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have to quit , not quite ready =(

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Old 02-21-2008, 03:08 AM   #1
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have to quit , not quite ready =(

Hi all.. Im 41, 4 wonderful children all 16 and under. Single mom but very much taken =) You would think I would stop everytime I see my children, or think of how my dad and his two sisters died of cancer, smokers yes. I have smoked for about 5 yrs now. Started when I was going thru my divorce. In my heart I know i have to stop, one reason is found out I have hpv which with smoking can lead to cervical cancer-- have i stopped ?? No still have about 2 to 3 a day. Nothing is making me stop. Not seeing my kids, seeing how sick my dad was, my health issue. I have even put a note in my cig case reminding myself the danger I could be putting myself in.
Question... I went from a pack a day to half a pack now 3 or 2 a day. I think I am on the right track here BUT that night time cigerette is so hard to let go. Its almsot like its my time to have my hot tea and relax after my long day.
Do i want to quit??? well yes and no.. Am i ready to quit -- no. Do I know i have to? Yes.. I just need some support to help me wean myself off them. Weekends and nights are the biggest challenge for me.
Thankyou for listening,

Last edited by tiggy44; 02-21-2008 at 03:09 AM. Reason: wrong age!

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Old 02-22-2008, 02:39 PM   #2
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Re: have to quit , not quite ready =(

tiggy44, I sure wish you luck!! Like you I cut down from a pack a day to 1/2 a pack, then to 2-3 a day (all this after smoking for 42 years!). I finally realized that if I'm ever going to quit, this is the time. I know myself well enough that those 2-3 per day would just go up again in time.

I started taking Chantix for 8 or 9 days before I totally went from those 2-3 to ZERO. After a couple of days I also started taking Xanax to help me through the emotional, weepiness I was experiencing. Have you tried any kind of stop smoking aid?? You may need a little crutch to get you through this....I know I did! There's patches, gum, meds, so much on the market right now. You need to make up your mind to quit and then just DO IT. Keep busy and know that the first week will be tough, but it does get easier!! Good Luck! Today is Day 14 for me....I know the worst is behind me!

Old 02-22-2008, 07:20 PM   #3
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Re: have to quit , not quite ready =(

thanks.. well today was a bad day, had about 4 or 5 =( seem to have more when i am home. I havent tried anything yet, just thought i could do this on my own when im ready. Thing is i have to stop, im not wanting too. stupid thing to say isnt it? dont know what else to say im so depressed. hpv, smoking,smoking =cancer, i give up

Old 02-22-2008, 08:18 PM   #4
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Re: have to quit , not quite ready =(

Everyone has a story...mine was...about 12 or 13 yrs ago I could no long afford our State jacking up the prices of a carton to some ridiculous amount of money so one day I went grocery shopping and instead of buying my usual several cartons of cigs I bought the nicotine patch instead...not cheap either but with the aid of the patch I only needed step one and two and I was done with cigs. I didn't plan on it or taper down (I was a chain smoker) I didn't negotiate with myself or waffle back and forth...I just decided this was the day that I could no longer afford it. I knew that if I had even one cigarette in the house I would be smoking it so that was that. I didn't discuss it with anyone I just was like a personal thing that I had to do myself. I enjoyed smoking and I'm not sure if you ever get over it but I can tell you this my 4 kids were soooo happy that I quit! It really does make the things in the house and you smell so much better. Smoke gets on everything I remember getting gifts in the mail from my brother a smoker and the air in the box smelled like smoke. When he died 9 years ago from Lung Cancer I got all his art work that he had collected over the years and they all smelled so thick of old cigarette smoke as did all his clothes. You just don't notice when you are the smoker. Anyway, good luck with your journey.

Old 02-23-2008, 06:13 AM   #5
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Re: have to quit , not quite ready =(

I agree with AnnD. When you are ready, you will quit! Simple as that.
My Quit Date: March 13,2007

Old 02-23-2008, 06:55 AM   #6
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Re: have to quit , not quite ready =(

I agree,
when you're ready to quit, you will. but if you only feel guilt which I can tell you're doing and you're punishing yourself mentally by saying you KNOW you shouldn't smoke and even though you think if your kids, it's not enough to make you want to stop.
you smoke very little at this point, but enough to put the drug into your system and your system being human, will always want more of the drug when your body goes down low on the nicotine. your psycological addiction seems to take over mostly in the evening when you have your tea.
you will have to do away with the tea and do something totally different to change your schedule so your mind won't remember having that cigarette at that time of day.
also, guilt alone will not make a person quit.. what I mean is, because it's a very powerful addictive drug, you can't help it that your addicted to cigarettes. the nicotine and other chemicals in it are so darn addictive and the fact you enjoy smoking will make it even harder to quit.
only when you've made up your mind to do it, will you do it.
I highly recommend the nicotine patches. I myself am experiencing quitting smoking as i"m typing this. It's been 13 days now that I stopped smoking.

