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Old 08-05-2007, 04:21 PM   #1
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suz79 HB User
Want 2 quit but can't

Well thought id see if any1 can help. I wanna quit i really do but im so addicted i can't handle life without em.
I'm 27yo have been smokin since i was 12 i now smoke 15-20 smokes per day and the highest strength one's 2. I have severe heart failue and a growth on my cervix so i definately need to quit it just aint very easy see i have depression and anxiety 2. Went to hospital to get some tests done a couple of weeks ago and they put me on patches but all i could do was eat and in the 4 days i was there i put on 5 kilo's! as soon as i got out i lit one up. Rang the quit line as soon as i got home and they said the patches won't work cause of my anxiety etc so they suggested usin the inhaler and the cut down and quit approach but if the smokes are there i want em. They gave me some info on copin with stress but with 3 boys aged 9,7 and 3 it's hard. The eldest 2 also have adhd so they are truelly a handfull.
Anyways any suggestions?????? I really do need to quit

 
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Old 08-05-2007, 08:38 PM   #2
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Re: Want 2 quit but can't

HI suz.. well if you read my old post I really thought I would never quit ,thought I was more addicted than anyone else. well today I am on day four with no smokes. I stay at home with a 20-19-13-8-5-4 year olds and did it. 6 kids and four of them boys and no school so my house is hectic as all heck and amazingly enough I am doing it. You have to set your mind to it and no matter what do not give in. I thought I was gonna die yesterday but now that its over I am so glad I didn't smoke. I won't lie it isn't a cake walk but its not impossible..IF I CAN QUIT FOR FOUR DAYS SO CAN YOU...then after 4 days decide if you want to smoke again, after I made it through yesterday I never want to smoke again.. I am so proud of myself..YOu won't believe how good you feel when you overcome something you thought you couldn't...good luck to you!!!

 
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Old 08-05-2007, 10:02 PM   #3
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Re: Want 2 quit but can't

Thenks for the advice but i did quit in hospital for 4 days and as soon as i got out i wanted one straight away! I feel like i can't breath when i don't smoke. I know it sounds crazy but i was walkin round and felt as if i couldn't breath which is usual for me cause of the heart failure (i get short of breath every time i excersize) anyways i got a pack of smokes lit one and straight away felt better!
I really do wanna quit i wanna do it for my health and so i can tell the doctors i have and then maybe they may wanna help me more, right now they're just givin me meds but they don't help the exhaustion or tiredness. Oh im on a fluid restriction 2 can only drink 1.5L a day so when the quit people say drink water well i can't i also can't go out for a walk or i end up exhausted it is highly annoyin. What did u do 2 side track yourself when you get the urge for it? how long did u smoke? and are u usin anythin?
Sorry bout all the questions i crave knowledge

 
Old 08-05-2007, 11:35 PM   #4
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Re: Want 2 quit but can't

well sorry your health is so bad. Just more reason to stop. I know exactly what you mean when it felt like you can't breathe without cig. Thats anxiety from not having cig that passed for me already. I think you smoked when you got out of the hospital cuzz you were forced to stop not your choice.as for your questions...I am taking chantix, I don't know if it really is helping or not cause this is the hardest thing I have EVER DONE. I have smoked since I was 16 and I am now 37..I always smoked a pack a day and some days 2 packs. I could not quit even when I was pregnant. Thank God they all came out perfect..LOL, the question about distracting myself.. I couldn't ,I would just sit and dwell on my loss.My energy level up until today was ZERO. My kids must have heard me yell 100 times a day "I WANT A CIGARETTE!!!". Not only was I crazy I was driving them crazy. Today has been a thousand times better. I just had to take my first long drive and I didn't really think of cig too much...When you are truly ready to quit you will..I knew this was it for me, I was tired of failing at this quit thing. I had to do it this time..These boards really helped me the most.. I think more then the chantix..I knew if other people were rooting for me that I would let them down as much as myself and also to be able to talk to others going though same thing or people who have went through it helped me know this was NOT impossible...keep us posted..If you really want to you can do it.!!!

