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Old 02-04-2013, 09:42 AM   #1
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Can anyone give me any thought, Please?

Can you please read this and give me some thought. I will appreciate ...

This is the story of my constant fight with pain to keep my spirit up to feel better.... I v been in chronic pain in my back and hands and recently my leg for like 1 year. Until recently, 2 months ago, i tried to overcome the difficulties that this has brought to me. So mainly i tried to be positive and keep going ... Until late December that suddenly my pain became worse and i kind of felt too much pressure, specially i felt tangible pressure and pain on my brain. I prayed for relief and I just wanted to have less pain. And in my surprise, I felt i kind of switched to a different state. i became calmer and in peace with my pain, avoided many food, and had much less sleep .. Also, i felt like i couldn't ( and still cant) cry .. i browse the songs that made me sad and cry, but instead i smile even when i feel emotional pain .. I tended to relate changes in my appetite and sleep and feeling to good things. but i m becoming worried and not sure where i m heading off because some of changes are becoming extreme.. I have problems with sleep; forget about eating and other feeling. I go to sleep and get up in 2 hours and cant go back to sleep until morning that i have to go to work. My work all involves working with clients and i need to be fine and i m getting very worried. I m like this since at least new year. What is wrong with me? .. I talked to my doctor he talked to me and asked me to see him in two weeks. I got little bit better and he told me to see him again in two weeks ( that would be next week). but i m much worse now compared to last week. I am not stressed. I am more calm and when I have pain I feel just emotionless. I don't feel very sad , I might feel a little blue ( a kind of dominant feeling, but not much). Here is the only place that I write / say how I feel. This chronic pain experience made me realize I am very vulnerable and I don't have much support ..It takes me lots of energy and makes me sad to explain people how I am. I had some problem with my motivation to work, but I tried to do the work because I love my work and I feel i somehow overcame the difficulty .. I try to do things, like exercise and i m doing it regularly.

Last edited by shahila; 02-04-2013 at 04:30 PM.

 
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Old 02-04-2013, 10:26 AM   #2
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Re: Can anyone give me any thought, Please?

It seems the real issue is trying to figure out what is causing you so much pain. Chronic pain causes many problems and even changes in the brain. It seems you are doing so much to live with it, but what has been done to find the source of it?> Have you been to a rheumatologist, since most of pain is in back and hands (would suggest arthritis)? I would start there. Psychologically, I think you are "numbing out" to numb the pain, but at the same time your feelings and other needs, like to eat, are numbed also. You may have a condition that is treatable, and would relieve or lessen your pain, and I think that's where to focus.

 
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Old 02-04-2013, 10:45 AM   #3
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Re: Can anyone give me any thought, Please?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ladybud View Post
It seems the real issue is trying to figure out what is causing you so much pain. Chronic pain causes many problems and even changes in the brain. It seems you are doing so much to live with it, but what has been done to find the source of it?> Have you been to a rheumatologist, since most of pain is in back and hands (would suggest arthritis)? I would start there. Psychologically, I think you are "numbing out" to numb the pain, but at the same time your feelings and other needs, like to eat, are numbed also. You may have a condition that is treatable, and would relieve or lessen your pain, and I think that's where to focus.
thanks for the reply. it started from carpal tunnel in my hands. and it moved to my neck/back. when i did nerve conduction they can identify the nerve and pain. but they dont do the surgery because it s not very severe. the doctor just looks at me and says because u do a lot of work this is taking time, and i have no idea of how much, but it s like 10 months that i have of and off pain. and i dont know why i m having numbness and tingling in my leg and foot too.

I feel broken all the time. Most of the time i get this reaction from everyone that your pain is not serious, not like worse things. My friend says I love you, but he never asks me about my hands and pains, just because it is invisible, because i dont know how to complain in front of people, because they think she is a capable girl, because it is supposed to be a temporary sickness ( which is been long for me), because i prefer to stay the night up with pain and dont call others who dont understand. I dont like judgmental people who compare the pain of others to other things. I only wish they have the same situation. and I know I feel this much emotionless because I continued seeing people ignoring me. Now when someone asks me about this and I have to respond something, I just laugh and they look at me with surprise. People are weird. If you talk they say shut up if you dont talk they say why you dont talk. And to be honest, i feel numb to follow up with finding another doctor .. They have given me some pills for the time I have pain, but when it happens, i just get so numb that i cant do anything ... absolutely nothing.

Last edited by shahila; 02-04-2013 at 04:43 PM.

 
Old 02-05-2013, 07:24 AM   #4
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Re: Can anyone give me any thought, Please?

