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Old 09-21-2007, 04:03 AM   #1
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questions?

I am 7 weeks into my quit. Feel all day as if I want to smoke but something keeps stopping me. Sometimes it ' s the thought of the sickness I'll feel with the first couple. I am under extreme stress right now and will be for a long time to come. I have lost most of my friends in the past year and a half, hubby and I are not getting along well since we both quit and I am just generally unhappy. I know in my rational mind that smoking is not the answer but all day I think of it. I talk to myself all day "If I had my cigs I would feel better and less alone" " Smoking won't help anything, it will just make you sick" Ihave thought of going into counseling as this doesn't seem normal to me. I am an intelligent woman and know that IF i started again it would cahnge nothing, except make me feel less alone. I can't get involved in anything right now as my health won't alllow it. SOmeday it will . How do I become more comfortable now, not start smoking again. Any words of wisdom?


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Old 09-21-2007, 05:46 PM   #2
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Re: questions?

Seven weeks is alot of hard work and you do not want to give that back. You are doing it and you hold the power. You have got to feel so great about that!! I know that you do. I can understand the thinking of cigarettes all the time. I did that myself. Seemed that is all I thought about for a long time. Thinking about them won't kill you, it is the smoking part that will kill you!! As long as you are just thinking about them you are okay. I am at 6 months and it is way better than in the beginning. I barely think of them at all anymore. It does get better so please hang on to that, you will see. I love your signature God is never late! Read a good book, do a craft or something, write a letter. Just do anything but smoke. Protect those 7 weeks!!!!!!!!
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Old 09-22-2007, 07:03 AM   #3
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Re: questions?

Hi velveeta...I have figured out what's going on with me. I feel like crap. Lots of physical pain. 3 surgeries in 4 months. No fun. miserable all the time. STRESS>>>>>STRESS>>>>>>STRESS! constantly. Most of my friends were co-workers and now that I don't work I have no one. Have my family BUT really miss a life of my own. I realized this morning that I really feel if I smoked I would feel better, happier, all of my problems would be gone. Now you and I both know that's BS BUT it'show I'm thinking all day /everyday. I can't seem to break the cycle of thought processes.

ICC

 
Old 09-22-2007, 07:27 AM   #4
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Re: questions?

ICC, I thought the same things. It is not easy but quitting is attainable. I was 5 days into my quit and lost my mother. I was shocked and sad and stressed. I had surgery 2 months later and laid up with that. I did think of cigarettes alot, like all the time but I held on. You don't really want to start over. Nobody came around other than family and I was just plain sad and disgusted. Went back to work mid Aug and joined a gym and feel much better. I will not go backward, I will only move forward from this point on. I know you will feel better soon. I am cheering for you!!!
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Old 09-22-2007, 12:34 PM   #5
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Re: questions?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ICC View Post
I can't seem to break the cycle of thought processes.

ICC

Hello ICC....

I remember talking with you before, but it's been a [long] while. (Weren't you one with thyroid problems too?) So sorry things are going badly for you right now. (3 surgeries!!?? I'm so sorry) I know for me, it was hard too, that first year that I quit. (It will be 4 years, this Monday though, ( ) that I quit...geez, I can hardly believe that!) As I was saying....yes, that first year was a toughie, but I did it, as I had made up my mind, that "No matter WHAT, I'll NEVER smoke again, EVER!" Each month that went by got a bit easier.....I really can not remember for certain, but you will come to a point when it just won't be driving you nuts anymore....no more cravings, no more thinking bout' em all day long....no more feeling deprived or depressed about missing it....really! I thought I'd never reach that point, I felt as if I would always, ALWAYS be cravings them and feeling deprived and unhappy....but the days finally started getting better....to where I just didn't miss them any longer, [at all] and the thought of smoking [honestly] makes me sick!

I know what you mean about missing everyone, and being bored too, ICC. A year before I quit smoking, I had to quit my job, as I was sick and in too much pain to work any longer,, I didn't know what was wrong with me, but about 14 months later, I diagnosed myself with the hypothyroid, and really went downhill after that, as I reacted so badly to the meds, and became increasingly sick, more pain, etc. And I too also had a lot of friends at work, and of course, we all said we'd stay in touch, etc.....but you know that never really happens. (One gal, she and I were very close at work, good, good buddies, and she is so busy now working 2 jobs, [yeah, one of those lucky people who at 56 is healthy as a horse]...the few times we connect we always say we are "definitely" going to get together for lunch"...yaw right.
...we still haven't done that yet...over 5 years now!]