 
Old 08-06-2007, 01:36 AM   #5
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Re: Want 2 quit but can't

What is Chantix? never heard of it. I'm gonna cut down usin the inhaler then go on the patches on Sat when i have no kids. Can't use the pills cause of my slow heart rate and bp so it's either the inhalers and smokin which costs to much or the patches or there's patches and lozenges. wont use the gum cause have heard fron heaps of people that it tastes like cement. My biggest problem is stress im not supposed to stress to much cause i'll end up havin a heart attack again have been givin some info on ways to cope but they require like 10mins and there's no way i can escape my 3yo for that long. Did you substitute the cravin with anythin like food or gum or somethin? think i already asked you that sorry if i did hard to concentrate unless the kids aren't around. oh by the way where you from?????

 
Old 08-06-2007, 06:43 AM   #6
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Re: Want 2 quit but can't

Suz you'll just have to deal with the stress the smokes don't make stress go away I have a kid also it's just part of the package. The first week is hell if you do it cold turkey which I did I smoked since I was 12 and quit last year at 38. If you could have 10 yrs less of smoking think of how much your body will heal. You just have to breathe through the hard stressful times and remember that a craving only lasts a few minutes and I put on a ton of weight but I always say I'd rather die fat w/ pink lungs than skinny with black ones suckin on an oxygen tank. You can do it you just want to want it more than anything. I also have anxiety attacks on occasions and you'll be depressed because it's like losing your best friend but you get through it I promise and when you do you feel so damn proud of yourself it's ridiculous and the first time you run up a flight of stairs without collapsing you'll be amazed.

 
Old 08-06-2007, 03:32 PM   #7
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Re: Want 2 quit but can't

Um i will never run up a flight of stairs not even supposed to walk up them i have severe heart failure. I know i have to do it cause i will not get as much help from docs and hospitals when i am still smokin but it's just so bloody hard. I decide to quit get to the day and all i can think is i need a smoke....it doesn't go away for me i just keep thinkin it. As for puttin on weight im not allowed to cause of the heart thing had a dietician come talk to me in hospittal and she said i was 5 kilos overweight i am now only 1 kilo over the healthy weight range. When you quit what time of day was it? And how many did you smoke before doin it? Oh i can't substitute water for it either as im on a 1.5L fluid restriction

 
Old 08-06-2007, 08:41 PM   #8
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Re: Want 2 quit but can't

Suz,

Do it for your children,if nothing else.

You can substitute other things for the cigs,sugar free hard candies are a good one.I have been smoke free for 37 days and have only gained 8 pounds.

As far as the breathing difficulties and needing a cig to get the air in your lungs,try a straw its very effective.

Getting past the first 3 days is the hardest.then its just the cravings which will pass in a few moments.

I have 4 children,so I can relate and a single mom.

I quit smoking do to a diagnosis of a life long disease.I smoled 2 packs a day,some 3 and smoked for 23 years.

If I can make it this far I know you can and you'll have a great support system here.

 
Old 08-07-2007, 12:27 AM   #9
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Re: Want 2 quit but can't

Yeah that sounds good they do keep hasslin me to not smoke all the time. The quit line rang 2day and sais i've choosen a good day. The kids will be gone on Sat so that is when im doin it less stressfull that day it will be hard still cause my bf is gonna quit at the same time and he is not usin any nicotine replacements he thinks we can help each other i think he needs to support me i've been smokin longer and more

 
Old 08-07-2007, 06:49 AM   #10
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Re: Want 2 quit but can't

Hi, Suze

Just wanted to say hi and congratulations for accepting smoking for what it is: Addiction. I read your posts and see just how much nicotine has a stranglehold on you.

It seems that you are trying to come up with reasons to not quit, that smoking is somehow better for you than not smoking. This is the addiction working. Anyone who's never smoked would think you're positively crazy for smoking while being diagnosed with severe heart failure.

