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Old 03-09-2007, 06:07 AM   #1
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mangojunky HB User
grief?

I was wondering if anyone out there has experienced this.....
I have found that the excitement of not smoking has worn off, and I am experiencing the grief of loss. It's like the reality has set in - I won't be smoking anymore - and let me tell you, I enjoyed my cigs at certain times. It almost feels like grief - like losing someone.

I do not have thoughts of starting. I KNOW that it's not what I want. I just try and shake these feelings off. I realize it's foolish-but what an addiction!

deb

 
Old 03-09-2007, 06:38 AM   #2
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tampaquit HB User
Re: grief?

Honey I am right there with you! I am two weeks quit last night. It has been a VERY stressful week, my boys are vacationing overseas, haven't heard from them, I have their dog and their cat and my two cats plus one more son here, clients from out of town, everyone wants a piece of my time, and I would like to smoke a cigarette. And like you said, I'm sad that I can't. I am ecstatic that I have made it this far. But it's like the stages of grieving I guess. Even my plants outside are dying because that was my routine, to smoke outside and I could water the plants, keep an eye on things, etc. Well I'm not going out there anymore. So, I'm in the same boat as I am sure other's are too and it will pass. I don't have the urges like OMG I have to have one, just passing thoughts of, a cig would taste good right now.

I have been quit for 2 Weeks, 12 hours, 38 minutes and 33 seconds (14 days). I have saved $61.00 by not smoking 406 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 9 hours and 50 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 2/22/2007 9:00 PM

 
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Old 03-09-2007, 08:37 AM   #3
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True Brit HB User
Talking Re: grief?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mangojunky View Post
I was wondering if anyone out there has experienced this.....
I have found that the excitement of not smoking has worn off, and I am experiencing the grief of loss. It's like the reality has set in - I won't be smoking anymore - and let me tell you, I enjoyed my cigs at certain times. It almost feels like grief - like losing someone.

I do not have thoughts of starting. I KNOW that it's not what I want. I just try and shake these feelings off. I realize it's foolish-but what an addiction!

deb
YES, YES AND YES

An empty, lonely feeling that absolutely nothing fills. Take heart Mangojunky this really will pass. I actually wondered if life would ever seem enjoyable and complete again and little by little things are returning to normal. I notice,also that you have reduced your meds. When I reduced mine by a third I had a sort of empty anxious feeling for a few days. Next Monday I am reducing to 0.5mg twice a day and plan to start a thread to discuss side effects of withdrawal from Chantix. Friends who have been quit a year or more say they sufferered that "loss of a friend" syndrome but that now they genuinely dislike everthing about smoking. Hang in there and whatever you do don't let nicodemon win you over. WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER

 
Old 03-09-2007, 08:44 AM   #4
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Skimmer HB User
Re: grief?

Tampaquit, Truebrit and Mango - yeah, I had that going on during my first few days of quit. There were times when you actually enjoyed the cig, like after work on a Friday night with a cold one, to celebrate getting thru the work week. Or going on a vacation, somehow, that was always a trigger for me too. I think when I eventually DO go on vacation, it will be weird too - because that's what I used to do - was smoke all the dang time on vacation!

I am very happy to be smoke-free, and I congratulate you all for getting this far. There will be rough roads ahead, but I think we can all make it thru the tough times if we stick together. I cried alot that first week, it was like losing a friend, but you're gaining a healthier rest of your life....

Tampaquit - hope the kids get home safely tonight.....

 
Old 03-09-2007, 09:43 AM   #5
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shyoneforty HB User
Re: grief?

I know what you mean about the grief, I miss smoking because it was such an integral part of my life. It was there (and still is sometimes in new situations) in everything I was doing, it just seemed that everything was a trigger and that I had to re educate myself. Almost start life over again and build a history of events that were smoke free as a reference point. I hope the feelings of loss pass for you soon.

Carl

 
Old 03-09-2007, 12:06 PM   #6
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Mrsdew HB User
Re: grief?

AHHHHHHHHHH yes, i have the feeling i am losing my best friend. Somthing that's there for me at all times, but a friend who is a harmful one.

It's normal to feel like that. A little bit of being down is also part of withdrawrals. Tuesday on Day 9 i wanted to be around NOBODY, i went to lay down at 5:30 pm and just wanted to be by myself.

HANG IN THERE YOUR DOING GREAT>

Quote:
Originally Posted by mangojunky View Post
I was wondering if anyone out there has experienced this.....
I have found that the excitement of not smoking has worn off, and I am experiencing the grief of loss. It's like the reality has set in - I won't be smoking anymore - and let me tell you, I enjoyed my cigs at certain times. It almost feels like grief - like losing someone.

