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Old 09-11-2006, 07:28 PM   #1
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HamuChan HB User
Unhappy My students are killing me!!

When I wake up to go to work in the morning I feel like bursting into tears from all the stress. Sometimes I want to just keep driving past my exit for work and just drive all the way to another state. Please allow me to explain. I am an alternative certification 1st year teacher with no experience or classroom mangement skills. When my classes begin my students spend the whole day trying to push my buttons! I am afraid that I will lose my job if my school principal finds out that my classroom is out of control. If I lose my job I will lose my house, my car, etc. But sometimes I just want to quit beacuse I am SOOOO stressed!!! I have seeked the help of other teachers in the school and they are trying their best to help me. But they are busy as well because they have classes of their own. If I lose this job my entire career will be ruined. I may as well not have a career. I am lucky that I have a great husband but most of our money comes from me. Our six weeks report cards are about to come out and my classes are going to fail because I can't get them to pay attention. So I will have this HUGE failure rate and my principal is going to have a one-on-one meeting with me about their failure! But it's my fault and the kids are suffering because of me. Help!! I am going to have a freakin' nervous breakdown!! My health is suffering and I am mentally and physically drained.

Hamu

Last edited by HamuChan; 09-11-2006 at 07:29 PM.

 
Old 09-11-2006, 10:24 PM   #2
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Re: My students are killing me!!

You know...that is really sorry that kids are that terrible nowadays. You should not have to worry about your career because of some undisciplined children. Wouldnt it be nice if parents could be fined for bad behavior from their kids at school? Ok...time to wake up...but it was nice to think about.

I have a 6 yr old child that may be ADD and I am constantly on top of her. We check daily to make sure she is doing well in school and if she even gets one time out I have to know about it. These are my children and their behavior reflects on me. They know that if they get into trouble at school then they will be scolded here at home for it. If more parents would take the time and effort to make sure their child is doing well and visit with the teacher then it would save a lot of good teachers from finding better paying jobs.

 
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Old 09-12-2006, 03:22 AM   #3
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duttin HB Userduttin HB User
Re: My students are killing me!!

No teacher should be subjected to ill manner children.
Remember this is your first year.This is all new to you.You obviously care a great deal about your job and these children or you wouldn't be stressed over it.
This is not all your fault,these children are out of control and have been before they became your students.Your new and these children know this and they are going to test and push you to your limits.
Children today don't look at teachers the way students in the past had.When I went to school many moons ago we respected the teachers and feared them,but kids today do not have respect for our educational personnel.Parents do not stay involved.I have 4 children,my oldest she has a learning disability,through hard work and staying involved she graduated and has a successful job.My 17 year old is vision impaired and is ranked no 1 in her senior class.My 15 year old son who is a packin pistol that can and has disrupted the class and even suspended a year ago for fighting is a 4.0 student.He is the one I have to remind to behave everyday before he goes to school.My 11 year old she's great in school.
I have taught my children that teachers are your future,they have realized this.
In todays society of children,the children have been aloud to get out of control and they are rude and obnoxious and parents are blinded by this.
I'm sure your doing a good job.You may have to explode to get there attention.This will get easier as time goes.

 
Old 09-12-2006, 06:33 AM   #4
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Re: My students are killing me!!

Hamu, I'm sure a lot of teachers find themselves in your situation, so please don't feel alone. Heck, they've even made movies about it! Before my injury, I was working part time in our school helping out with games and even filling in to help clean up. I kept running into children who seriously needed "guidance" and it was driving me crazy. Finally one day I spoke up, and it wasn't too loud, but they actually listened to me. It worked!! (mind you I was scared, but I did it)

One thing about kids, no matter what their age is--they will always test their limits. When the bell rings, say: Please sit down and be quiet! Start with a nice voice. Remind them in a more stern voice and offer to send any offenders to the office and follow through if you have to. Let them know you mean business. This first morning you decide to do this, let them know the rules and what the punishments will be for breaking the rules. If you don't get a grip on it now it will continue on and you will hate your job even more. Then, during parent-teacher night, let any parents know about any students you are having troubles with.

