Does anyone else get bitter? Venting. - Smoking Cessation Message Board

shelly80 · 02-27-2009, 09:33 AM

Hello,

So I've been smoke free since.......Feb 11th. I had been going through some weird heart palpitation/flutter things before that and had been cutting back because my doctor told me it could be the nicotine. Then I got a horrible flu that lasted a week. So I couldn't smoke (I guess a high fever takes the craving away). After I got better, I still had that nagging fear about the heart stuff and I had already gone a week so I decided to make it offical. I quit.

There are things I love about not smoking. I'm saving a ton of money, my beautiful brand new car doesn't reek anymore or have ashes all over the place, I know my body is getting healthier by not smoking.....

But I am so freaking bitter when I see other people smoking. I miss it and I get this crazy thought that I wish I had quit because I was "ready" to, rather than quit because I was afraid of something. Does that make sense? I feel like that is where the bitter feeling comes in.

Oh yeah, I'm a 28 year old woman, I've been smoking regularly for 10 years. On average I smoked about 8-10 per day. Some days less, some days (lets say having a late night coffee/wine chat session with my best friend) a lot more. Will missing this EVER go away?? The missing it is worse than any physical craving.

tanyasparks0543 · 02-27-2009, 11:54 AM

I have only been quit for 10 days so I'm don't know about how long this will last. I do, however, know what you mean about missing it. I had to quit because I was diagnosed with asthma and was hospitalized because I couldn't breathe. The docs said that smoking could kill me quick if I didn't quit now. Since I was in the hospital, I decided to make it official. I also have been having heart palpitations. Which, I have had before. The nicotine defiantely can cause that. I know that they told me the heart palpitations were completely harmless until my heart rate started going up to 150 just going to the bathroom. I feel so bitter that I had to quit because of my health. Why me? Why not my parents who have been smoking 40yrs. I tore my house up this AM looking for a cigarette. Luckily my husband is very good at making sure our house is cigarette free. I had no such luck. Some days are better than others. Sorry for rambling, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

Liamsmom · 02-27-2009, 05:19 PM

I quit almost three years ago after 25 ish years of smoking and although I'm completely greatful that I quit I miss them like I miss an old lover or friend however it's only occasionally that I miss it. After about a year of being quit I just looked at others who still smoked and thought how glad I was that I didn't look like them as they crammed a smoke in their face as soon as possible after being on the train or bus etc. I like to think I handle my daily stress much better and healthier.

I quit because I wanted to so I don't really resent my decision or others for not quitting. Your still fairly new to the quitting game give it some time. Three months is usually the lucky number once you pass that milestone it should be easier.

zekat · 03-04-2009, 11:18 AM

>>get this crazy thought that I wish I had quit because I was "ready" to, rather than quit because I was afraid of something<<

That is simply your addictive brain trying to convince you to smoke again. Nobody is ever "ready" to quit. Smokers smoke because they enjoy smoking. We all quit because we have reasons (typically health related). Don't give into the voice. Eventually the bitterness will go away.