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Old 04-12-2007, 09:18 AM   #1
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Trish M&M HB User
Rough Week

Hi All: I've have a rough week and wanna vent. I've been on vacation since 4/6/07 and will return on 4/17/07. Had a lot to do around the house and have gotten quite a bit accomplished -- and that makes me feel good. However, I've thought more about smoking - and wanted to smoke - this week than I have the entire 2 months I've been quit. The wanting to smoke hasn't been horrible -- but I've wanted to.....every day, many times a day. This has to do with so many things I'm doing around the house have always been associated with smoking. Clean a closet...smoke a cigarette; clean a drawer....smoke a cigarette -- you get the picture. I even wondered at one point if I really would smoke one if I had it. I decided I wouldn't. Maybe this is just one of those things I've had to go thru and get thru like other things that are behind me (cigarette w/ coffee, cigarette after meal, etc.) In other words, the next time I clean closets, maybe I won't have all these thoughts of smoking just like I no longer thing about coffee and cigarettes.

I'd be interested in hearing what you all think. Thanks!

 
Old 04-12-2007, 10:43 AM   #2
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True Brit HB User
Re: Rough Week

Hi Trish
I went through this in my 3rd month and then again in France last week. It is just a normal nicodemon trick, trust me, and poke him in the eye. He will go away and the positive feeling will return. Ask yourself how many people who quit 5 years ago still want to smoke. They don't and neither will you as long as you hang in there.

 
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Old 04-12-2007, 10:51 AM   #3
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DeadFish HB User
Re: Rough Week

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trish M&M View Post
Maybe this is just one of those things I've had to go thru and get thru like other things that are behind me
Hi Trish!
I'd like to think it is what you said that I quoted.
We have to build up a new set of habits to replace the old that keep popping up. It takes time and perseverance to be certain!
I do know what you mean though.
I still think about having one at least several times a day, and usually it is one of those 'reward' things ("finish a drawer, have a smoke"). I really think though that it isn't the cigarette itself I want, but that feeling/mindset I had when the cigarette experiences were optimum, like when we were younger.
I'm personally still amazed I've remained 'quit' all this time!
If it makes you feel any better, since 4/6, I've had my 'acid test' for smoking, as my wife had a complete hysterectomy, and I've been chief nurse since she got home. Well, I'm the only one here!
Nothing makes one want a smoke more than being at someone else's beck-and-call, and then getting a few moments break, before the next catastrophe!
Ayup, I've thought about smoking more than once... especially when the kindest mate you could ever know whirls her head around a couple of times and accuses you of scrimping on her pain meds!
I'm good for now, but I think this 'recovery' from smoking will be a long term thing for me, with a whole lot of old habits to be forgotten and replaced.
If I can sit in a hospital for a whole day and not have a cigarette, I think I can get through ANYthing!
Next time you want one Trish, go do something fun instead. That'll teach you.
Best Regards,
DeadFish

 
Old 04-12-2007, 04:43 PM   #4
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Kevin__ HB User
Re: Rough Week

Hi Trish,

I've felt the same from time to time. There are occasions when I do something else really good. At that time I want to "reward" myself. Unfortunately there are times when I want to "reward" myself with a cigarette. It sounds crazy, but that was the way I USED to reward myself.

Now here you are, on vacation, doing great things around the house, and missing out on that old "cigarette reward". (Oh lord, especially during vacation - groan...) When you have spent that many years "rewarding" yourself with cigarettes during vacations and after successfully completing big tasks, it is no wonder that all you are thinking about smoking.

NICODEMON ALERT!!!

I don't know about you, but I have been trying awfully hard to find other ways to reward myself. Anything!!! Go for Starbucks coffee and read the paper or a good book. Go for ice cream. Go window shopping. Go for a walk along a real pretty block of homes. Browse around one of those expensive furniture stores. (Leave the Visa at home now...) Go buy pretty flowers to spruce up all those accomplishments you've achieved around the house. When I finish spending the whole day cleaning house, I'll deliberately go out and pick up some fresh flowers. For me it's like the cherry on top of the icing. Especially the ones that smell real nice where the aroma pervades the house. I know that sounds crazy, but even when I smoked, I would NOT light up with fresh flowers in the house. (They always shriveled up and died when I did that - Gee!!! I wonder why...)

Come on Trish, no more dancing with nicodemon. That IS torture... You have GOT to enjoy your time off while on vacation!!! Go have some fun! Fish is right, "We have to build up a new set of habits to replace the old that keep popping up.". Some one once said on this site that when they got a craving like that they "just got up and left the situation".

It sure is good to hear back from you, and that you took the time to vent. Nice to know we're not alone, and that what we are feeling is "normal", that's for sure.

