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Old 02-04-2005, 06:09 AM   #1
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Location: georgia
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tanamodessi HB User
Just need to VENT! 6 months post fusion!

I had my fusion in August still not doing good it hurts to sit hurts to stand and hurts to walk oh and not to mention it hurts to lay too long. Still taking my narcotics everyday. I have found if I skip a day or cut down my dose my pills will work better when I'm in real severe pain. I have a fear of getting addicted so I try to skip when I have a fair day.

I'm 37 years old and am in the process of applying for soc sec disability.
This is so embarrassing to me!!!! I know what people are thinking and saying behind my back. Some have the nerve to say it to your face.
Nobody really knows the extent of this disability until they have experienced it. I would go back to work tomorrow if my body would let me. Maybe I should show them my bills and then they would shut up about me trying to milk soc security. Because it won't even be half of what I used to make.

I try to stay upbeat for my family I have 3 girls (16,14,11), they need a sane MOM even if I'm disabled. Not to mention my poor hubby would probably love to trade me in on a new younger woman.
Bless his heart he's stuck with me!!!

I don't get on much, because it hurts to sit too long but I guess I was feeling chatty today. ~~~DEBBIE~~~

 
Old 02-04-2005, 08:10 AM   #2
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Lyn in Michigan HB User
Re: Just need to VENT! 6 months post fusion!

Hi Debbie

It is OK to vent. We all need to vent at times. I know exactly how you feel. I was fused ACDF 5/6 6/7 Nov. of 2003 and I still hurt. My neck and shoulders still feel really sore and my head aches every day. My NS also says I have myolopathy in my left arm that runs down into my hand and makes my hand numb and tingly. He says that is coming from my neck problems but it didn't ever go away!!! They thought all this pain would go away when I was fused. I had bone spurs, degeneration and arthritis. After my operation the NS said everything looked good. At 6 weeks , I had a car accident, a woman cut right out between the traffic in front of me and we collided and I got whiplash. I have gone downhill since then and my ns say he couldn't help me. Last week I went to see him again after pain clinic injections, therapy, etc etc and he looked and my mri and sent me for a myelogram which showed him that I never fused, probably because of the car accident. I am in so much pain and now he says he can operate again!!! Who wants to hear that!!! Anyway I do understand your venting, you are still so young to have these problems and your children are still so young and needs lots of your time. I feel so bad for you. If you need help and SS will give it to you then go for it and do what you feel is right not what anyone else thinks.
Talk to you again soon and take care.
Lyn in Michigan

 
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Old 02-04-2005, 08:12 AM   #3
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valleygurl HB User
Re: Just need to VENT! 6 months post fusion!

Hi There, Just wanted to tell you that you are not alone! I know exactly what you are going through!!!!!! I deal with the pain everyday as well and have MANY children that i have to take care of. I have thought about applying for disability but i haven got up the nerve yet, some of the reason is exactly what you were saying!!!! Good luck and i feel your pain!

ValleyGurl

 
Old 02-04-2005, 08:59 AM   #4
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Esmo77 HB User
Re: Just need to VENT! 6 months post fusion!

I am going in for surgery #2 this month. God only knows whether I will get better or worse. I also feel like I am going down hill (Health) fast to be 38 years old. Hubby and I used to do so much together, ride motorcycles, go four wheeling, etc. Now I just sit by the sidelines and watch. This is a feeling only those who experience it will understand. Thank goodness for a desk job or I would be in a much worse situation. Sending hugs and much understanding your way.

 
Old 02-04-2005, 10:24 AM   #5
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kellyv HB User
... deleted ...

Last edited by kellyv; 09-30-2005 at 06:24 PM.

 
Old 02-04-2005, 12:50 PM   #6
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flyonthewall HB User
Re: Just need to VENT! 6 months post fusion!

Hi Debbie, Someone recently sent me notes from an FDA meeting from 1/10/2002 that talks about BMP leakage. I don't know how to access it directly off the fda website. Do you still think that may be part of your problem?
fly

 
Old 02-04-2005, 05:02 PM   #7
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zoey1 HB User
Re: Just need to VENT! 6 months post fusion!

Well,

Alot of us cannot give to wonderful of advice cause many of us going through the same things still.

Lynn twin stories there almost ( car accident in own neighborhood) 6 weeks post op women backing out of her driveway didnt look at the road and of course SHE did not have insruance (grrr)......

I'm 8 months post up double level fusion recently diagonesd with anklosing spondilitus basicaly chronic inflmation of the spine ( soft tissues) as disease progresses back becomes fused on it's own............

WHat i got out of the deal was at least my neck will be straight and fused not (hunced over as is most of these cases)

i do remember them telling me way back when the surgey could help. The relief i got was no severe neck pain, the numbness tingling went away....
However what i deal with every day is extreme muslce spams, fatigue sorness acheness and gasps of pain that seem to hit on there own so far no ryhme or reason to them
we do what we can let go of the rest and look forward to the it's not so bad moments and always grateful for what we can do and of course let go of the things we cannot do
so it goes ...........

 
Old 02-09-2005, 05:17 AM   #8
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tanamodessi HB User
Re: Just need to VENT! 6 months post fusion!

Thanks ya'll!!! It was so nice of ya'll to take the time to comment to my little fit.
My daughter has to have her tonsils out on Feb 15 so I have been busy with that.

Kellyv,valleygurl, I hope you can get approved for disability, afterall it is an insurance that we did pay into. Its not like we're asking for a handout!

Lyn and Zoey GOSH, hearing your story, I almost feel guilty for venting

Esmo, hugs and prayers your way, For your surgery, when is it?

Fly, I'm going to a doctor in Atlanta as soon as I can get an Appt., The BMP situation is still in the back of my head, everytime it surfaces I try to push it away. The only test that the doc has done since my aug surgery has been simple lumbar xrays, the thought that keeps coming to me is what if the BMP has slipped off into another area that the xray doesnt see.
~~~DEBBIE~~~

Last edited by tanamodessi; 02-09-2005 at 05:18 AM.

 
Old 02-09-2005, 05:47 AM   #9
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Esmo77 HB User
Re: Just need to VENT! 6 months post fusion!

Surgery is scheduled for 2/23 at 6am. I am trying to stay positive and be brave. The posterior approach with bone graft is scary since I don't know much of what to expect.

 
Old 02-09-2005, 06:37 AM   #10
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tanamodessi HB User
Re: Just need to VENT! 6 months post fusion!

Best of luck! mine was anterior l5-s1 with bmp and bak cage.

 
Old 02-09-2005, 06:39 AM   #11
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Join Date: Jan 2005
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jaymz HB User
Re: Just need to VENT! 6 months post fusion!

sup man im in the same boat , i do concrete and my body is messed up, im goin in for surgery the 23rd at noon and im freakin that im gonna be worse off , get a good lawyer im going to , cause i dont see how im going to do my job or any other job it hurts so bad, if it dont work im goin for dissability.
good luck and the hell with the idiots that think your milkin it i know the pain and the numbness and the off balance feeling, dam i fell up the stairs! lol peace vent anytime man jaymz....

 
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