Hurdy, I doubt that any of us can tell you exactly what is going on, but I feel it's important for you to get your NS's attention by hook or by crook. I know you have called several times, and I always HATE these stories of being blown off by nurses, etc.... But the nurses do not know it all, and it seems apparent to me that you have some important nerve issues still going on.... When you lose urinary control and when you have new jerking of extremities..... these are NOT NORMAL occurrences after an ACDF. I feel it definitely needs to be checked out. Go back to the NS, or call your PCP.... go to the ER.... DO SOMETHING PROACTIVE. I don't mean to shout, and I know you have tried. Like I said, I just hate hearing about this sort of thing happening to patients; and unfortunately, it happens way too often...

Please get thee to a(nother) doctor for an opinion on these new and troubling symptoms.
I have not put in my signature, but I had my three-level ACDF just a year ago... and I'm hanging in there pretty good.
Good luck... get your husband or somebody else with determination to help you get through the doorway. And don't go alone.... obviously this guy needs somebody to help get his attention, and you already have your hands full just dealing with the aftermath of surgery. I know you know.... this is major surgery!
hy_sis