and had to give 10 lectures a day.

Tell your self they are no better than you and take deep breathes. They are all listening to you as you have all the info in your hands, they however do not.

Like TRG says it is down to practise, when we did our exams etc and they asked who wanted to go first I was always first up, for 2 reasons.

1) The obv get it over and done with.

2) The class is just starting and interest is high so you don't need to work as hard to maintain there interest.

 
Old 11-12-2006, 02:08 PM   #4
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 31
mad-rocker HB User
Re: Ridiculous Shyness

Hi flyway,

Trust me, you're not alone with this one! I'm currently doing A-Level's at college and I nearly quit because I got myself in such a state.

Have you spoken to your tutors about it? If you tell them, they should be understanding! I've told all my tutors and my mates in my class so they know how I get. My mates have been very supportive.

Try saying to yourself, really you're only presenting to one individual person, they're just listening at the same time.

Also, imagine you're just talking to a group of friends. Try and change your way of thinking.

Looking at one person also helps.

There's something you could try (if you have it where you are) called Rescue Remedy. It doesn't work for everyone, but you could give it a try.

Remember that whilst your doing yours, they're sat there worrying about theirs! That's all they're thinking.

I'm yet to do the presentations, but I keep getting putting on the spot. I panic before I even get into the classroom, so I know what it's like

Last edited by mad-rocker; 11-12-2006 at 02:15 PM.

 
Old 11-12-2006, 10:48 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New York
Posts: 1,464
Dakota_Skye HB User
Re: Ridiculous Shyness

hey flyway,

i agree with the other posters:

try to be the first or second, so that you can get over it sooner, and won't have to sit there getting more anxious waiting your turn.

practice (out loud!!), in your room, or in front of your friends, or in front of your family, or wherever, until you almost know it without reading it (at least the major parts)

like the other poster said, remember, all the other guys are sitting there worrying about their own papers!!! believe me!!

before you actually do the present, do some "relaxation /calming breathing"....SLOWLY, breathe in from the diaphragm/abdomen, while counting up to 6 (or more if you can) and watch as your stomach expands; stop; count to 6; release the breath slowly through your mouth, while counting to six (or more). make sure you release all of the breath!!!

do this breathing (making sure your stomach sticks out when you breathe in), a few times...very slowly. it does help, believe me. try it sometimes before you actually do your presentation, and see if it works for you.

i was exactly the way you say you are, all thoughout school, up to college. in grad school i got used to it, since they had us do more of these things as well as so called self-awareness classess where we had to sit in small groups and talk about ourselves...now that was really a wondrous experience (sarcastic)...no, but seriously...it will be fine!!

let us know how it went.

also, remember, you may feel worse than you think you may look to others.

it's also perfectly fine to say that you're a bit nervous when you start (i used to say that all the time...and it gave me more room to make mistakes, and to be nervous)....

plus, i think if your teacher sees the effort you put into it, she/he will be cool with you!!

ultimately, if you think this is something you absolutely cannot do, explain it to the teacher. don't be embarrassed. many pple have this issue. millions of them. ask if you can do something else to make up that part of the course grade. maybe?!!! just an idea.

the best of luck to you!!!

 
Old 11-13-2006, 02:57 AM   #6
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 239
jimmyhonda HB User
Re: Ridiculous Shyness

Hi flyway,

Been there...done that...sometimes I really wish I was still at high school again and do these presentations!!!

Try to PRETEND to be an actor/actress. Ask yourself why are actors and actresses so popular and have so many fans???....because they can ACT! As a result, people like them.

Actors and actresses need to memerize their script. so you need to memorize your presentation.

the best way to do this is practice over a mirror - see how you look like in front of a mirror...

the other way is watch news...tape it, and see how reporters report on a news?

 
Old 11-13-2006, 06:53 AM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 6,178
Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: Ridiculous Shyness

Flyway, this sounds familiar to me also. I actually found a really deep reason why I hated to speak out in front of others. My mom was/is very narcissistic. She didn't meet any of mine or my sisters needs (well, she fed us and washed our clothes!). I think that I hated to speak in front of others because I felt that I would be punished (mom would disapprove and not love me anymore) if I received any attention. It's amazing how children interpret things! My mom wanted all of the attention in our house (only her needs were met) and she must have gotten angry if we tried to draw attention to our needs. Anyway, this deep analysis really helped me deal with a lot of issues in my life. I also think that if you don't like yourself it is stressful to put yourself up on display. Embarrassment is really just shame about yourself.

