hopetofeelwell1

Hi Ryan! PLEASE don't be so hard on yourself! I know it's easy to say but I know just how you feel. I have beat myself at least a million times because that is how many times I have tried to quit smoking. Right now I say that I have stopped (not quit) and my last cigarette was January 6th. I didn't use Chantix, but I have mental health issues that warranted my starting an anti-depressant and mood stabilizer on or around that date. I just know how I am--I get extremely depressed, almost suicidal without the cigarette and I guess what happens is I have this depression issue to begin with and when I stop smoking it triggers worse feelings that I just can't handle. I know people would say that I'm weak, but when you are diagnosed with clinical depression and agitation you need to take care of that disease. I know just what you are saying as far as biting someone's head off--I have done that a million times, too and let's face it--we're giving up an EXTREMELY addictive drug and our brains are crying for it. Everything that we do and touch evokes a memory and it just triggers things. I tried exercise and it does help to divert you and make you feel a little bit better and stronger. I just wish my body would cooperate better, but maybe with the warmer weather I'll be able to exercise a little better. I also pray a little and that seems to help. I am so grateful for this board!! Everyone gives one another such hope and comfort and I feel this is Heaven sent. I have a smoking cessation group that I go to once a week and if I could go more I would. I really feel that you have come to the right place, though, by coming to this board and sometimes I have found that even if I don't post that often I get the good word from others and it gets me through minute by minute. Perhaps if you also spoke to your family physician about other avenues to take regarding meds or groups. I found my family doctor is wonderful and gave me literature to read or perhaps calling your insurance company could help regarding groups. I will keep a good thought for you today and may I say welcome to the board! God bless and take care--Hopeto--