Feeling mean - Smoking Cessation Message Board

Queen B · 02-06-2004, 07:32 AM

After having smoked a pack+ a day for 29 years. I have been smoke free for 12 days and nicotine free for 18 days. This whole process has come as a suprise to me. Was just sorta thinking about quitting you know how smokers do 3 or 4 times a year. I started with Quest cigs (a step down in nicotine with each level) just kinda thinking about quiting. My husband smokes also by the way. Stayed on the first level for about a week. Moved on to #2 for about 2 weeks then went to the third level which has no nicotine and just naturally wanted to smoke less (they tasted like nothing). Compared to a cold turkey quit I did about 10 years ago it was about 1/2 the mental pain. The key is not to commit to no cigs...just committ to smoking no other kind of cigs and move to another level on a day when you feel strong.
Here is my question though...for over a week I wake up feeling mean have no patience, short fuse. I also don't have energy want to sleep alot which was good in the beginning because when I slept I didn't crave. My husband is also trying to quit and has been less than supportive of me in my adventure. I think by my quitting I have forced him to try also and he is really mad about it. Lots of anger and tension in our house. I'm thinking I'm suffering from depression or something. How long does this last??? The cravings for cigs aren't that bad but if this turmoil continues in my house divorce may in the picture and I am wondering is it worth it. Obviously I am not thinking clearly right...I'm hoping this is all temporary and I'll wake up my old self. Does anybody have any suggestions or been through something similar??

Invincible · 02-06-2004, 08:18 AM

Smoking is often used as a smoke screen to hide how you feel. It may be worth both of you sitting down and talking through your relationship.

I know I had angry outburts when I gave up ... I was simmering away underneath about things that I felt resentlful about and stuff that frustrated me ... stuff that I would have run away from ... gone up to my bedroom and puffed away in avoidance of trouble ... somehow, without the cigarettes as my excuse to walk away, I had to face up to some of the stuff that got to me day in-day out etc...

I am on 77 days as a non-smoker .... I had a 1 week relapse in between due to having a frustrating situation blow up and up ... in the past, all these frustrating situations triggered the need to chain-smoke ..

so be warned about the potential dangers of not dealing with anger and stress...

Get some stress management/anger tapes .... that's a start, maybe sit down with your husband and talk about what it is that frustrates you both. You both need to be supporting each other right now.

Good luck. Stick with it!

smartgal · 02-06-2004, 09:52 AM

Instant PMS!! I had quite a few days of it. I'm slowly getting better. It helps to eat healthy, even though you may want bad stuff. Most of all, have patience with yourself! I had days when I was so bad, I didn't want to be around me, so I really understand. Your husband may just be having withdrawal too, so try to find something to do that won't be too stressful. Personally, I avoided talking about any serious stuff until my mood passed.

Queen B · 02-06-2004, 09:52 AM

Thanks, I think you may be on to something. My husband and myself both have alot of baggage. Could be that's what's coming through. I think maybe I should wait to discuss and bring out what our issues are because I really don't think I'm thinking clearly right now.

The cravings are tolerable right now just the anxiety and temper and I am hoping they go away soon. Smoking was a great time marker and passer and that is when I seem to want them the most...while I'm waiting for something or someone. Gotta keep busy. Also noticed a problem with clenching my teeth together in the morning when I wake up they are like that and also if I get stressed out during the day I will notice them clenched. Starting to hurt. May check with dentist cause I have heard of some kind of appliance but I just wondered if this has happend to anyone else?? Also chewing on cheek and lips... my whole mouth will be raw within a month!!! Do these crazy things go away???I have smoked since I was 15 or 16 and truely do not remember life without nicotine. Right now it is not fun but I'm hoping later on it will be. Alot of this memo is reaffirmation of what I already Know just helps sometimes to talk it out and know that your not the only one doing some really crazy things, "temporary things".

Invincible · 02-06-2004, 10:15 AM

Have you considered talking to a counsellor about your baggage?

Several years ago I did a lot of talk therapy ... b4 that, when I tried to give up smoking, it was impossible! I always needed a crutch .......... since that time, I have managed to resolve most of my childhood issues (and I suspect some of your baggage will be pre-teens/early teens) ......... somehow, giving up your crutch will bring a lot of your emotions to the surface ....

clenching the teeth, chewing the gums etc... are all substitutes for smoking and vice versa ... you got to work out what emotions you are surpressing by doing that.

I too smoked from when I was 14/15 ... am 40 now, and have given up for 77 days!

Good luck, resolve your issues and never ever smoke again.