bevann--
Hi...I KNOW how you are feeling...want to quit so badly, but feel like it's out of your reach. I've been there, believe me..I've quit at least 10 times before! I smoked a pack to 2 packs a day for 30+ years, subtract a couple or 3 for those times I did quit. I think what I did wrong those 10 times I quit, but went back was, I was NOT 100% committed to NOT smoking the rest of my life. Truly, I think that's the whole reason I would relapse again and again. Now it's been almost 2 years next month since I quit, and believe me when I say, I feel so confident that I will never smoke again. I absolutely hate smoking now. I just got back from a weeks vacation, and spent 4 days in and out of the casinos in NV, and the smoking makes me sick now!!
Every time someone would light one up in my aisle, I would soon cash out my machine and split! I was annoyed as hell, but I had to keep reminding myself, that for 30 years I was just as bad and had the same problem. Bev, I KNOW that you can quit smoking. You may not know that right now, but I do. That's because I know how hard it was for me, how much I truly loved smoking, how I really wasn't "ready" to quit. Yes, I was motivated the day I quit, but I really don't think the 100% committment part didn't really kick in until AFTER I quit. As time went along, my committment just grew, and still does. There were times, (many) in the past that I quit with the gum, the patch, and still I couldn't do it...so please don't brush those off by saying they didn't work for you,...maybe, (most likely) you just weren't in the right mindset yet. I really worked at changing the way I thought about smoking/quitting. I kept telling myself how badly I wanted to be free from it, how I wanted to live a healthier life, a longer life, how much I hated the fact that I smoked, and envied everyone who was able to quit, etc., etc. I came to this board daily, starting about a month or 2 before I even quit, and started reading tons of posts to pysche (?) myself up mentally, (the right mindset), I bought a month's supply of patches, prayed daily, started walking daily, and just did it! I came to this board a lot too. I still do a lot of those things, and it works for me, obviously. You have to find what works for you, Bev.
I know that if you REALLY want to quit, then you can and will do it. You can quit now, and start working on your determination as you go along. Just do it girl!! It's not easy at first for any of us. Don't expect anything good to come easy. I accepted the fact beforehand, that I would have to suffer and sacrifice somewhat...that's just the way it is. Fortunately, with the patches, my physical suffering wasn't too bad, but the mental stuff was more my job. God bless and take care. We're here if you need help!
Deda
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