I am so greatful that the state I live in offers free patches to people who are really serious about quitting smoking. you get a two week supply and the money you would've spent on cigarettes those 2 weeks is put towards the next package of patches. this way it makes it possible to get the cessation started.
some need that initial push.
it's not the nicotine that gives you lung cancer, but the tobacco,tars and all the other harmful agents they put into tobacco that harm the lungs and other organs of your body.
just by your skin absorbing the nicotine in the patches does not harm your lungs. It's the smoke that you're inhaling into your lungs.

another thing that helps me when an urge comes on,is that I tell myself that the urge only lasts for a split second compared to the length of time it would take to smoke a whole cigarette which takes minutes.
so just knowing that my uncomfortablness will only last a duration of a second or two is shorter than the time to actually smoke the darn cigarette takes.

anyway, I wish all the people that are thinking about quitting or the people who just started quitting the strength and determination we need and to never forget the reason why we quit to begin with.
don't laugh. I actually forget the reasons why I quit to begin with when the urge comes to want a cigarette.
so from time to time i have to remind myself why I don't want to smoke anymore.
it's a drug and drug addiction is not just stopped in one day at the snap of a finger. it takes work and determination.

Good Luck everyone, I wish you all a happy and smoke free life.


Old 02-24-2008, 12:46 AM   #7
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Re: have to quit , not quite ready =(

Hi everyone. I am close to the three month mark in my smoking cessation. I feel so much better! I never thought that I could do it, as it took me several attempts to quit cold turkey, but I finally was able to do it. I know that my first year will the the toughest. Yes, there have been times when I have wanted to pick up that old friend of mine the cigarette, but by just delaying that one cigarette, the urge actually goes away, it's amazing. When you quit smoking, you realize just how nasty of a habit it is. I hated my clothes smelling, my teeth and gums turning color, feeling anxious, having to hide my habit around others, turning my skin a bad color, all of that stuff. It is great to be smoke free! Good luck!

Old 02-24-2008, 07:37 AM   #8
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Re: have to quit , not quite ready =(

Just a bit of info that isn't well known is that there is such a thing as third hand smoke that comes off of you and your clothing etc. When my son was diagnosed with asthma his allergist told me about third hand smoke and how it can trigger an asthma attack now I never smoked in the house around him the closest he got to my smoke or at least what I thought was the closest was when he was in the park and I was sitting watching him play I'd smoke on a park bench a hundred feet away from him. That's when I quit 2 weeks after that I tried smoking with a hooded jacket on and washing my hands a hundred times a day to avoid any third hand smoke than realized what insane lengths I was willing to go through to smoke and I quit cold turkey and the quit was miserable but I wanted to sooooo badly that I just went through the hell and the hell is the reason why whenever I think to myself I could have one and no one would know I remember the quit week and I NEVER WANT TO GO THERE AGAIN.

You can't quit if you're still fond of smoking so don't beat your self up just do it when the time is right when it's the only sensible choice and one you're ready to make and commit to.

Old 02-24-2008, 10:06 AM   #9
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Re: have to quit , not quite ready =(

Originally Posted by lintek45 View Post
I highly recommend the nicotine patches.
I highly recommend them too. When you are ready to quit, buy a box and try one. Tiggy41, you probably only need the 7mg one (the smallest one). Why don't you buy a box now and try one with your tea? It may be all you need to help your cravings!! And you won't really be able to quit until you are ready to quit but I believe you are getting there! Good luck!