I truly understand how having an invisible pain problem makes people dismiss it or believe it isn't that bad, unfortunately, even some Drs! There are treatments for carpal tunnel syndrome, from antiinflammatories, splints, to cortisone injections in the carpal tunnel, to surgery as last resort. Some occupations cause or aggravate CTS, so it may even be covered under workmen's comp. If your Dr just gave you pain pills, and offered nothing else, he did you a major disservice. Please see a rheum and get appropriate treatment. I just had a CTS injection in one hand, and it helped immensely. You can get both done in about 5-10 minutes and the relief can last for months or longer if you curtail the activities that are aggravating it. Your leg and foot numbness and back pain may be from a degenerated or herniated disc. This can be treated too. Please don't resign yourself to suffering with this, just because other people judge you unfairly. You must have the confidance to ask for what you need, make your voice heard and find a Dr. who will listen to what you say, not judge you on the fact you look normal. Check out "the invisible advocate" literature on the web. It is written by a Colorado lady with MS who really nails the problems associated with invisible illness and describes a patient's feelings very aptly in her brochure, which you can ******** and print or order a hard copy from her. If your CTS or back problem is related to work, by all means see the workmen's comp Dr and ask for an MRI for back and injection for wrists.

Last edited by ladybud; 02-05-2013 at 07:28 AM. Reason: typo

 
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Old 02-05-2013, 11:03 AM   #5
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Re: Can anyone give me any thought, Please?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ladybud View Post
I truly understand how having an invisible pain problem makes people dismiss it or believe it isn't that bad, unfortunately, even some Drs! There are treatments for carpal tunnel syndrome, from antiinflammatories, splints, to cortisone injections in the carpal tunnel, to surgery as last resort. Some occupations cause or aggravate CTS, so it may even be covered under workmen's comp. If your Dr just gave you pain pills, and offered nothing else, he did you a major disservice. Please see a rheum and get appropriate treatment. I just had a CTS injection in one hand, and it helped immensely. You can get both done in about 5-10 minutes and the relief can last for months or longer if you curtail the activities that are aggravating it. Your leg and foot numbness and back pain may be from a degenerated or herniated disc. This can be treated too. Please don't resign yourself to suffering with this, just because other people judge you unfairly. You must have the confidance to ask for what you need, make your voice heard and find a Dr. who will listen to what you say, not judge you on the fact you look normal. Check out "the invisible advocate" literature on the web. It is written by a Colorado lady with MS who really nails the problems associated with invisible illness and describes a patient's feelings very aptly in her brochure, which you can ******** and print or order a hard copy from her. If your CTS or back problem is related to work, by all means see the workmen's comp Dr and ask for an MRI for back and injection for wrists.
thanks a lot for writing to me. i v been so hopeless and it is 4 am and i cant sleep after 2 hours sleep, 12-2 am. ur comment gave me hope. thanks .. Tomorrow ( which is today!) i wont go to work and try to ask for these things. this doctor is more concerned with the psychological impacts of my pain, but i m basically there for physical problems. i m getting worried because i see i have depressive symptoms, like waking up with 2 hours sleep! .. and i feel many of problems are related to sleep problem. One of the reasons that this situation has ended up like this is that i m really busy in my life and I dont know if i dont spend a day at work what will happen and who will be there fore me to be of little support.

I used braces for 3 months 22 hours a day, 2 months on and off too. and i v been to physio too. when my pain started, the doctor and physio both said it is tendinitis because I had no numbness and tingling. So the physio gave me exercises and asked me to do everything I used to do, just with break. But after a month, my nerves got involved. So i started developing carpal tunnel. For that month work paid for that, but after that they said it s another problem. And my work place behaved very weird .. Probably in August that it was extremely bad i called my parents and sister ( they live overseas). i often felt like they don't hear my cry. I begged my sister and mom to come over and visit me. My boss never told me what are those braces in your hands. I like him , but still that was their reaction. Since then I have lost my emotions and I feel i need to just bury things inside.

My gfs were talking about their colleague who says she has cancer but they believe she hasnt because she looks better than them, and they were saying that she wants to use it as a way for not coming to work and taking off. it got really sad when they had this conversation. that s who people think and judge. on another occasion we were having fun and i told to my close gf that 'for example, why should i keep saying i have pain", and she said maybe u like to go and see ur doctor, is he handsome?!! i felt miserable and alone ..... i have too much pain in my hands and arms now..

 
Old 02-06-2013, 02:48 AM   #6
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Re: Can anyone give me any thought, Please?

It sounds like you work with some pretty insensitive people. I'm glad you found these boards where you can get some understanding, people believe you and try to help. If you see a rheumatologist for the CTS and injections, ask him/her to check you for inflammatory conditions that may be contributing to the CTS, as it is sometimes a symptom of certain types of arthritis that cause a lot of pain.

 
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Old 02-18-2013, 04:17 AM   #7
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Re: Can anyone give me any thought, Please?

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Last edited by shahila; 03-18-2013 at 07:09 AM.

 
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