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Old 05-05-2003, 08:42 PM   #1
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Cool Must be time for misc. words of wisdom??? or not.

Words of wisdom?


Whether a man winds up with the nest egg or a goose egg depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt that he forgets his sugar.

Too many couples marry for better or for worse, but not for good.

When a man marries a woman, they become one, but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

If a man has enough "horse sense" to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she won't be an old nag.

On anniversaries the wise husband always forgets the past...but never the present.

A foolish husband remarks to his wife: "Honey, you stick to the washin', ironin', cookin', and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is gonna work.

The bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the interest is kept up.

Many girls like to marry a military man--he can cook, sew, make a bed, and is in good health...and he's already used to taking orders.

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Apr 03 C5 corpectomy C4-C6 strut graft with titanium
May 03 Heart Attack, Balloon Angioplasty & Stent implanted
Apr 2010 sched for ACDF and laminectomy & stabilize C3 (maybe C2) to C7

 
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Old 05-05-2003, 08:43 PM   #2
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Points to ponder

The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people is mentally ill. Check 3 friends, and if they're OK, you're it.

Nothing in the universe travels faster than a bad check.

A truly wise person never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you put them to where you can't find them.
__________________
Apr 03 C5 corpectomy C4-C6 strut graft with titanium
May 03 Heart Attack, Balloon Angioplasty & Stent implanted
Apr 2010 sched for ACDF and laminectomy & stabilize C3 (maybe C2) to C7

 
Old 05-05-2003, 08:44 PM   #3
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BEFORE AND AFTER MARRIAGE


BEFORE - You take my breath away.

AFTER - I feel like I'm suffocating.


BEFORE - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation.

AFTER - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac.


BEFORE - Saturday Night Fever

AFTER - Monday Night Football


BEFORE - Don't stop.

AFTER - Don't start.


BEFORE - Is that all you're having?

AFTER - Maybe you should have just a salad, Honey.


BEFORE - $60/doz.

AFTER - $1.50/stem


BEFORE - We agree on everything.

AFTER - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?


BEFORE - Victoria's Secret

AFTER - Fruit-of-the-Loom


BEFORE - Charming and Noble

AFTER - Chernobyl


BEFORE - Idol

AFTER - Idle


BEFORE - I love a woman with curves.

AFTER - I never said you were fat.


BEFORE - He's completely lost without me.

AFTER - Why won't he ever ask for directions?


BEFORE - Time stood still.

AFTER - This relationship is going nowhere.


BEFORE - Croissant and cappuccino

AFTER - Bagel and instant


BEFORE - You look so seductive in black.

AFTER - Your clothes are so depressing.


BEFORE - Oysters

AFTER - Fishsticks


BEFORE - I can hardly believe we found each other.

AFTER - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you.


BEFORE - Passion

AFTER - Ration


BEFORE - Once upon a time

AFTER - The end

__________________
Apr 03 C5 corpectomy C4-C6 strut graft with titanium
May 03 Heart Attack, Balloon Angioplasty & Stent implanted
Apr 2010 sched for ACDF and laminectomy & stabilize C3 (maybe C2) to C7

 
Old 05-05-2003, 08:44 PM   #4
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Some helpful household hints and simple rules

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply peeing in the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6.If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.
__________________
Apr 03 C5 corpectomy C4-C6 strut graft with titanium
May 03 Heart Attack, Balloon Angioplasty & Stent implanted
Apr 2010 sched for ACDF and laminectomy & stabilize C3 (maybe C2) to C7

 
Old 05-05-2003, 10:58 PM   #5
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Very funny Cliff!!

My husband was even chuckling. Wait a minute.....

"Honey, he wasn't really serious about that sink thing

Ooops, meds kicking in. Got to go and fall down the stairs.You take care. Thanks for the laughs.



------------------
God bless,

Lea

C4-5 noncompressive disc displacement
C5-6 compressive disc displacement
C6-7 broad based disc protrusion encroaching on the anterioposterior aspect of the spinal canal.
DDD
__________________
God bless,

Lea

 
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