It's only been a few hours without a cig for me. But like you I also have severe anxiety and panic disorder and I smoke 7 cartons in 4 weeks as a rule. But now my stomach is hurting me all the time and I've cut out all my other bad things I was doing like 4 or 5 sodas a day on top of the cigs. I've also quit taking the tons of Advil I was taking (800mg 2 times a day). Cigs was the last thing I quit. I just can't take the pain anymore and want it to go away.
This stomach thing has scared me into reality. Last week I started feeling nauseated. Then it turned into a gnawing pain beneath my breast bone. It's constant. Feels pressure, it's worse when I bend down. Feels only slightly better with pepto or Maalox Max. No appetite (living on Ensure Plus atm). I'm on welfare because of my anxiety disorders so I cannot go to a doctor to get checked out. So I really need to start taking better care of myself and pray like heck it's not too late! I'm only 34.
Second scare...my step-sister (age 56) was just diagnosed with cancer on her lung. This is her second bout with cancer, the first was breast cancer. Last week she had the top right lobe removed. They found it in the lymphnodes as well. But they are saying it isn't lung cancer even though it was on the lung? Makes no sense. But I'm not a doctor. After she recovers from her surgery she faces chemo and radiation. That alone should be scary enough to get me to quit or at least TRY DANGIT!
I'm scared I'm not going to be able to keep this up. I'm afraid of how my body is going to rebel to the quitting (even though it's supposed to help in the long run) At the very least maybe I can cut WAY down and then stop. This is the longest I've gone without a cigarette in I don't know how many years. Earlier I found myself searching my bed frantically not even knowing why until it hit me...I was looking for my cigarettes! I stopped when I realized they weren't there and found myself even more freaked out that the habit is THAT subconcious and ingrained into me. How am I ever going to be able to do this. I'm kicking myself also because I KNEW BETTER when I started in my mid 20s. I thought, oh no big deal...I'll quit after four years. Then four years passed and five years and then I'd have a crisis and that was an excuse not to try and then my mom died and that was an excuse not to try....everything was an excuse not to try. And I became more and more addicted. Going from one carton a week to two, maybe even three. And I didn't even like it when I started, but my long time ex bf who smoked at the time, jerk that he was wanted me to become a smoker because he was one. Not blaming him. I could have just refused. But I was all insecure in wanting to keep him (so dumb).
Well, that's where I am. I hope this makes my stomach better
And good luck and continued success to you.
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