When my dad passed away [last year], I joined a grief support group and made a lot of new friends there, also started going to a new church too, and have made a couple of new friends there as well. Also just recently lost a good friend to cancer...just the way life is.....it seems like the older we get, the more difficult it becomes. [to me it does] Pray...please pray. He gave me a lot of strength. Life IS hard anyway...but I would always remind myself, that as miserable as I felt, there were people who were going through tougher times than I was...just wanting a cig so badly. Imagine being sick with lung cancer, or lung disease....that would be a million times worse....and many other things as well.

And ICC...I know what you mean about the not getting along with hubby...I'm going through that right now too...and really have been since a long time ago...but oh well....I can't deal with his immaturity....only he can decide to change....but I'm not going to let him drive me crazy...that would give him too much joy! Well...he does sometimes, [drive me crazy] to tell you the truth, but I try my hardest to not let him get to me and just [as hard as it is], just blow him off, and walk away. He's worse than having a ill behaved 10 year old. (my kids were more mature when they were little!)

Do you like to read? I read a whole lot....rent videos/dvd's...work puzzles,...[that takes your mind off things, it really does]....go to your public library, [if you can get out] Just please don't give in and smoke, ICC...it's just not worth it... and you will be so sorry. (If you think you feel down now.....you'd feel even worse if you DID smoke! I know you would!)

Try to work on doing some things that will keep your mind busy...and just hang in there...keep reminding yourself, [meditate] that these feelings are only temporary, [because they are], and they will subside one day, and that YOU ARE strong enough to survive them till then!! (Because you really are, girl!!) Pray and ask God to help you through this,..and he will. (I will say a prayer for you too) And keep on coming to this board for support. There are lots of people going through the same, or have been through the same, and they will come around here and help you,...like that [sweet] girl, Velveeta did! [bless you, velveeta!]

Be grateful that you still have family too...I wish I had more family. I have a husband who is hardly ever home, [he's selfish], and my 2 kids are grown,...son lives about 20 miles away, and although I see him, it's not that often, he's so busy....and is with his girlfriend a lot too...and then our daughter lives in N.C., so that sucks.... (I'm going to go and visit her on Oct. 3 though, and I'm so excited!). I have lost my mom and dad, and older brother, [a year older than me, and we were very close]...and everyone else is gone! I do have one younger brother, who lives 500 miles away, but we're not really close though, as he has a weird [mean] wife, and they worship country clubs, money and hanging around with their wealthy friends. It's so sad, but what can we do? I'll just pray, and I will be fine. I know it gets lonely....but now I do have some friends around here, and that has helped,...if not just some people to talk on the phone with...sometimes for a couple of hours! lol

Be strong,....and post here 1 year from now to tell us just how much better life is! [because it WILL BE!] Just please don't smoke! (We're here for you!)

Take care,
Love, Deda

 
Old 09-23-2007, 09:04 AM   #6
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Re: questions?

Oh Deda....I was wondering where you were. I didn't smoke and I am really happy I didn't. I still have the same broken body I had over a year ago, just started to do all the tests over again to see if anything changed BUT the one thing I do know is that smoking will not change any of it for the better. I know that in my mind and my heart. I did pray this morning that God would help me to go on, get my life back together, get healthier and NOT EVEr smoke again. I have such strong faith in Him that it's done for me. I know He'll be by my side.

I think I needed to hear others say they have the same problems and have survived. Not that I wish some of the misery I have on others but it's nice to know I'm not alone, that some of this crap is normal for women our age. I am still in PT for the 5 injured body parts. Had shoulder surgery and my arm is worse for it. Seeing a PM Dr.on the 1st and am really hoping for somehelp. Need to have my Thyroid nodules checked for changes. Had all 4-5 of them biopsied last year and they were all benign and my blood work is fine. I don't think I can take the biopsy again so am praying that the ultrasound comes out normal and I won't have to.

There is a Women's resource center close by that I might check out when I'm up to it, or maybe even a course or two in the local college. I need to join something to make some new friends. How do you make new friends in your 50's unless you join something? Hubby and I talked it through. I feel much better about our marriage now I have also lost many loved ones and friends. That doesn't help.

Point here is though that as much as I really obsessed about smoking in the past week or so I didn't. It won't solve anything. I thought it would make me feel better but am too intelligent to believe that. Having a good day today. Hoping it continues. It's good to see you.

Love and Hugs,
ICC

 
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