I hope everything works out for you! When you get home, relax, have a hot bath, and drink some tea. Let us know how you are doing.

 
Old 09-12-2006, 07:19 AM   #5
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Re: My students are killing me!!

Sorry to hear about your predicament. You are teaching children in an alternative school, that means children who aren't making it in the regular school, so therefore, it's going to be harder. I don't think that the principal would be that surprised that a first year teacher is struggling with alternative students. What are the other teachers saying about how the principal would react if you told him what's going on? The school must have a social worker, have you approached her. I'm sure most of these kids are coming from homes that are having problems because it is an alternative school. Do you think you could get to know the kids more and learn about what their struggles are? I'm sure they have some stories to tell. By showing concern for them as individuals and what is going on with them, maybe you can get their attention. Maybe talk to the class about wanting to help them with anything and you really want them to succeed. It sounds like you could be exhibiting a little fear of the situation. People who are having problems really respond to people who are not afraid. I guess those with problems have enough of their own fear and when they are around others with fear, especially fear of them, it is not comforting. If you are unafraid, it is very comforting and they respond. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

 
Old 09-12-2006, 07:29 AM   #6
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Re: My students are killing me!!

May be you should really change career. I personally can't be in the position when I manage people especially kids. I know lot of people who are good in the subject but can't keep a discipline and visa wersa.
I know it is easier to say than to do. I myself was suffering a lot at work and worse job I had was back in my country which hardly give me $20 per month which I spent on my grandpa in order ever have any place to leave, no house my own family or anything descent and I sick from that job for life.
May be you will be much happier like me just have my piece of work to do and responsible only for myself. Think about it.
My mother in low was a teacher and she has very strong character and likes kids but she was forced all life change schools 'cause it was always a child she can't handle and she even went on her retirement earlier and lost or almost lost a lot of money.
I don't think person can jirastically change himself and if he doesn't have it he/she doesn't have it.

 
Old 09-12-2006, 03:47 PM   #7
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HamuChan HB User
Re: My students are killing me!!

Thank you for all of your kind replies. Let me clarify a few things. I work in a regular public school but I am an alternative certification teacher. So that means that I am on a probationary certification this year and after sucessfully completing one year I will be an oficially certified teacher. If I quit I will lose my income and any option or opportunity to be a teacher for the rest of my life. I am teaching because I love kids and I really thought that it would be for me. Maybe I just need to be patient?

But what if I get fired??!!! I hate being stressed.

 
Old 09-12-2006, 05:04 PM   #8
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thegardener HB User
Re: My students are killing me!!

Oh, well that completely throws my reply out the window! I have never heard of this (this one year chance deal). Can you be mobile? Kentucky has a lot of job openings for teachers and I don't think that we have that rule. Everything in your post sounds like the worst case scenario is just around the corner. Are you sure everything will be that bad? Believing that the worst is sure to come will stress you out even more. Is there anywhere that you can get some class management training? With your school, or on the internet? Good luck to you and we can be your ear if you need it. Maybe you could post on the teen board here and ask them for tips on what it takes for them to get interested?

Last edited by thegardener; 09-12-2006 at 05:17 PM.

 
Old 09-12-2006, 05:11 PM   #9
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Re: My students are killing me!!

Hamu, I really think your heart is in the right place Don't give up the fight. You're teaching because this is what you wanted to do. The school year just started and you have plenty of time to straighten things out. Start tomorrow. Just take a deep breath and walk in your classroom tall and proud--let the children know you are in charge. That's your first step. How many children do you teach at a time? Can you get an aid? My daughter is a freshman and she helps out one period a day in another classroom. She now, instead of becoming a lawyer, wants to be a teacher. Bless both of you!!

My daughter did have a new english teacher last year, first year teacher like you, 23yrs old, room out of control. My daughter's grades weren't so great in that class. I was slightly frustrated, but---all of us parents agreed on one thing--give the poor teacher a break!! She's young, no experiance, and scared to death. This year, my daughter is getting along well with her and things seem to be going great for everone. Funny thing though, this teacher got married over the summer and is spending most of the school year pregnant. Ouch. So you see, you are not alone. See about seeking out a little more advice from some more fellow teachers, surely they have been through this also.

