Brookej

Hi. I hope someone will see this post and give me some feedback ASAP. I was going to quit smoking on Feb. 11 but I didn't so I am going to quit smoking tomorrow. I know I simply can't have one when I wake up in the morning or I will be doomed to yet another day of smoking-period. I feel like I desperately need a support group since this is one of the few things that I haven't tried and when I say support-I mean like everyday support-at least for awhile.
If just a few people out there who have quit or are quitting tomorrow (3/1/01) like me could rep;y to my post, I think it would help. We could give each other pep talks if needed. I could probably use a good scolding if I get tempted to smoke although I realize that others may not want to be scolded. Positive reinforcement or encouragement in case of a slip would be helpful. I wish there were a lot of nicotine anonomous meetings available where I live but there are only about a handful a week at different locations. I've been to two in the past but they were at night after dark in locations I didn't feel safe going to. My husband has been going to AA meetings for over 13 years and has not had a drink for over 13 years. He can go to a meeting every day or night nearby. I wish the nicotine anonomous meetings were that way. At least we have computers so mabey I could accomplish some daily support this way for awhile.
I have been smoking for way too long and I have quit a few times in the past but I never stay quit. It is so easy to find an excuse to smoke again. I quit last summer for awhile because I had surgery and I know that non-smokers heal much better than smokers but I had poor results from my surgery anyway (my surgery didn't accomplish what I expected) so I figured-what the heck and here I am again. My husband smokes although he confines it to one room in the house or outside as do I but they are still readily available. I made him take all the cigarettes from the house when he went to work and I couldn't drive for awhile after surgery so that worked well for awhile.
We both tried the patch last week but he took his off the second day and started smoking again. I got intense unbearable itching from the patch so I couldn't do it that way. I would rather do it cold turkey anyway and rid my body of these deadly addictive toxins. I can't understand why something so harmful and addictive is legal. I think there is at least one country where it is actually illegal. I think I could stay a non-smoker if it became illegal. For now, it is to easy to go to a nearby store and just buy them although it is expensive these days.
We both quit with hypnosis about 12 years ago and I did great with that until he started smoking again. We tried about 3 other ways to quit over the years but never stayed quit. He stayed quit longer than I did one time so one or the other of us starts it up again when we "quit" together and we end up right back where we started. I get pretty depressed sometimes and figure I'll end up with lung cancer or emphasema anyway even if I quit now and never smoke again since I have been at it for so long. I know this isn't necessarily true. Some people have great success stories after many years of smoking and some don't but I guess I will never find out if I don't give it a try. There is always hope especially if your faith is strong enough.
I don't want to try Zyban even though it may help my depression because for one thing I would have to get a prescription and I am too ashamed of myself to let my Dr. know I started up smoking again. Besides, I am afraid I'll start liking it or something. I started liking the pain medicine I took after surgery last year but the post-op pain ended and so did the pain med supply. I am not the type of person who would do anything illegal so that is why I wish cigarettes were illegal.
I want to quit and stay quit whether my husband does or not. Mabey he will if I do. Anyway, I am sorry for rattling on so. I guess I just needed to get some feelings out and express some fears. The rest of my posts won't be so long. I check the active topics first thing every morning. If there is even just one reply to me I will feel like someone cares and I won't reach for that first morning cigarette. I know people are busy and can't be on the computer all the time but if sometime during the day everyday for awhile I could communicate with someone-it would help. I would also like to help others with this horrible addiction but I am in need of help myself. Once I hit the submit button, I think I will feel more committed to quitting than I have been for awhile-especially if I see a response in the morning. Thanks for reading my post if you got through the whole thing! On a lighter note, I have been sitting here eating candy like crazy while typing this post (I am a very slow typist). Sweet tarts, jolly ranchers, etc.-you name it! I have carrots and celery in my refridgerator so I think I better switch to that tomorrow. I don't want to gain weight and my candy supply is almost gone now. Good night!