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Old 05-29-2007, 08:08 AM   #1
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texas1107 HB User
I want to quit/ I don't want to quit.

I am 38 years old, have smoked for 26 of those. I enjoy smoking. I don't know why, but, I do.
I want to quit, because, I'm tired of smelling like smoke, chewing gum to cover the cigarette smell and using hand sanitizer all the time so that my hands don't smell either. Also the migraines and the palpitations that I take meds for that may or may not lessen with quitting.
My husband was told in December that his throat tissue was already changing and that if he didn't quit, he would undoubtedly have cancer within a year or two. He's 43. He stopped smoking after 34 years of heavy smoking that day and has been smoke free for almost 7 months now. He doesn't get on to me or anything, but, I feel guilty for smoking when he can't. I really enjoy it, plain and simple. Other than a few drags, I have not had a whole cigarette since Sunday morning about 9am.
At home, it isn't too bad, I can get through not having one because of hubby being there and I won't smoke around him, plus, we stopped smoking in the house 18 years ago because of health issues with my son.
Now, when I'm at work. Totally different story!! I promoted to managing a small business that I am the only one here 10 hours a day, Monday - Saturday. It is very boring right now because it is small and not a lot to offer yet. I have back door that I can go out and smoke and still see if there are any customers coming in and be at my desk before they come through the front door. I am having an extremely difficult time right now. I took a few drags just now, and am feeling guilty, but, also, happy. What is wrong with me? I have not will power whatsoever!!!

Last edited by texas1107; 05-29-2007 at 08:09 AM.

 
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Old 05-29-2007, 08:33 AM   #2
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Noni33 HB User
Re: I want to quit/ I don't want to quit.

Hi Texas, The want has to be really strong, my reason for quitting was I wanted to do it on my own and not down the line have a doctor to tell me I have to quit. I have been using Chantix and it is really working for me. Up and down days. More up though. They tell you to find your trigger and believe you me I found mine yerterday "BOREDOM" I would have give anything for one, but I just couldn't cave. Today I feel wonderful (Go Figure).
You do sound like you want to quit so give it a shot and I think you might surprise yourself. Let me know what you decide.
Good luck

Noni33

 
Old 05-29-2007, 08:34 AM   #3
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Fibrana HB User
Re: I want to quit/ I don't want to quit.

Hi,

Like you said, you enjoy smoking, so it's no wonder you don't want to quit. For some people, it is not until they have bad health problems, that they can really do it.

I smoked for over 26 years, but then was not really enjoying them. Had a constant sore throat and low voice. I've quit almost 8 weeks, but have cheated a little. I'm finding it so hard to quit. Don't want to go back to a full-time smoker again.

Do throat tissues change? That's kind of scary because that is what I noticed with myself. My tonsils were constantly swollen. Never got it checked out though.

Best of luck to you. When you are ready, you will do it.

 
Old 05-29-2007, 08:47 AM   #4
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texas1107 HB User
Re: I want to quit/ I don't want to quit.

I do want to quit so that I can breathe better and not feel so sluggish all the time. I know that it is my mind telling me that I want just one more.Thank you both
How do you get through the boredom without having a drag? I keep thinking, one drag won't hurt anything. I know that is the wrong thing to be thinking, but, I really want that drag, but, then I feel guilt over it for not letting the craving go.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Fibrana View Post
Hi,

Like you said, you enjoy smoking, so it's no wonder you don't want to quit. For some people, it is not until they have bad health problems, that they can really do it.

I smoked for over 26 years, but then was not really enjoying them. Had a constant sore throat and low voice. I've quit almost 8 weeks, but have cheated a little. I'm finding it so hard to quit. Don't want to go back to a full-time smoker again.

Do throat tissues change? That's kind of scary because that is what I noticed with myself. My tonsils were constantly swollen. Never got it checked out though.