Let us know how you are doing and if you need to talk we are here for you.

 
Old 09-12-2006, 05:11 PM   #10
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Re: My students are killing me!!

My cousin wanted to be math teacher but she can't handle the class. I don't know all the details but I am sure it lasted less than a year before she didn't have good refrences or approved I don't know the details. Anyway she found a job as a computer programmer and that is something she can do.
I don't believe that taking class or reading some material from the internet can change one. I was told that I need to learn to stand up for myself, reading appropriate litreture doesn't do much, may be tiny bit. Hate to be negative here but I suspect that best for you is looking for another career and than more you tolerate your cituation than sicker you will be after.

 
Old 09-12-2006, 05:24 PM   #11
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Re: My students are killing me!!

Galinaqt, basically what you are saying is that reading about anything is worthless, this really means that education is worthless. You don't really mean that do you? The advice that you are giving to Hamucham is basically "give up". She said that she loves children and she should still try. You aren't that hopeless are you?

 
Old 09-12-2006, 05:36 PM   #12
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Re: My students are killing me!!

AAhhh!! Hamu, please don't give up. The children need you I agree with thegardener--stay positive. OK? What kind of hobbies do you like to do? You may need to find something to help relieve your stress for a bit. Can't have you getting sick. (((HUGS)))

 
Old 09-12-2006, 06:53 PM   #13
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Re: My students are killing me!!

Sometimes giving up is the smartest thing to do, sometimes you can push yourself and achieve things. Biggest things is to know the difference. I don't say that education is useless by all means but somethings you can't learn you either born with it either not.
Stay in that kind of cituation in my mind is now different than leave with abusive partner and hope that crying on somebody's shoulder will help you, removing yourself from that cituation is the only thing which could help.
My parents were pushing me to stay at the job where supervisor intentionally gave me wrong info for 4.5 y in addition to everything else. There were talks about no giving up and fighting and learning first than leaving and detaching after work. Anyway I ended up sick for life 'cause of a job which gave me zip. I have work were I need to take classes, work overtime but "super" touch wood satisfied with my performance. That is something not worse to give up and worse to work hard.
Person likes kids but she can't maintain discipline, I don't believe she can learn it, person or have it or doesn't have it. I am not critisizing her by all means I am very sympathetic but fact is the fact.

 
Old 09-12-2006, 08:06 PM   #14
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Re: My students are killing me!!

Galinaqt, maybe some people can never learn something but I don't think that includes everyone. This is her first year! I came from a family that was what you could call dysfunctional and no one went to college. There were some in our extended family, and some outside of our extended family, who did not think that anyone in our family would ever amount to anything. I was the youngest and no one saw that fire in my eyes. I had to work hard socially, psychologically, and educationally, because I was behind in all of these areas. But guess what, I made it. I worked out all of the crazies in my head. I learned all of the things that I was deficient in socially. I have a degree from the University of MI, and I have a Master's degree. My husband came from a third world country where he was politically repressed and his family was poor. Guess what, he is a professor who is well known in his field. This is America and the only things that hold people back are themselves! I have a 5 year old daughter who has been really sick from birth. It's not common and I had to go from doctor to doctor and search constantly on the internet to get her healthy again. I had to fight (not believe the doctors when they said there was nothing to do) and I had to work. This is what makes life delicious!

Last edited by thegardener; 09-12-2006 at 08:20 PM.

 
Old 09-13-2006, 07:05 AM   #15
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Re: My students are killing me!!

I think we are talking about different things. Imagine yourself being very bad in math at school, will you be able to finish college with a math major even if you try very hard. We all born with certain talents, some things we can improve by hard work but some we just can't. Ability to maintain discipline and manage kids is something some people have and some don't.
I don't believe that she can jirasticly improve by reading books and taking seminars, although it can be helpful if she has her own kids one day.
She either loose this job, either all her life will be living hell with kids working all over her.

 
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