annarayne

i'm not sure exactly still if these are what i'm having but after doing a lot of looking, i'm almost certain.
i've had insomnia most of my life, since i was very young and i'm now 19. at around 16 i was put on anti depressent to treat it, although instead of helping it just made it worse.. and seemed to make me more depressed. i wasn't really all that depressed to begin with, just the usual teenage angst.. i took these for about a year, i had my doses brought up, switched meds, tried combinations... all to no avail. one night, when i hadn't slept for over 60 hours (while on the meds!! ..so frustrating) i seemed to have woken up and there was a girl and an older woman at my door. of course, i know that wasn't real now. i panicked though, i swore it was real. and i still get these strange type of hallucinations every now and then when i'm off the medication. it was mostly because of this that i first went off them. it stopped a while. then a few months later i saw them again without the meds. so i figured i might as well try going back on something to help with sleep because it's really hard to function daily when i don't sleep well. anyway, long story short, they did the same as the first time.. made me more depressed, didn't get much more sleep then usual.. so i stopped them. and still, i get these hallucinations. i can almost predict them coming on because as i'm falling asleep i can hear these noises (in my head obviously..) then it feels like i'm stuck between awake and dream and i see things, thinking they're real, i freak out and force myself to fully awake.
if these aren't hypnagogic hallucinations can anyone maybe tell me what this could be? this never happened before i started taking the anti depressents for sleep and now that i'm not taking them anymore, it still happens. i'm better at dealing with it, kind of shrug it off.. but at times it gets a little scary. i'm 19.. so being afraid of dreams is a bit strange at my age...