tintx

I need to get this off my chest!
I was thinking last night about all the visits i made to various doctors starting back in the early 90's, now I know the problem was this neck thing, even back then. I was having problems with muscle spasms, pain, difficulty walking/leg stiffness, pain in my forearms that was diagnosed as tendonitis, headaches, fatigue. It makes me furious, thinking of all those years I was not treated medically but treated like a hypochondriac with the insinuation that stress or depression was causing my physical problems. It was dealing with the physical problems without any help that contributed to stress and depression. People treat you like you're malingering, it's very demoralizing and lonely. But I always kept going, working and everything, without having any treatment or explanation of physical problems that were having negative effects on my life in the short and long term. I was lucky, too, that my problems weren't incapacitating. It's been really hard, and I hate for anyone to have to go through that kind of experience.

It was a battle up to the bitter end to get diagnosed, which finally happened only two months ago. And then, it was me who insisted on having a myelogram, it was me who said, yeah, go ahead and do the neck too on the ct scan. It was me who said, yeah, let's see yet another neurosurgeon, even after I've been "dismissed" by several. I'm fairly assertive, yet it's taken over 13 years and I've probably been seen by 20 doctors. I'm really disappointed in doctors in general, and feel that many of them are grossly discriminatory. I just hate them sometimes, how dare they blow me off that way, making assumptions because I'm female or a certain age, or whatever.
It's an abuse of power, it's dishonest and it's added to my suffering.

My opinion is that most doctors aren't very good when it comes to diagnosing something beyond the ususal. I think it's criminal that so many label the problem as stress or depression to cover up their own ignorance or incompetence. Not only do they not help the patient, but do them a disservice by telling them "nothing's wrong with you," therefore you must be crazy. No doctor's told me that in so many words, but the inference is obvious. And, to add insult to injury, I or my insurance co has been paying these people, paying them well! I'm not crazy, but there's something very irrational about a system that functions/malfunctions this way.

I know there are good doctors. I believe the one I have now is a good doctor, and I'm grateful. But that doesn't excuse those others that are out there, doing damage because they won't admit their own shortcomings, discriminating against certain types of patients due to their own biases, all because they can get away with it, because they're in a position of power, all while they're taking your money. I don't expect them to be perfect, and I know I have a choice and that i live in probably the best country in the world to get medical care. It's the discrimination that chaps my ***. Recent studies have shown that women with heart disease still don't get diagnosis and treatment as soon as men, and they're dying because of it. I guess I've just experienced the effects of discrimination too often in my life, on the job and now when I try to get medical help. It's frustrating, maddening, depressing, and makes you feel hopeless and powerless, feelings I'm not comfortable with!

Thanks for letting me vent, and if I can find a way to combat this, I'll do it. I'm sure my story is small potatoes compared to some. I've been looking for something to write a book about...

Tintx