I do not have thoughts of starting. I KNOW that it's not what I want. I just try and shake these feelings off. I realize it's foolish-but what an addiction!

deb

 
Old 03-09-2007, 12:07 PM   #7
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mangojunky HB User
Re: grief?

It helps to know that I am not alone. More and more each day I appreciate the people on this board.

I will stay strong and have faith!
deb

 
Old 03-09-2007, 01:40 PM   #8
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Kevin__ HB User
Re: grief?

Deb,

You are definitely not alone. I too have those feelings every once in awhile. I feel like I miss a way of life that used to bring me a lot of pleasure. Unfortunately that way of life was killing me slowly, day by day.

I am trying to look at it this way. When one door closes, another one opens. I closed the door on my smoking life. Then I opened the door to my new no-smoking life. Either I can spend all my time looking back on the "good old times", or I can look forward to new experiences. Something good to fill the void left from past smoking.

I really think what TrueBrit stated is right on. Eventually life will return to "normal". Now to this day, I am STILL not sure what normal is any more, but I'm pretty sure I'll get there.

Some one once told me that when you lose some one, your life changes, and it will never be the same again. So you learn to make a new life, and you make it the very best you can.

Be good to yourself...

Kevin__

 
Old 03-09-2007, 03:39 PM   #9
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sunstar1946 HB User
Re: grief?

I think this is quite possibly the best posts I've read on here! Maybe because at this stage of my non-smoking, I've been having the same sort of feelings, and couldn't put a finger on what it was. I'm on day 18, and haven't really had any problems. I've been so lucky to be able to quit without pills or patches, just the cd I listened to. but every now and then, I do have that feeling of loss. Not that I want to run out and have a cigarette, but the feeling that something is missing. I guess that's what it is, grief.
Thanks to everyone who posted here, it's very helpful.
and Congratulations to everyone, you are all fantastic

 
Old 03-09-2007, 03:46 PM   #10
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tampaquit HB User
Re: grief?

Gee Kevin, I might make your last paragraph my mantra or something. That was very moving and very accurate. It does get a little easier each day, and I don't think about it as much, I find myself thinking I am so excited to be driving my car and NOT smoking, or worrying when someone gets in that it smells like smoke. And then occasionally get sad because I can't go out and have one. But if I look at it as making a new and different life, that sounds nicer!

 
Old 03-09-2007, 09:54 PM   #11
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Memaw649 HB User
Re: grief?

I too felt the loss of a friend for the first couple of week in my quit. My "friend" was alway there for me. It helped to console me when I was down. It helped me celebrate. It was there for me when I was bored. When I accomplished something, it was there. It was there for me in every aspect of my life...the good and the bad.
But I got to thinking, what kind of "friend" will ruin your health? What kind of "friend" will slowly kill you? I got over my mourning very fast after that!!

But I guess it is very normal at first to think like that.

Memaw

 
Old 03-09-2007, 10:00 PM   #12
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wailana HB User
Re: grief?

I'm sorry for your grief, Mangojunky. I'm giving you a big hug! I had those thoughts when I tried quitting in the past or when I was about to. I haven't felt that way this time around, yet, however, I know sooner or later, the sadness will come and I'm hoping to embrace the feeling and let it go. So, feel those feelings, the memories everything, then say goodbye and let go. I'm happy to hear that you know that you're not alone having this feeling. Take care and be strong.

~~Realize: the decisions are up to you.~~
Wailana - Free and Healing for One Month, One Day, 10 Hours and 14 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 1 Day, by avoiding the use of 294 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $76.31.

 
Old 03-09-2007, 10:01 PM   #13
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wailana HB User
Re: grief?

I'm sorry for your grief, Mangojunky. I'm giving you a big hug! I had those thoughts when I tried quitting in the past or when I was about to. I haven't felt that way this time around, yet, however, I know sooner or later, the sadness will come and I'm hoping to embrace the feeling and let it go. So, feel those feelings, the memories everything, then say goodbye and let go. I'm happy to hear that you know that you're not alone having this feeling. Take care and be strong.

~~Realize: the decisions are up to you.~~
Wailana - Free and Healing for One Month, One Day, 10 Hours and 14 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 1 Day, by avoiding the use of 294 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $76.31.

 
Old 03-10-2007, 03:33 AM   #14
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CTYankee HB User
Re: grief?

This post really helped me. Yesterday I felt empty and missed smoking for the first time since I quit 110 days ago.

 
Old 03-10-2007, 04:17 AM   #15
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mangojunky HB User
Re: grief?

Yesterday afternoon I did some web surfing about nicotine and depression, and found a site with pictures of people in their 30's who died from lung cancer. These photos were taken in the hospital right before they died. I must say that my grief left quickly, and I was very happy about leaving cigs behind. I know it's going to be a long journey, but that really put things in perspective for me.
Have a great day everyone!
deb

 
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