I'm afraid I'm going to die of fear before anything else! - Smoking Cessation Message Board

amachristian · 10-16-2002, 07:08 PM

I don't know if it's better to quit slowly, or cold turkey. Most of the people I know, 'not all, but most,' that have smoked for 30 years or more, and then quit, have developed some life threatening lung desease within two to ten years after. I thought quiting was to help us live?
I'm wondering now, if our lungs get used to working in a certain way for so long, and then they have to get used to working without smoking, all of a sudden, if that's not still a shock to the body.?
Think of all that tar falling off the lungs and leaving it raw and bare to anything and everything! I want to quit so badly, but now I'm afraid of what we DON'T know about people who have quit and how their organs adjust to things being so different after they've gotten so used to working a certain way, even if that way wasn't the way intended.
My uncle quit 15 years ago, NOW he has developed lung cancer. They know it wasn't there before because 3 years ago he had a heart attack and they'd checked everyting at that time. Yeah, a heart attack too! He's a tall, thinn guy and always has been. Eats well and gets plenty of excersize.
A friend down the road from me in her 60's, quit a little over a year ago. She was always a real go getter, now, she's always sick!
My aunt was soooo happy she finally quit smoking, then, she died from liver cancer.
My dad was a drunk all his life until about 7 and 1/2 years ago. He worked hard and played hard. Then, he quit drinking, got very sick within the next year and went down to 98 lbs. H's in his 70's and still smokes. He keeps trying to quit, but it just hasn't happened yet. He went to the doctor thinking he MUST be dying of something. The doctor said he does have 'some' enphesema, but they couldn't find anything else wrong with him.
I'm on Xanax for panic attacks, depression and constant anxiety. My husband smokes and for me to tell him he can't smoke in our home is.....well....it ain't going to happen that way!
So here am I, wishing I'd never started years ago. Wishing I'd known then what I know now and getting more and more anxiety from knowing it every day.
The worse the news about what smoking can do to you, the more anxiety I get and the more I feel like my life is heading for a break down. The more I feel that way, the more I wind up smoking. It's a circle I wish had never begun!
The more I hear of another family member or friend who quit smoking, then got some dreadful desease that is still smoking related, the more feel I don't know what to do.
I'm scared! I want to quit, but I want to quit to be healthier, not sicker than I already am!
Thank you for your time,
amachristian < and...yes, my name means what it says...that's another thing that bothers me. Not only am I going crazy, I'm a Christian who's supposed to be setting a much better example....... So now I carry guilt around, and guilt isn't good either.
WHAT A MESS I AM!

ConCon · 10-17-2002, 07:52 AM

Hi AmAChristian,

I beat myself up everyday for smoking and I will quit again one day hopefully soon. My father smoked and died of lung cancer 15 years ago. I truly believe the diseases you get are from your genetics and I also know for a fact that yes you can quit smoking but that doesn't mean you will not die from lung cancer in 5 years. When you smoke the damage is being done and will be there for a long, long time. I think not smoking is alot better than smoking. Frame of mind has alot to do with it also. Worrying about things like that will make you sick. Kind of hard to explain but I do know that NOT SMOKING is better than smoking in the long run. You have to choose which is best for you......SMOKING or NOT. The choice is clear. I do know that when I didn't smoke I felt so much better and I plan to quit again the 21st so wish me luck....I will definitely need it. Good Luck to you and may God Bless you every step of the way. Remember he is always there for you......Pray.

rhlomax · 10-21-2002, 08:04 PM

AmAChristian:
I started smoking in eigth grade. I smoked on average two packs a day until I was 25. I loved my cigarettes with coffee, newspaper, TV, talking with people, etc. It was like a familiar friend who would never turn on me. I knew, long before the warnings were put on the packs, that this friend was no good for me. I had more colds than other people, coughed all the time, and my clothes (I found out later) smelled AWFUL!. The thing that did it for me was getting engaged. I knew that I did not want to explain to my kids why it was bad for THEM to smoke, but not Dad. I quit cold turkey on December 31st, 1974. I smoked two packs that day and had one cigarette left in a pack. I told myself that if I ever started again, I would smoke that one first. Well, after a few months, you can imagine how attractive THAT idea was. For 30 days after I quit I gave myself this concession: I could eat and drink anything I wanted! Eventually, I started running for exercise. The first time I went out, I couldn't make it around the block. In a very short time, I was running a entire mile! I couldn't believe it. Within a year, I was running in 10K races. Not winning, mind you. Not even coming close. Just participating in a healthy event. In 1992, I ran a marathon. I still run, but only a few miles a week. I play racquetball and I'm in excellent health. Don't ever think that quitting cigarettes could possibly be bad for your lungs. They'll love it!

If I were you, I'd take the following actions as soon as possible:[list=1] [*] Talk to your pastor about the anxiety and worry.[*] Try to find a support group for smokers.[*] Pick a date to quit and just do it. The date has to belong to YOU! Not me or anyone else.[*] Give yourself a concession. For you, maybe it won't be unlimited food and drink. Whatever - it's just a mental gift to yourself so you don't feel cheated.[/list=a]
You have to do it for yourself. I'll be honest with you: I loved smoking. But, just as honestly, I could never smoke cigarettes again. God bless you!

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Rich

[This message has been edited by rhlomax (edited 10-21-2002).]