I've relapsed for 1 week - Smoking Cessation Message Board

Invincible · 02-01-2004, 11:21 PM

I feel I have let you and myself down ... I have been smoking all last week ... I was so stressed, my son has been such a pain in the butt .. I just flipped. I was so angry and I didn't know how to deal with it and the smoking kind of calmed me down.

I have an appointment with the hypnotherapist tomorrow, I've got to get this sorted.

I'm sorry to report the bad news, but 1 cigarette lead me to another and another.. I didn't stop.

To make it even worse, I have had to hide this smoking from my boyfriend (who gave up 1 week b4 me) ... it's been such a strain.

I wanted to tell you all earlier, but I felt so deeply ashamed to let you all down.

I'll report back tomorrow.

Deda · 02-02-2004, 10:10 AM

Hey Invinc--

You have not let us down. Of course we are sorry to hear this happened, but it does happen. I had a relapse 2 weeks ago. I bought a pack and smoked them up in 2 days. Nobody here got down on me or mad, they were all understanding, because we all know that this does happen. So quit beating yourself up over it and just figure out what you can do about it.

Do you have any patches left? They worked for you before and they can work for you again, Invince. Just finish up the pack you have right now and keep thinking, "this is my last pack forever and as soon as it runs out I'm back on the patch and I'll be fine, I'll be a nonsmoker again". Just pick up where you left off!! And keep posting to this board. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to leave this board yet. I think it helps to know that we have to keep coming back and reporting here. (At least 1 time a week) When your little guy was driving you crazy you should've come here and we might have been able to help you put things in a different perspective. I know how young children stress a mom out, I have 2 kids, they are grown, but boy do I remember how challenging it was at times!! (Even tho they were good kids I could of just skinned their hides sometimes!!!)

So just get yourself back on track Invince, I know you can because I did!!!!

And say prayers, as I will for you too!

Love,
DEDA
Want to hear from you again too...

smartgal · 02-02-2004, 10:13 AM

You only let yourself down. Don't worry about us!! I came close to joining you on Saturday. I asked if they had a single cigarette for sale. I was so stressed out. Fortunately he had just sold the last one. This really is a continuous struggle. Even though I feel 100 times better than I did when I smoked. It's just so easy to slip back in to old habits and say "what the heck, one cigarette won't hurt" or "I just really need it right now". Do you feel different since you've been smoking? Did it actually taste good? I know usually cigs taste nasty when you've quit for awhile. Do you think that part of it is the idea that you're doing something you aren't supposed to? Well, jump back on the wagon and welcome!

LL29 · 02-02-2004, 12:56 PM

Ah invinc - poor you - there's your pity party from me and now Laurie smacks Invinc upside da head. LMAO Now you can forgive yourself on start over now that I've smacked you a good one. Feel better now? LOL

I'm 74 days smoke free still and yes I've had tempting days but you have to go back to why it was you wanted to quit so bad. So Invinc - what were all the reasons you wanted to quit so bad? Tell them to us so we can remind you.

On the boards thing - I don't know - I think they're absolutely WONDERFUL in the first few weeks or month, but I do have to wonder if maybe continually discussing smoking after you've beat the nicotine and the habitual part of it - if maybe continuing on isn't hurting???? I'm just wondering.

I know I'm a strong sh** so I just fight any urges I have or debate myself out of them and move on to something else. Whatever works - find it! But I guess what I'm tryin to say Invinc - is figure out what it was that made you give in. Yes you were stressed, but you've been stressed before so what was going thru your head at the time? Did you just miss it? Were you craving? Did you not care about dying? What? Do tell so we can fix you and keep you fixed because even though you had a relapse does not mean you can't hop right back on track. We'll just take the days off that you smoked so you can get back on track. I don't care what anyone says about starting over - it's hard enough as it is let alone to not give you the smoke free days you've had so if you smoked for 7 days and were at 90 days then now you'll be at 83 since you'll be quitting any day now right?

#1 PICK A QUIT DATE and stick to it! Do not postpone it and I do feel bad for you that you're hiding it from bf BUT don't think you're foolin anyone because it can be smelled a mile away so you may think you're hiding it but he may know so realize that as well. Just quit again before it affects him as well.

And for guilty:
Now come on now guilty - we all know the first cig or first few puffs are enough to make you puke your guts out but yet the addiction of the whole thing makes you keep smoking and of course you're pumping nicotine (a drug) back into your system so of course the rush or whatever. Don't ask questions you already know the answer to because you're not smoking again so why discuss it. It's over - say your goodbye's and move on from it. Do not give it the time of day to reminisce on how it was, used to be, or how you want it to be, etc....

I know you're playing curious george - but even that is dangerous so Invinc - no need to answer that.

We're here for you so just think about why - explain - how you get back to where you left off and whala - you'll be back to a smoke free female forever. Let's not forget about your vanity reasons as well Invinc - all for nothing???? Come on and get bk on the right wagon

We still love ya and so does the little green boy LOL

Laurie

Invincible · 02-02-2004, 01:03 PM

Deda

Thank you so much for your kind words ... I was feeling so ashamed and guilty.

Yes, you're right, I'm going to finish this pack and that's it... and I'm going to come to this board every day (whenever I can anyway) and post for months on end.

I do now think it was a BIG mistake going it alone, I now realise how important the support from all you guys are.

I should've posted when I'd had my first one, coz I think I could've stopped then... but the guilt made me continue, and then the feelings of being ashamed and self loathing made me continue.

Yes, I have a few patches left, I'll stick one on tomorrow. Maybe I should just go cold turkey? Coz the patches really gave me rashes.

I think I'll go cold turkey, the toughest part is in the mind, not the body. I booked an appointment (i hour) with a hynotherapist who's going to help me with stress release ... hope that helps too.

Thanks again Deda, you are always such an angel! :-)

I'll be here VERY often!!!