Best of luck to you. When you are ready, you will do it.
Dh went to an EN&T last December because he couldn't eat without choking. He went through so many test it's sickening, but, the first thing that was checked, throat cancer. The tissue was changing in texture and color. That 2 weeks of testing really scared us both. He was able to stop, I was not. I stressed over all of it so bad, that , a cigarette was all I wanted. Luckily, it was a motility disorder and not cancer. He still has a lot of trouble eating ,but, it isn't cancer and he isn't dying!!!! If you feel you are having trouble with your throat, it is always best to have it checked!

Last edited by texas1107; 05-29-2007 at 08:52 AM.

 
Old 05-29-2007, 08:58 AM   #5
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Fibrana HB User
Re: I want to quit/ I don't want to quit.

Yeah, that's scary about the throat.

I've been sneaking the odd cigarette on the weekend, however there was an article in the paper yesterday saying that this is bad for you. Worse on the heart, etc. I guess everything starts repairing, then I have a smoke. Probably better to smoke full-tme! LOL!!! Not!!!!

It's hard to just totally let go for me and know I will never have another smoke. How can I flick this switch over in my brain? Social situations are the hardest.

 
Old 05-29-2007, 09:15 AM   #6
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StenoLady1 HB UserStenoLady1 HB User
Re: I want to quit/ I don't want to quit.

I liked smoking a lot. I knew it was bad for me, would probably kill me, stunk, made foods taste different, smells smell different, but I did like smoking.

Something that has greatly helped me is to think about (or actually write out on paper) all the things you love about smoking, all the positives or "pros." Next to those pros, list out all the negatives to smoking, all the "cons." Include them all, like the things we all know and hear about in the media, but things that are really specific to you, too, like your hubby.

You know, the "pro" side of my list has two things underneath: Sometimes they taste good, and I enjoy them.

The "con" side of my list is over two pages of legal-size paper.

Looking at my list helps me forget about how happy those smokes made me.

 
Old 05-29-2007, 09:28 AM   #7
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Noni33 HB User
Re: I want to quit/ I don't want to quit.

Texas, I just waited it out, it was long but I did it. I have to tell you after 30 days there is no going back for me. I guess people say I am stubborn for a reason, I guess I really don"t want to disappoint myself. I can't tell you how much more focused I am today and in the future if I have a bad time I know it is only temporary. I feel good today but might sound different tomorrow. Who knows I can only hope for the best.

Noni33

 
Old 05-29-2007, 09:29 AM   #8
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texas1107 HB User
Re: I want to quit/ I don't want to quit.

Quote:
Originally Posted by StenoLady1 View Post
I liked smoking a lot. I knew it was bad for me, would probably kill me, stunk, made foods taste different, smells smell different, but I did like smoking.

Something that has greatly helped me is to think about (or actually write out on paper) all the things you love about smoking, all the positives or "pros." Next to those pros, list out all the negatives to smoking, all the "cons." Include them all, like the things we all know and hear about in the media, but things that are really specific to you, too, like your hubby.

You know, the "pro" side of my list has two things underneath: Sometimes they taste good, and I enjoy them.

The "con" side of my list is over two pages of legal-size paper.

Looking at my list helps me forget about how happy those smokes made me.
good point!! Thank you. I hadn't thought of doing that.

 
Old 05-29-2007, 06:18 PM   #9
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Skimmer HB User
Re: I want to quit/ I don't want to quit.

Stenolady has the right idea. Write it all down - the "whys" and "why nots". I liked smoking too - we all did! But I hated being a smoker! I was a closet smoker and had to hide it from everyone, except for my smoking husband. Well, he quit with me - we've both been quit for 13 weeks now and it's wonderful. I know it was very hard for him, because he smoked while driving all day (he's in sales). I sat in an office and didn't smoke at work, so it was easier for me. I didn't say EASY, I said easier. Because the first thing I did when I woke up in the a.m., was have a smoke. And I would race home from work to have a smoke first thing in the door, couldn't even go potty first, have to get my nico fix in!! It does get easier, I promise. You have to want to quit so bad. I really didn't want to wait until the doctor said "if only you would have quit smoking, you would have had another 20 yrs to live!" And maybe I don't have 20 yrs to live right now, but I know my chances of growing old healthier have greatly improved! I want to live to be old and gray with my hubby - cruising on a sailboat in the Caribbean like we had planned. Not walking around carrying an oxygen tank everywhere I go because I can hardly breathe.

