becksA

I smoked heavily through most of college, averaging a pack per day of newport fulls....from roughly 2001-2003. When I left there and came home for school, nobody in my family smokes, so I took that as an opportunity, and quit cold turkey. Did not have so much as a puff for about 2 years after that. Unfortunately I ran into a girlfriend that smoked. One night after drinks we got to talking to her friend, and it was a newport. I'm sure you can all understand how I felt, especially being out at the bar drinking. I begged for just one puff, and wow did that feel great. Anyway, it has been a steady but very slow decline since then.
At this point I'm all over the place, and that is what I cannot understand. I'm still living with my parents and am fortunate to rarely be around it. Nobody at my job smokes..

Here's my current status: I obviously try and keep it as little as possible. I generally go all day without a cigarette, and then when nighttime comes around, it must be a subconscious thing, I start to get stir crazy and feel like I need to get out on the town. Sometimes I think it's just because when I do, I end up smoking. If I go to the bar, I'll smoke 10 or so cigs, but the next day if I don't do anything, I'll just have 1 right before bed....sometimes not even feeling the cravings, it's more just a feeling of I HAVE to simply because my day is not complete with at least one smoke.

I rambled, but can anybody relate? I feel like I'm close to being able to quit because I wake up like today and yes, a cigarette does sound nice, but by no means will I be going out for one until at least tonight.

Thanks for reading!