Please try and see smoking for what it is. Stay strong this weekend. Just remember that after 72 hours, the nicotine is out of your system. I had to play lots of mind games with myself after 72 hours, often telling myself my urges and cravings were just mental, nothing more. Millions have quit this disgusting habit and addiction that will kill you. Millions. You're not alone.

If you can't drink extra fluids, can't do anything physical, can't gain any weight, can't have stress, then you're going to have to figure out an activity to take your mind off smoking so that you're successful in your quit. How about needlepoint? Crossword puzzles? Hand-held video game? How about just taking your kids for a walk or taking a walk by yourself?

We waste so much of our lives smoking. When we quit, there are two ways we can look at all the extra time. We either stress about how we're going to fill the extra time, or we embrace having extra time and opportunity for things we didn't take advantage of as smokers. It is really up to you how you choose to look at this. What are some things you've always wanted to do but feel you don't have the time to do them? Quit smoking, and you'll have time.

Please keep us posted as to how much you enjoy not being a slave to a cigarette.

Oh, I quit smoking on 5/22/07 with Chantix. I've been off the med since 6/22. I started smoking when I was 14 and I'm 35 now. I started out smoking a pack a day, until about seven, eight years ago when I increased to 2 1/2 packs a day. I enjoyed smoking -- well, thought I did, anyway. I see things a little different now that I've been quit for almost three months. Now I see smoking as a slow form suicide, similar to ingesting small amounts of rat poison or asbestos daily. I felt backed into a corner to quit. But I did quit and just have to tell myself daily that I'm stronger than this addiction. One day at a time. I also let my quit date pick me. I told myself that when "this" pack is finished, I'm done. That's when I'll clean the ashtrays, box them up and get them put away. Turned out to be Tuesday morning, 5/22, right around 9:45 in the morning.

I hope to see a very similar post in a few months from you telling your success story to someone about to embark on their journey.

 
Old 08-07-2007, 10:47 AM   #11
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Re: Want 2 quit but can't

Excellent post Stenolady!! Congrats on your 3 months quit! I'm 6 months quit. I remember when you started your quit.......it's wonderful to be smoke-free.

Suz, you have to take her advice. The nicodemon has a hold of you real bad it sounds like. You do have some health problems for such a young person - I just hope you can have the strength to quit the smokes - I'm sure you're health will improve somewhat. Like Steno said, you have to WANT to quit bad enough. If it means taking yourself out of your environment for a while, then do it. I used to think, if only I was on a deserted island, with no smokes, that would be the only way I could quit. But you know what? I did it - on chantix, for a couple of weeks then quit the drug, and did it on willpower. I am so happy to be smoke-free. You will be too. Just do it - you are stronger than nico-demon!! Don't buy any more smokes, stay in bed for weeks if you have to!! Whatever it takes.......do it for you, and your kids, and everyone else who loves you.

WE LOVE YOU TOO!! Good luck to you, and I really hope you can fight the urge come Saturday....come back and let us know how you're doing...

Skimmer

 
Old 08-07-2007, 03:15 PM   #12
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Re: Want 2 quit but can't

Thanks you guys are very helpfull. I do really wanna quit i mean it's gotta have some good benifits with the heart failure i may even be able to walk a block without gettin puffed but the first week is gonna kill me. My thinkin has always been that the warnings are crap cause it says it causes low birthweight kids and i smoked through all my kids and they were over 7 pounds also the thing were they say the colour will come back into your cheeks well i already have it i have rosey cheeks and nice skin naturally i don't even wear make up. It's always been my sayin that id rather die happy with a smoke in my mouth than miserable wantin nicotine but i know that's crazy i can be happy without smokes i just need to change my thinkin

 
Old 08-07-2007, 11:35 PM   #13
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Re: Want 2 quit but can't

By the way what is this CHANTIX every1 keeps talkin about?????

 
Old 08-08-2007, 05:25 AM   #14
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StenoLady1 HB UserStenoLady1 HB User
Re: Want 2 quit but can't

Thanks, Skimmer

Major congrats to you on the six-month mark. That is SUCH an inspiration!!!