Really think about why you should quit, why you want to quit, and how wonderful life will be when you finally do quit. You will not regret it, I promise....

Good luck to you.....

Last edited by Skimmer; 05-29-2007 at 06:19 PM.

 
Old 05-29-2007, 06:42 PM   #10
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Noni33 HB User
Re: I want to quit/ I don't want to quit.

Hi Texas, Yesterday I stated what a hard time I was having, I pulled thru and I don't know how to explain this ( it is going to sound nuts) but today I woke up and I would swear that I never ever smoke, din't think of it until I told a co-worker about my day on Monday. It is so wierd but I am loving it. Hope it continues, feeling good now too. I'm sure there will be more up and downs but hoping for mostly the "ups" Hope your doing fine.

So my advice is give it a good try,you have nothing to lose. Keep up posted.

Noni33

Last edited by Noni33; 05-29-2007 at 06:43 PM.

 
Old 05-30-2007, 06:46 AM   #11
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texas1107 HB User
Re: I want to quit/ I don't want to quit.

I was stupid yesterday. I ended up having 2 1/2 cigs. I brought carrots and celery today with me to help, at least, I hope it helps. It also helps that it is raining and I don't have any protection from it where I can smoke
I really appreciate having this place to come to. Hopefully, I can just let it go this time!!

 
Old 05-30-2007, 07:21 AM   #12
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Fibrana HB User
Re: I want to quit/ I don't want to quit.

Hey Texas,

Don't beat yourself up about it. I cheated last night too after receiving a huge bill from the condo I live in for a "special assessment" fee which is going to be added on top on the condo fees for 3 months. This basically ruins my whole summer, as I will have no extra money at all for vacation etc. I was in tears. Went to my singles' group meeting and bummed one off someone. They don't even taste good anymore and give me a headache. I just wanted one because I was so upset. It seems since I've quit, I've had so many bad things happen to test me. However, it's still almost 1400 that I HAVEN'T SMOKED, so I'm proud of myself. I just don't want to keep doing these "little cheats" when I get upset or am socializing.

Just get back on the horse and try again and again until it finally sticks.

Are you using the inhaler or gum? The inhaler works well.

Hope things are going well for you today.


 
Old 05-30-2007, 07:24 AM   #13
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Noni33 HB User
Re: I want to quit/ I don't want to quit.

Texas, I think your being a little hard on yourself. After 38 years and only 2 1/2 yesterday that is great. You should be proud. Keep it up.
I think you did great.

Noni

 
Old 05-30-2007, 09:22 AM   #14
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wilmaflintstone HB User
Re: I want to quit/ I don't want to quit.

Hey All,
You know what freaks me out? It's weird, but it worries me to quit bcz I am afraid that I will miss it. That life won't be the same. Isn't that weird? I have a love/ hate relationship with smoking. I do hate it, but it is also sort of soothing to me. I associate it smoking with so many things; boredom, happiness, anger, stress, driving, partying, etc. I went shopping all weekend just to get out of the house bcz those cigarettes were on my mind.......constantly. I am on Chantix- clean for 10 days now and it is a wonderful tool......but you also need will power too. I know I can do this. I know I want to do this. I just feel odd. Is anyone else experiencing dual emotions like me? Please advise.

 
Old 05-30-2007, 09:24 AM   #15
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wilmaflintstone HB User
Re: I want to quit/ I don't want to quit.

Hey All,
You know what freaks me out? It's weird, but it worries me to quit bcz I am afraid that I will miss it. That life won't be the same. Isn't that weird? I have a love/ hate relationship with smoking. I do hate it, but it is also sort of soothing to me. I associate it smoking with so many things; boredom, happiness, anger, stress, driving, partying, etc. I went shopping all weekend just to get out of the house bcz those cigarettes were on my mind.......constantly. I am on Chantix- clean for 10 days now and it is a wonderful tool......but you also need will power too. I know I can do this. I know I want to do this. I just feel odd. Is anyone else experiencing dual emotions like me? Please advise.

 
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