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Old 03-29-2007, 09:39 PM   #1
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Southaven, Mississippi
Posts: 679
Memaw649 HB User
Nico Demon's funeral

Hey everyone,
Sara is gonna bury that ole Nico Demon. She posted this on another thread:
"Anyone who wants to write a eulogy...in the "done me wrong" theme...post it here and I will read it at old Nico Demon's funeral. ....Sara"

I thought this deserved a new thread. So here goes:

Nicodemon,
When I first met you, I was just 13 or 14 years old. You knew I was too young for you. But you kept after me anyway. So that by the time I was 17, you were in my life every day for the next 40 years!! You knew what you were doing to me. Filling my lungs with your toxins. Causing all kinds of health problems. I kept chronic bronchitis all the time. I would cough and wheeze, all because of you! You stunk up my house, my clothes, my hair, my whole being. You kept me from going places that you were not welcome. You killed my dear beloved aunt with your lung cancer and her son, my cousin, with mouth and throat cancer. You contributed to my mom's death of an abdominal aneurysm. You are truly evil. And I'm glad you are no longer in my life. Good riddance to bad rubbish!!

Memaw

 
Old 03-29-2007, 10:13 PM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Collinsville, Illinois
Posts: 58
DeadFish HB User
Re: Nico Demon's funeral

Thanks for a great idea. Its good for me to read this again!

Actually, this is my 'Goodbye Cigs' letter, but suitable sentiments:

Goodbye Smoke!

I hope that this is the last time you will hear from me.

We have had one of the longest relationships in my life together. You teamed up with me when I was still learning to shave, and were with me through all the adventures and foibles I took on as I became a man. Together we struck out in many directions, with my 'twenty little buddies' in my pocket, ready to help reinforce my 'self', any way I chose. For good or ill.
You were there with me when I felt good, or when I felt bad. You were my friends when I felt I had none I could talk to.
In the beginning, you were easy and cheap like a hippie chick.

But things have changed.
I've grown up and grown older. I realize that your support was only an illusion when I had no confidence. I have confidence now.
While I thought you were the friend to complete the way I was, I realize that you kept me from being more without you.
Now that I'm older, I realize you helped take my money, my taste buds, my health, when I did not have to give them away.
I am winded now, with your 'help' and I could have been as healthy as my peers.
Your cost has never stopped; I could have bought many things with what you cost me.
The cost you would continue on me, could cost me my life, if it hasn't already.

It doesn't matter now, what is done is done. What does matter is that I harness the best part of myself to say goodbye to you, and turn my back forever.
You sit on the shelf, and look at your days as numbered as people realize there really is no good in you. Take your death and peddle it in hell.

I'm going to be better without you. I will smell better and I will smell things better. I will taste things better. I will know I am better, no matter how limited my days. In leaving you behind, I will find I am stronger of will than I ever thought possible, except in those halcyon days of youth, when I still knew you were no good for me. Maybe when you are gone, I can learn about him again.

Goodbye.
Don't look back.
You've had your way and now I'll have mine.

DeadFish

 
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Old 03-30-2007, 10:17 AM   #3
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: South Bend, IN
Posts: 94
SiiouteSapphire HB User
Re: Nico Demon's funeral

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara29 View Post
Well, Nico....I thought you were my friend...the longest companion I've ever had, always there when often others weren't. Now I know the truth....you lured me in when I was a teenager...when I didn't know better...got me hooked on the excitement of sneaking around. Little did I know I was really getting hooked in other ways. Increasingly in the past 15-20 years, I've been keeping myself only with you since others, much wiser than I, didn't like you or want you at their house/restaurant/store/car/truck/etc.,/etc. In the 44+ years you've been with me, I've tried to quit you at least 20 times. Last fall I decided that, no matter what, if I had to quit my job to do it, I was going to quit you once and for all in March 2007. Then a friend told me of a new drug...chantix...that was really supposed to help. So I found a doctor, and for the 1st time in many years, got a prescription. Have become health conscious, using only vitamins, herbs, alternative treatments for many years. But, Nico, I've been amazed at the power you've had over me. I needed help getting you out of what is left of my life ONCE AND FOR ALL !!!!! So I'm on the chantix and my desire for you decreases each day. I WILL BE RID OF YOU....DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK OF YOU, Nico Demon. Have been trying to think of the best place to BURY YOU...not in the garden....you might damage some of the flowers and veggies. Not in the woods...you might damage the plants or animals. Then I thought of the PERFECT place for you.....NICO DEMON YOU WILL BE BURIED IN THE HOLE IN THE OLD OUTHOUSE. So, while I deal with the aftermath of being with you all those years....this doctor says I have the big "E"......I'll know that you are where you belong. You done me wrong, Nico Demon....BEGONE !!!!!!!.....Sara
Dear SARA, FISH, and MEMAW,

The above letter speak for me as well. I would write more but I am crying now after reading what you all wrote. I will write later. Your letters really touched me.

Sapphire

 
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