It's funny; I no longer think in days. I've totally lost track of actual smoke free days. It's now months. We're hitting Orlando for our wedding anniversary, which coincides closely with what will be our four-month mark. It's really fun planning for both anniversaries. So far, we're seeing Blue Man Group for the quit anniversary; we're eating at Bistro de Paris at Epcot for the wedding anniversary, lol.

I'm a planner <sigh>. DH says I always need the "carrot dangling in front of me." Orlando theme parks is a planners' dream!

Happy Smoke-Free Hump Day!

 
Old 08-08-2007, 05:54 AM   #15
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Re: Want 2 quit but can't

Suze, stop with the negatives! I try and be a rah-rah cheerleader over here and pay forward what was so helpful to me in my own quit, but you are in some serious denial if you really believe quitting is going to kill you or that there "might" be a benefit to quitting.

Sorry, but I need to be honest here. And I think you need to be honest, too.

Your skin will greatly improve after you quit. Let me share something with you.

My mother & I are Italian and Norwegian. This translates into incredible complexions. We've got the high cheekbone thing going, never have blemishes, bright green eyes, with the olive Italian skin. Not to toot our horns -- we're deficient in other things, of course, as everything is a balance -- but our faces are our strongest features.

For my mother's two-month quit anniversary, she went and got a facial. Now, this is a woman who's 55, and she smoked since she was a teenager. The past ten or so years, she was up to three packs a day. She's gotten facials many times over her life, as she was a massage therapist for years. She told the technician she'd recently quit and this was a treat for herself. The technician told her ALL smokers' faces are yellow, that we, the smoker, can't see it, but we are, in fact, all yellow.

What happens is when you sweat, your pores open up ever so slightly. If you're smoking, yellow tar/nicotine gets into those pores. Every time you sweat, it happens again and again, for years and years.

Well, my mom's facial took over two hours. The majority was spent getting the yellow out of her pores with tools and cloths. I saw the cloths when the tech was done, and they were disgustingly yellow, almost dripping. And my mother looks so different. She really was discolored from smoking all those years.

So I won't be convinced that smoking doesn't have an effect on your skin. You can choose to believe that, but I really can't. I personally spent a Saturday afternoon watching yellow goo getting squeezed out of a heavy smoker's face. And the result is totally unbelievable.

And the first week won't kill you. The first 72 hours are hard -- HOURS we're talking about. About halfway through that "week," the fog lifts, the energy levels start to return and, depending on your outlook, your confidence will get stronger and stronger.

Chantix/Champix is a fairly new medication to help quit smoking. It feeds your brain the same "happy stuff" (dopamine) a cigarette would have so that quitting is really quite manageable. Here in the US, it's called Chantix; in the UK -- and maybe where you are -- it's called Champix. But even with Chantix, once you're through that first 72 hours, it's really a mind game. The med doesn't do much for the actual habit and psychological addiction. That's up to us to overcome.

Something that helped me when I was just staring at my box of medication, not really wanting to start it, foolishly believing I wanted to die a happy smoker instead of an ex-smoker always craving a cig, was I made a list, a "pro" and "con" list, if you will. You should try this. And be honest here. Don't lie to yourself. No one will ever see the list but yourself and your maker. On one side, list all the positives of smoking. On the other side, list all the negatives of smoking. This is also a nice exercise to see how you prioritize things associated with your quit when you're ready. (For me, money was on the top of my list of negatives, so I make sure to include my savings from not smoking as a big part of my rewards).

Suze, I loved smoking. I said the same things as you are. I was convinced quitting would make me sick (I still have to laugh at that one). But when all was said and done and I was BRUTALLY honest with myself, the only thing on that "pro" side of the list was I enjoyed smoking. And now that I don't smoke anymore -- and I think you'll get a similar response from other former smokers -- I realize I really didn't enjoy smoking. I was addicted. My addiction was telling my brain that I enjoyed smoking, it wasn't real enjoyment.

Stay positive. You have to. Get some help from your doctors if need be. Ask about this med or other meds. Maybe it will help. But don't despair if you can't take any of these meds. Remember, 72 hours. After that, it's all mental.

 
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