Kevin__

 
Old 04-12-2007, 04:50 PM   #5
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Kevin__ HB User
Re: Rough Week

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeadFish View Post
Hi Trish!
If it makes you feel any better, since 4/6, I've had my 'acid test' for smoking, as my wife had a complete hysterectomy, and I've been chief nurse since she got home. Well, I'm the only one here!
Nothing makes one want a smoke more than being at someone else's beck-and-call, and then getting a few moments break, before the next catastrophe!
Ayup, I've thought about smoking more than once... especially when the kindest mate you could ever know whirls her head around a couple of times and accuses you of scrimping on her pain meds!

Whoa Fish...


You HAVE been through the wringer. Hang in there buddy. Hope your wife is feeling better. Sounds like she is having a rough time too. Wish you both the very best and congratulations on having survived the "acid test". The name fits...

Kevin__

 
Old 04-12-2007, 05:17 PM   #6
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DeadFish HB User
Re: Rough Week

Thanks Kevin!
As long as I keep the pain meds on-schedule, the wife is mostly manageable.
She doesn't even want me bringing up those cigarettes she is not smoking either, as she didn't quit when I did. She stopped smoking at home, but we-with-better-than-smoker noses knew that was going to come up and rear its ugly head. So, the poor dear doesn't even realize entirely what is making her so miserable, as if the missing parts and incision weren't enough.
An amusing aside, when we went to get the staples out a couple of days ago was that the nurse doing so told us "we tell all the smokers that are going to go through this procedure to quit smoking for 2 weeks before the operation and for at least 2 weeks after!"
Heh! Like THAT is ever gonna happen with a smoker like I was?
I'm doing about 'normal' for my quit all told. Wife keeps me too busy to think hard on it.
And while we are on the subject, I think you and I have our quit day in common but how about your Chantix-quit day? That's coming up fast, as I'm into my last week.
I've missed a dose or two through the ordeal, and didn't really have any effects I noticed, so I'm going for the 'screeching halt' as opposed to the tapering off thing. Now THAT might make for a 'rough week'!
Talked with my doc the other day about it, and he told me to give it a go and to give him a hollar if it got too ugly.
(but he didn't give me his home phone number! )
Wishing us both 'luck' as the Chantix Experience passes!

Best Regards,
DeadFish

 
Old 04-12-2007, 10:46 PM   #7
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Memaw649 HB User
Re: Rough Week

Trish,
You've done very good for 2 months. I'm still going through my "firsts" and I will have been quit for 8 month on Saturday. After I do something for the first time since I quit smoking, the next time is easier.

Why not reward yourself with healthful snack break instead of a cigarette break? I used to do that. I would sit down and eat some peanuts or yogurt or carrots or apple or orange, etc. I use to love my peanut break. (I needed them anyway for the constipation!)

Years ago I found myself in the habit of picking of a book and reading it ALL DAY LONG and not getting anything else done. Nothing. Nada. So I had to make a bargain with myself. I couldn't read until I did my work. The reading was my reward for doing the work. Find something to reward yourself with after a job well done.

Good Luck to you!!


Hey DeadFish,
I was wondering where you were.
Congratulations on making it through a very stressful situation and not giving in to Nicodemon. Well done!! Here's you a BIG PAT ON THE BACK!!! You deserve it!
Hope you wife gets along alright. I had that done when I was 40 years old. Not a fun thing to go through. I was VERY weepy afterwards. My hubby, bless his heart, didn't quite know how to react to me. Whatever he did wasn't right. It really was. I just didnt like to be waited on!! I couldn't stand that. Wanted to do it myself.
Good Luck to you!! You're doing soooo good!

Memaw

 
Old 04-13-2007, 05:36 AM   #8
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Liamsmom HB User
Re: Rough Week

Fish I hope your wife's recovery is a speedy one.

I myself am going through a really LONG DRAGGED OUT divorce and dealing w/ an alcoholic ex and a really angry 5 yr old, and had to move back in with (scary music please) MY MOM the fact that I haven't committed momocide,childocide, or extremelystupiddrunkexhusbandocide. is in fact the biggest miracle. The bigger miracle is that I haven't smoked through any of this not even one slip. I figure I'm already feeling mighty low about my situation and don't want to give up the one thing I'm completely proud of myself for. I guess we all forget how stinkin strong we can be when it's needed. If you had all day I'd tell yah about the last 5 yrs.

Trish perhaps if you just rearranged your thoughts instead say to yourself I got through that without a cig and stop and pat your self on the back. good luck keep up the strong work.

 
Old 04-13-2007, 07:15 AM   #9
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DeadFish HB User
Re: Rough Week

Thanks for the kind thoughts, ladies!
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger' is a great old Nietzche quote (if I remember right) we can all use once in a while, and I'm getting stronger every day.
Remember that one, Liamsmom. I can relate to you because when my uncontested divorce happened almost 15 years ago, my ex had an *** for a lawyer who stretched it over 4 years, and I moved back in with MY mom.
Sheesh! They didn't make the right meds for that depression! Not the direction I thought my life was supposed to go...but, my point is that not only did I get through it, but I learned 'life-lessons' I didn't even know I was supposed to be getting. I ended up a better person than I thought I was going in, but I'm just trying to overlay the idea of quitting cigarettes at that time, and I'm afraid something would have had to die...
I know the one thing that kept my eye on the prize was knowing my 8 year old was watching the whole debacle.
I liked the idea of 'rearranging thoughts' as a reward protocol.
In my life-long pursuit of philosophy and understanding, I learned a trick to turning things on their head, like reversing words in a sentence, that makes clarity come out. Sounds like a clever use to beat the Demon!
Oh, oH! I have discovered a reward I really like that MIGHT help some of you and that is some of the 'sugar-free' chocolate things out there. I'm a relatively new diabetic in the last year and REALLY hated giving up chocolate, but they have really improved the work with chocolate! I found a pseudo-Mounds substitute that I can let melt in my mouth for about as long as a cigarette used to take.

