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Old 08-10-2012, 03:04 PM   #1
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Smoking partner makes me smoke!

Hello There

I have given up smoking many times in my life, sometimes for a year or two I can go without a cigarette, but when in the company of those who smoke a lot, I find it almost impossible to not start smoking again sooner or later. I have a long-term partner who smokes very heavily.
He is wonderful in most ways but he loves smoking and will not go anywhere you can't smoke, and does not care if it's bad for him.
From being in his company I find myself lapsing and smoking and here I am smoking again. I don't smoke very much and I find that if I cut down gradually I can give up for weeks at a time. But when I am under stress and my partner offers me my favorite tobacco , I give in.
I am not leaving my partner as he is great apart from that.
He will not change, ever.
I need to change and be able to be with someone who smokes constantly. I am sure this is possible somehow.
Also I find I overeat when I am not smoking and that is not helpful as I am already overweight.
Any ideas? Anyone else gave up smoking with a partner who insists on smoking all the time?

 
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Old 08-11-2012, 10:20 PM   #2
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Re: Smoking partner makes me smoke!

This will be tough - you say you will not leave him, so you have two choices: quit smoking or don't! I was lucky, no one in my family smokes, so when I quit cold turkey, I didn't have that to worry about. But if you truly want to quit and are ready to quit, you need to just do it! As for the eating to replace food, keep carrot sticks, apple slices, celery, all low calorie nibbles on hand and I carry around a water bottle constantly; water helps to detox your system. Good luck!

 
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Old 08-12-2012, 03:14 PM   #3
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Re: Smoking partner makes me smoke!

Hello Rufous57

Thanks for your reply. I'm glad someone answered!

Take care

 
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Old 08-13-2012, 10:58 AM   #4
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Re: Smoking partner makes me smoke!

I've been wanting to light up SO BAD for in the past few days, but I find that reminding myself of the withdrawal symptoms keeps me from doing so. Just consider all the times you gradually gained weight; it was probably during the times you gradually cut down on smoking. It's not the lack of nicotine that makes you gain weight, it's the withdrawal symptom of low blood sugar that makes you need to snack and snack throughout the day (or at least it is for me). Like I spent the past year trying to quit and cutting down all the time, and as usual, I kept getting all bloated and putting on 5-10 lbs over this time despite the fact that I worked out like CRAZY every freaking day--whether I was smoking 10 cigs or 5! I was also trying valiantly to eat super super healthy--and for the most part I was (i eat ridiculously healthy anyways), but every day, there would always be these periods where I would become ravenously hungry and shaky and I'd have to gorge myself on cereal or cookies or whatever because I just couldn't function when I felt so crappy. I just accepted this as normal and assumed it was my own fault for eating too strictly and then eating too much sugar or something. Now that I'm free of nicotine I can see it was the nicotine that was doing this to me and it's REALLY motivating me to stay away from it. I mean, I took a couple puffs from an e-cig the other day and the symptoms came right back within an hour! I just don't want to feel those shakes, the hunger, and the headaches ever again, so it doesn't seem worth it anymore.

 
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Old 08-13-2012, 11:19 AM   #5
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Re: Smoking partner makes me smoke!

I've been wanting to light up SO BAD for in the past few days, but I find that reminding myself of the withdrawal symptoms keeps me from doing so. Just consider all the times you gradually gained weight; it was probably during the times you gradually cut down on smoking. It's not the lack of nicotine that makes you gain weight, it's the withdrawal symptom of low blood sugar that makes you need to snack and snack throughout the day (or at least it is for me). Like I spent the past year trying to quit and cutting down all the time, and as usual, I kept getting all bloated and putting on 5-10 lbs over this time despite the fact that I worked out like CRAZY every freaking day--whether I was smoking 10 cigs or 5! I was also trying valiantly to eat super super healthy--and for the most part I was (i eat ridiculously healthy anyways), but every day, there would always be these periods where I would become ravenously hungry and shaky and I'd have to gorge myself on cereal or cookies or whatever because I just couldn't function when I felt so crappy. I just accepted this as normal and assumed it was my own fault for eating too strictly and then eating too much sugar or something. Now that I'm free of nicotine I can see it was the nicotine that was doing this to me and it's REALLY motivating me to stay away from it. I mean, I took a couple puffs from an e-cig the other day and the symptoms came right back within an hour! I just don't want to feel those shakes, the hunger, and the headaches ever again, so it doesn't seem worth it anymore.