Old 02-24-2008, 05:59 PM   #10
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Re: have to quit , not quite ready =(

thanks everyone. (((hugs))))) you are all right you have to be ready. otherwise it wont work. i stopped drinking about 6 years ago got tired of it dumped a whole 6 pack down the drain-- so i was ready then - havent drank since. dont want to. but i started smoking. what the!!!! so i am trying i dont take my cigs out with me. they stay home. thank you all for the much needed support. one day at a time. congrats on all whole are smoke free =)
i have smoked for 6 yrs now. 1 pack and a half to a pack now no mroe than 5.
weekends i smoke more. but i will keep coming here and i will be smoke free one day. thankyou all so much

Old 02-25-2008, 11:10 AM   #11
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Elaine444 HB User
Re: have to quit , not quite ready =(

Originally Posted by tiggy44 View Post
thanks everyone. (((hugs))))) you are all right you have to be ready. otherwise it wont work. i stopped drinking about 6 years ago got tired of it dumped a whole 6 pack down the drain-- so i was ready then - havent drank since. dont want to. but i started smoking. what the!!!! so i am trying i dont take my cigs out with me. they stay home. thank you all for the much needed support. one day at a time. congrats on all whole are smoke free =)
i have smoked for 6 yrs now. 1 pack and a half to a pack now no mroe than 5.
weekends i smoke more. but i will keep coming here and i will be smoke free one day. thankyou all so much

You remind me of myself a bit. I didn't start smoking until I was 25, around the time I started drinking heavily (was introduced to alcohol by my alcoholic now ex boyfriend). Before then I had been a dancer and was very consciencious about my health. I just let everything go and eventually ended up going through several detoxes, police encounters, treatments, and a halfway house before I quit drinking altogether in 2000, only 3 years later. But...I made up for that addiction by smoking almost two packs a day. My Aunt died of lung cancer from smoking in 2003 and still I kept smoking. I began to have other health problems not directly related to smoking and still I kept smoking, although I began to try to quit halfheartedly. I had a total hysterectomy and removal of both ovaries when I was 33 in 2005 and I knew I needed to quit because I would be on hormone replacement which is a bad mix with smoking. I tried the nicotine patch but for me it gave me nightmares at night so I would take it off at night, only to wake up with bad cravings. And I wasn't 100% ready. So I went back to smoking anyway. Still in the back of my mind I continued to have little talks with myself about what I was doing to my body, and how I needed to quit. I was slowly building myself up for quiting. Then on August 31st of 2006 I had a DEXA scan to measure my bone density since I was at high risk for osteoporosis. Imagine my shock at being told I had severe osteoporosis in my spine at 34 years of age. I was told that smoking can thin your bones considerably by lowering estrogen levels in your body (and testosterone in men). It was one of many risk factors for me. But somehow that was the push I needed, the event that made it all click. Really by then I was sick of smoking and didn't even like the taste anymore. I had smoked for nine years. I just couldn't imagine life without smoking though. But I quit that day and my official quit date was September 1, 2006. I have not had a cigarette since then, almost 1 1/2 years now. this time I did it cold turkey, though I realize that this does not work for everyone. the first few weeks were really rough while I went through the initial physical withdrawal. I was really weepy and so very tired. But gradually that subsided and the toughest part for me began. Driving and waking up in the morning were my two hardest times, the times when I always smoked before. I started chewing gum while driving and giving myself less time to get ready for work in the morning. I made sure I was too busy for a cigarette. Sitting at the computer at home was another toughy and I made myself get up and stretch every fifteen minutes or so, and when it was really bad I chewed gum or fiddled with a straw. Sometimes snacks like banannas turned me off of craving a cigarette. And sometimes nothing helped except the knowledge that if I smoked I would maybe get a buzz for five minutes and then be back to the same craving again. I also posted a list on my wall in my bedroom detailing the benefits for me of not smoking, including saving a ton of money every month, not smelling like cigarettes all the time (and I had no idea how awful I smelled until I quit and started smelling it on other smokers), improving my health, no more burn holes and ashes all over my car and house, not having to worry about where I would be able to smoke at work since smoking was banned anywhere outside on the property (which is a huge complex), no more guilt at lighting up, no more smokers cough and morning phlegm, and the list goes on. My DEXA scores also improve considerably the following year.
My boyfriend that I am with now was still smoking when I quit but I would not allow him to smoke in the house or in my car and he respected that. He finally quit in November of 2007 and has been smoke free for 3 1/2 months.
Every once in a while I still have a craving here and there or daydream about my smoking years, but it passes and there are entire days, even weeks, that I don't even think about cigarettes. I can no longer stand the smell of second hand smoke and it actually makes me queezy. How weird is that? But I know I can never be too relaxed about it because I have an addictive personality and it wouldn't take much for me to be drawn back in. I keep my guard up and remember the positives of not smoking now.