And finally, yes Memaw, we get lots of 'weepy', but were getting a lot of that before the operation as the HRT experiments weren't working well.
Between my fore-mentioned divorce and here, my wife and I have held hands and wept our fair share, and look how strong we are getting to be!!

Hang in there Liamsmom! You hang on to what you can be proud of! Nobody can take that away from you but you!

Best Regards, Ladies!
DeadFish

 
Old 04-13-2007, 07:52 AM   #10
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Trish M&M HB User
Re: Rough Week

Thanks, all of you, for your support and suggestions. You all are the GREATEST and I mean that sincerely! I'm not at all sure I could have come this far without all of you. And you know what's interesting? I vented to you about my rough week and I've felt better ever since. Just being able to sit at my computer and type out what's going on is so helpful to me. And just as helpful - probably more helpful - is my beforehand knowledge that the people reading what I've said are gonna totally and completely understand.

I have to admit, tho, that when I realize what others are having to deal with (a sick spouse, a divorce, etc.) that my "urges" after cleaning out a damn closet seem extremely insignificant. I'd like to think I'd be as strong as those of you who are dealing with "real" difficulties. My very best to you as you go thru the quitting process while, at the same time, having to handled far more than a closet or dresser drawer.

I am - and always will be - eternally grateful for this forum and for the dear people who are here to support each other in our quitting process.

Thank you again!!

 
Old 04-13-2007, 09:30 AM   #11
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Memaw649 HB User
Re: Rough Week

Trish,
Your problems are just as real as anyone's. We hit spots that make up want to light up, no matter where the stress comes from. Your feelings matter just as much as anyone else's. Just remember to stay strong. You know we are all pulling for you!! Glad you could come here and vent. You've shown others that what they are feeling is so normal. Makes us not feel so alone in this quest to stay smoke free.

Memaw

Last edited by Memaw649; 04-14-2007 at 12:02 AM.

 
Old 04-13-2007, 10:52 AM   #12
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DeadFish HB User
Re: Rough Week

Trish!
What Memaw said!!
*Every* problem moment quitting is as important as the next!
It's those darned little ones that sneak all over our days and nights, catching us in matter-of-fact ways that can make us despair and feel like we ought to give up. Anyone can climb out of a train-wreck or jump off the Titanic without grabbing their pocket for a lighter, but the day to day living is what always trips me up. The bleak moments alone, like sleepless in the night are the most real...
I swear, an hour ago, I had a 'run' to WalMart, and while pulling in looking for a parking spot, I saw a guy leave the store, stop and light up ...and I realized I inhaled with him doing it. I didn't want it, but there was that thought.
I'm 100% behind you on the the 'support' notion of coming in here. I don't know if Chantix alone would have gotten me quit without coming in here to read, rant, vent and relate. That notion that folks here really know what you are going through (as opposed to your doctor nodding his head, knowingly) has been absolutely priceless.
We all span from smoke-crisis to smoke-crisis and the tools and ways learned in here make it all possible.

And thank YOU, Trish for sharing!
You are making me think twice about cleaning out the closets and drawers

Warmest Regards,
DeadFish

 
Old 04-13-2007, 12:12 PM   #13
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Trish M&M HB User
Re: Rough Week

Hi Dead Fish: Thank you!

BTW: don't hesitate to clean out your drawers - the underwear type....just stay away from the dresser type

 
Old 04-14-2007, 12:36 AM   #14
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True Brit HB User
Re: Rough Week

I have just had BIG TIME stress with a bunch of French Builders who didn't even turn up half the time. It was so hard at first but by the end of the week I think my brain knew that no nicotine was forthcoming and gave up demanding it. I did, however, learn the fine art of swearing in French in a very loud voice. I reckon the men thought I was a mad woman and they knuckled down and got on with it. I also told them not to smoke their "gauloises" near me!!!!

 
Old 04-14-2007, 12:50 AM   #15
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Re: Rough Week

DeadFish, oh how I can relate to what you said about the man stopping and lighting up. Everyone at work smokes, and they are still asking me if they can help by giving me a cigarette. Everyone in my personal life does not and have never smoked, so they just say what's the big deal. You used to smoke and now you don't, deal with it.
In here people know what it is to smoke and how hard it is to quit...priceless.

 
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