 
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Old 08-13-2012, 11:42 AM   #6
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Re: Smoking partner makes me smoke!

You are in a tough position, do you live together? As wonderful as this man may be in your eyes, smoking is so damaging to your health and your organs. Having a partner that has no regard for himself or you does not sound like a very healthy relationship at all.

Depending on your long term goals, I would be very wary of a heavy smoker for a long term partner. There is just no future in someone with no regard for his own health and ever worse for yours.

I urge you to quit now and never pick up again while you still can somewhat easily. Once you get to that point of no return, it can be almost impossible to stop, which may be your boyfriends situation. I imaging he is so adamant about never stopping because he simply cant do it himself.

Don't give up! Best wishes to you both...

 
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Old 08-13-2012, 12:41 PM   #7
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Re: Smoking partner makes me smoke!

Yeah, it definitely gets harder and harder to quit the longer you smoke--even if you're only a light smoker! I smoked for 11 years but was technically categorized as a "light" smoker (5-10 cigs a day) yet I was REALLY dependent and emotionally attached to those cigarettes. Plus, remaining a "light" smoker gets harder and harder and eventually feels like torture. I agree with writeleft; give them up now instead of later!

 
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Old 08-13-2012, 12:54 PM   #8
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Re: Smoking partner makes me smoke!

Quote:
Originally Posted by writeleft View Post
You are in a tough position, do you live together? As wonderful as this man may be in your eyes, smoking is so damaging to your health and your organs. Having a partner that has no regard for himself or you does not sound like a very healthy relationship at all.

Depending on your long term goals, I would be very wary of a heavy smoker for a long term partner. There is just no future in someone with no regard for his own health and ever worse for yours.

I urge you to quit now and never pick up again while you still can somewhat easily. Once you get to that point of no return, it can be almost impossible to stop, which may be your boyfriends situation. I imaging he is so adamant about never stopping because he simply cant do it himself.

Don't give up! Best wishes to you both...
Hello there

Thanks. I know you mean well and I agree with you, but we've been a couple for 32 years and we are inseparable.
I guess maybe I'm a bit too old to be asking for help on health forums.
I just thought someone else might have a long-term smoking partner and found a way to deal with not going back to smoking themselves.
Thanks for your reply and I will suss it out on my own.

 
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Old 08-13-2012, 11:01 PM   #9
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Re: Smoking partner makes me smoke!

Oh my gosh, 32 years...my mistake, so sorry! I certainly will change my advice now that I realize you are talking about 32 years together!

Maybe you can use a financial incentive to help you keep your smoking to a minimum. You can put the savings aside every week or month, then treat yourself to something special with that money. If complete abstinence is not possible, you can still reduce your use as much as possible and reward yourself for your efforts.

Still keeping positive alternatives around, like the celery and carrot sticks, gum, mints, mouthwash, etc. They will make your ability to skip a cig here and there easier.

I wish you the best, and keep us posted on your success. It always seems to help just to get your thoughts out, so I think posting was a great idea. Sometime there is no one simple answer, but hopefully you can gain some helpful suggestions from the group.

 
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Old 08-14-2012, 04:23 AM   #10
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Re: Smoking partner makes me smoke!

Quote:
Originally Posted by writeleft View Post
Oh my gosh, 32 years...my mistake, so sorry! I certainly will change my advice now that I realize you are talking about 32 years together!

Maybe you can use a financial incentive to help you keep your smoking to a minimum. You can put the savings aside every week or month, then treat yourself to something special with that money. If complete abstinence is not possible, you can still reduce your use as much as possible and reward yourself for your efforts.

Still keeping positive alternatives around, like the celery and carrot sticks, gum, mints, mouthwash, etc. They will make your ability to skip a cig here and there easier.

I wish you the best, and keep us posted on your success. It always seems to help just to get your thoughts out, so I think posting was a great idea. Sometime there is no one simple answer, but hopefully you can gain some helpful suggestions from the group.
Thanks I'll suss it out on my own.Thanks for your input anyway and I will maybe buy some mints,if they are butterscotch ones maybe, I'll like those.
I have no trouble giving up smoking, I just have trouble not smoking when I am surrounded by smokers, if I am going through a stressful time. Not so long ago, there were lots of people like me, having to be a non-smoker and having people around them who smoked all the time.
I don't know how they did it before.
Anyway am going now, got lots of important and stressful things to get done, without smoking!

Last edited by Joni50; 08-14-2012 at 05:45 PM. Reason: sent by accident

 
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