Anyway, that's my story. Like the others I think you will succeed at quitting when you are ready. Good luck to you!

Old 02-25-2008, 12:40 PM   #12
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Re: have to quit , not quite ready =(

Using chantix has worked for me. I smoked for 26 years and have now been smoke free for 2 weeks. It's getting easier by the day.

Good luck

Last edited by moejoe39; 02-25-2008 at 12:41 PM. Reason: spelling

Old 02-25-2008, 09:02 PM   #13
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Re: have to quit , not quite ready =(

I wasn't ready to stop when I stopped either.... for the 8th (or was that my 14th) time.

Anyhow, I think the most important thing is to find something that works for YOU. You may try to quit by using NRT(nicotine replacement therapy), I did and was quit for a whole 6 months, then I started again. The whole 6 months I was on the NRT. So this time I figured I HAD to get off the nicotine ... I am an addict.

The day of the super bowl was my last day to smoke so I've been free for 22 Days and 39 Minutes, yes, I have a little program that runs on my computer that keeps track. Completely free of nicotine, cold turkey. This is the first time I have been nicotine free since I was probably 18 years old ... 37 now. When I quit I was smoking approx 10 cigs/day. So I didn't think I had that much nicotine in my system. The first week was by far the most mentally trying time, thus far, in my life. And the physical withdrawal was no picnic. So now every time I think I need a cig, I think back to that first week and know I don't want to go through that ever again.

I know that several people will, and have, told you that you have to be ready to quit, but for me I wasn't ready and quit all the same. Set the date, stick to it and get through one day at a time, whichever method you use. I watched my grandfather and my childhood neighbor who was a mentor/hero to me die of lung cancer ... I don't want that to be me.


Old 02-25-2008, 10:29 PM   #14
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Unhappy Re: have to quit , not quite ready =(

Different strokes for different folks. The amount of information available today on the harmful effects also are never enough when the temptation to smoke arises. I had been smoking over two decades and quit a year ago-abruptly, completely. Funny thing is, I've never considered myself self-disciplined, it has to be an external factor for me to take action (and I certainly don't mean a nagging wife!) Simply the scare that death can be so close. When my checkup showed signs of lung scarring, my doc asked where my work history and when I mentioned construction companies (I was then building homes and selling them). When he questioned the details such as whether I would be on site-I thought my doc's really lost it. When he continued, I think I lost my hearing, he mentioned exposure to toxic substances, and the next thing-they were testing me and drawing blood samples. My suspicious nature and denial wanted me to believe the hospice has found a way to get free blood-but truth is-I didn't want to accept was a likely mesothelioma patient.

He said the combination with smoking may have aggravated the condition. That was the last day I smoked. Perhaps it was more of a case of transference, I am now an addict of networks and self education.

I have concluded since then-it's less biological and more psychological. You don't want to wait for an extreme situation like this

Anyway, now if I have to ever think of giving anything up-I'm certainly not waiting for Mr. Joe Black to come warn me.

Last edited by moderator2; 02-26-2008 at 06:08 AM. Reason: posted commercial website

Old 02-26-2008, 03:04 AM   #15
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Re: have to quit , not quite ready =(

i think well gee i leave my cigs home, dont smoke in the car, in the morning, except sat and sun UGHHH dont bring smokes to work i walk or read, dont want to smoke around my kids, so i dont. i limit myself where i can smoke. i have a cig after work, after dinner and before bed thats 3. those are the hardest ones to stop. my bf smokes, but currently we are ina long distance relationship but i know it will be hard for me when we are together,. my mom smokes and since i live here for now that is hard. then i say to myself well gee i only smoke tops 4 a day how is that going to hurt me? its an excuse i make excuses as to why not to stop. i have cut down and changed my habits yes, and now i dont need or want that cion the way to work or at break time. i am hoping when i am ready i wont need that one at night or after work. dont we all wish we never took that first drag? im trying but like i said not ready--- but starting to feel guilty at times whne i light up. think of my kids, my health, how my dad and his two sisters died of cancer, think of how i want to be around to see my kids have kids, but yet HA i continue to light up. go figure.

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