I've posted a message similar to this one but here it goes... I need to know how you people went about getting out of shyness. I have been shy for quite some time now and I want to show people the real me!!! I want to be able to go to parties and talk to whoever I like. I want to accuire better self-confidence so I don't care what people will think before I actually say anything. I want to be able to have better self-confidence so people don't look at me like I'm unsure of myself. I want to know EXACTLY how to act and have people love me for it! I want to change and I feel your input will give me a greater idea and will better my personal thought and improve my self-confidence so I can achieve my goals!
Hi Max and welcome,
Like you I used to be painfully shy(yes its true) there is no exact way to act for people to love you or it. Eli as usual, is sound in his advice Small Steps, but I'd add something to that, have a close friend act as a go between and let everyone know your shy, it helps when people know what their dealing with. People allways though I was stuck up because I never talked or really participated in anything(I was to nevous)I was always afraid I'd say the wrong thing or do something stupid. Ya know what, when I just admitted to people that I was shy and a little uncomfortable. they were more than understanding and when out of their way to make me feel comfortable.
Best advice don't try to "act" anyway other than yourself, people will know it. Just be honest.
Thanks for the info! So how and when did you decide to come out and tell people how you were? And did they like act surprised? like they had no idea? I am interested.... I will try your advice, both of you! And I must say... I'm happy to hear you reply to my message!
Hi Max! Welcome to our benevolent board! Let's see, how did I let everyone know... I picked up the phone, called my mom and said "Um, mom? I'm in the hospital... can you feed my cat???" lol... that's how she found out, though. I told my mom beforehand that I was a little depressed, but while I was in the hosp, I signed a release (stupid, stupid, stupid!!! because now everyone knows...) and she found out everything about my illness. One of my friends knows that I have psychotic symptoms, and the rest think that I'm just depressed.
I don't know what your support system is like, but if it's not good, I wouldn't let everyone and their brother know what's going on w/ you, if you know what i mean. My parents let all of their friends know, and whenever I go over there I hide in the house if one of them were to come over.
Best of luck to you!
PS I used to have an employee named Max, and he was one of the greatest people I know!
How did I get over it or come out of the closet as it were, truthfully I never really did, I still get jittery in large crowds and groups of people I don't know.
How I anouced to the world, her name was colleen and at 14 she stood 5'9" weighed 180 and had a temper like a biker, with a mouth and an attitude to match, and the first day in school( she was the new kid) we had PE together. she tried to talk to me cause we were both different, all I could manage was to smile and stare at the floor, sometimes giggling to cover how nervous I was, the PE teacher decided to pair us up and we two odd balls were left standing in front of the stage in the aud. so all the kids in PE were staring, so I just giggled more. Colleen took this to mean that I was laughing at her, and it P***** Her off! In the locker room she told me she would be waiting for me after school.
Well you know how kids are the news of a fight speed like wild fire. I was S*** scared. Thankfully the Principal intervened and we were both call to the office, were we had some explaining to do. Anyway in having to explain myself to avoid future problems I told the truth. Colleen just stared at me for a moment and said her brother was the same way. It was a relef finally someone who didn't think I was stupid, stuck up,ect...nothing beats a 5'9" best buddy to clear a path for ya!
I didn't really have to deal with my shyness until colleen moved away, she was hard to miss and easy to hide behind in more ways than one, but with the success I had with colleen I decided that truth was the best way to handle things. I just told one or two people i could trust at first and they help by interducing to their friends and so on. It gets easier with time. But there is always the jitters in the back ground. Sometime I can control them others its harder.
Like I said before a friend is a powerful allie.