Worried about my husband!!! - Smoking Cessation Message Board

rywilli25 · 09-14-2004, 12:11 PM

Hello everyone I am posting because i am worried about my husband. My husband has smoked since he was nine years old. He is 28 now. He has been trying to quit for three years now and is not suceeding. I myself smoked for 13 years and quit. On valentine's day it will be three years since my last cig. I quit cold turkey. he has tried everything. Nothing has helped. I am having a very hard time dealing with it. We have two kids, and my daughter has autism. I cant imagine not having him here anymore, and raising our kids alone. I get so mad at him and think that he cares more about the cigs than us. He puts off things with us just to have a cig. It makes me so angry and sad. His own mother buys his cigs for him, which i find absolutely ridiculous. I wish she would buy something to help him quit instead of supporting his habit. I am just so upset. This is causing so many problems with us. I dont know why i let it get to me so much. thanks for letting me vent!!!

Rochelle

seawater · 09-14-2004, 04:19 PM

I understand your feelings but it has to be his decision. You can’t make him quit. The more you pressure him, the more resentment he’ll feel. I don’t think this is a battle you can win.

Just try to keep in mind he’s not smoking to hurt you and the kids. You of all people should understand how addictive it is.

I would lay low for awhile and give him his space. To be honest I don’t see that you have a choice.

Tobias · 09-15-2004, 09:28 AM

I concur with seawater. You can't force a quit on someone and it only causes frustration on your part if you try. Make it clear to him how you feel; then stop. I know from experience that the harder someone would try to force me to quit, the deeper I dug in my heels. There's nothing so devoted as a smoker to his cigarettes.

Donna 2854 · 09-15-2004, 08:46 PM

Yeah, I agree too.. unfortunately, the addiction is so powerful that no amount of pleading and threatening will make him quit.

Kimianne · 09-16-2004, 07:36 AM

I am sorry to say that I agree.

Smoking is an addiction and if the smoker does not WANT to quit nothing is going to really work.

I feel for you. It is very hard to watch someone you care about doing something that puts them in danger.

Keep your chin up.