 
Old 11-13-2006, 10:15 AM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,789
galinaqt HB User
Re: Ridiculous Shyness

Toastmasters would be very helpful to you

 
Old 11-13-2006, 11:22 AM   #9
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 39
flyway HB User
Re: Ridiculous Shyness

Thanks for your help guys abd gals, really means a lot

 
Old 11-13-2006, 10:24 PM   #10
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: PA
Posts: 12
pertygirl HB User
Re: Ridiculous Shyness

I think this is normal...a lot of people are nervous, shy when having to speak infront of others......i know you will be okay though........
I like the title of your thread "ridiculous shyness" i feel like I am and act RIDICULOUSLY shy!!!! It drives me crazy.......too shy to yell (i work in a resturant and sometimes u needa raise your voice), too shy to raise my hand in class, b/c i don't want to say something stupid....and then the fact that i haven't said much juss puts so much pressure on me to say something good once i actually speak ..but it's ridiculous! But somedays i am able to raise my hand...I'm sick of being shy/self-conscious.....I worry too much about what other people think...like when i was living in a dorm I was too afraid to order out food because then I'd have to go out in the lobby and people would see me, and i'm 30lbs overweight......Or the fact that I use to be too intimidated to go into shoe stores like Footlocker b/c I felt like I'd be judged on which shoe I picked....too self-conscious to talk on my cell-phone freely around people ....Dumb stuff like that!!!!!!! Not a good way to live....i'm a lil better at that stuff though...i don't try to shadow people anymore as much.....

 
Old 11-14-2006, 05:09 AM   #11
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 6,178
Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: Ridiculous Shyness

Pertygirl, have you tried counseling to work on this issue? You are really isolating yourself with this which makes everything worse.

 
Old 11-14-2006, 12:04 PM   #12
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 39
flyway HB User
Re: Ridiculous Shyness

Quote:
Originally Posted by pertygirl
I think this is normal...a lot of people are nervous, shy when having to speak infront of others......i know you will be okay though........
I like the title of your thread "ridiculous shyness" i feel like I am and act RIDICULOUSLY shy!!!! It drives me crazy.......too shy to yell (i work in a resturant and sometimes u needa raise your voice), too shy to raise my hand in class, b/c i don't want to say something stupid....and then the fact that i haven't said much juss puts so much pressure on me to say something good once i actually speak ..but it's ridiculous! But somedays i am able to raise my hand...I'm sick of being shy/self-conscious.....I worry too much about what other people think...like when i was living in a dorm I was too afraid to order out food because then I'd have to go out in the lobby and people would see me, and i'm 30lbs overweight......Or the fact that I use to be too intimidated to go into shoe stores like Footlocker b/c I felt like I'd be judged on which shoe I picked....too self-conscious to talk on my cell-phone freely around people ....Dumb stuff like that!!!!!!! Not a good way to live....i'm a lil better at that stuff though...i don't try to shadow people anymore as much.....
Wow, your personality is like the female clone of mine. 90% of the things you mentioned in that is exactly like me...too shy to yell (except in my own house lol), and sometimes I'm even too shy to go into my own garden because of my clothes...

Last edited by flyway; 11-14-2006 at 12:06 PM.

 
Old 11-14-2006, 02:42 PM   #13
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 180
stay2gether HB User
Re: Ridiculous Shyness

Hi Oh I was like that it was awful! When i was in college I had to give one so i thought id be brave and do it first. My teacher said "right then who wants to go first" and i was like " I will!". Soon as i got up there I just turned into a stammering mess, I couldnt even get a word out properly and was bright red! All very embarressing! I guess the solution is to build on your confidence and take your time. It is true about how everyone is only thinking about when it will be their turn and getting more anxious about it, and you will probably notice that they too are just as nervous as you, unless they have lots of confidence which some people just do... Public speaking can be a really hard thing to do tho but I think like the other poster said just explain how nrervous you are to everyon etc and they should understand

 
Old 11-15-2006, 08:54 AM   #14
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 39
flyway HB User
Re: Ridiculous Shyness

Quote:
Originally Posted by stay2gether
Hi Oh I was like that it was awful! When i was in college I had to give one so i thought id be brave and do it first. My teacher said "right then who wants to go first" and i was like " I will!". Soon as i got up there I just turned into a stammering mess, I couldnt even get a word out properly and was bright red! All very embarressing! I guess the solution is to build on your confidence and take your time. It is true about how everyone is only thinking about when it will be their turn and getting more anxious about it, and you will probably notice that they too are just as nervous as you, unless they have lots of confidence which some people just do... Public speaking can be a really hard thing to do tho but I think like the other poster said just explain how nrervous you are to everyon etc and they should understand
Very true, thank you for the nice words

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Overcoming shyness what a curse dylankaya4444 Shyness 8 04-14-2012 10:52 PM
what the diffrence between Shyness and Social Anxiety Prince1 Shyness 4 11-20-2006 06:00 PM
Is this severe shyness or something else? US40126 Shyness 1 02-24-2006 10:45 PM
5 yr old - shyness or CP? firehorse Shyness 7 09-06-2005 06:32 AM
Anyone tried these prescription drugs for depression or shyness Dan989 Shyness 10 06-09-2005 07:18 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:11 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!