hey guys. this seems to be the rant forum so i might as well put in my 2 cents. my gf of 2 yrs is driving me insane. a little over 3 months ago, we broke up and after month, we decided to give it another shot. apparently i had broken her trust and the whole nine yards. anyways, she will not stop bugging me about the people i talk to, who i'm with...etc. i'm being watched over with a microscope and it's driving me insane. i figured, i could deal with it seeing that i did break her trust and i that i would have to regain it but this is getting ridiculous. i'm almost 25y/o, i work in a very stressful environment and i just feel like it's getting to be way to excessive. sometimes, i just dont even want to talk to her because we always seem to bicker about something dumb and petty. i've gained some weight after the 1st time we broke up and i haven't been to the gym since then. i need some help bad.
I don't know how I could help you out. I can tell you that my relationship started out with the not trusting and constant watching over me. It was always who are you talking to, why did you talk to them so long etc. Any way my situation was alot like yours. What I can say is you need to talk to her, tell her how you feel. Let her know that you feel isolated (if you do).
I have asked almost everyone for advice and they tell me to talk it out. Its not easy believe me but its the best advice I have got. A relationship isn't supposed to be fighting and arguing. Life is too short and you are very young to suffer through this. Maybe your girlfriend is self conscious about herself. I don't know exactly how you lost her trust. But if it was by cheating it does affect her a great deal. As a woman myself I asked,
Why did he do it? Am I not pretty enough, gained too much weight, what did I do wrong? What does the other person have that I don't. Bring her flowers or surprise her. Let her know how much you love her. I hope it helps.
As for the weight are you not going to punish her? Keeping fit is in your advantage. But some people don't go to punish the other person I have seen that.
Last edited by Katrina Marie; 11-26-2006 at 08:45 PM.
hey katrina. to answer your question, no i did not cheat on her. i have been faithful to her this whole time. i lied about something that i shouldn't have to avoid conflict and alot of things escalated from there. ever since that happened, the relationship has been tainted. and to answer your other question, yes i do feel isolated. i feel like i cannot hang out with my friends bc it'll upset her and make her feel suspicious. her insecurities are ******* me off. she's a gorgeous girl but she's not very confident at all. i don't know how much longer i cant bare this. i'm such an optimistic and cheerful person. i feel like she's bringing me down. whenever she's not pestering me with questions, everything is great and i enjoy every second i spend with her bc i know it's not going to last long. however, when inquisition time comes around, i just wanna drive my car off the cliff. seriously.
i lied about something that i shouldn't have to avoid conflict and alot of things escalated from there. i feel like i cannot hang out with my friends bc it'll upset her and make her feel suspicious.
Sagobro, you must have learned somewhere along the way not to stand up for your needs. Now is an excellent time to start doing this. Sounds like you avoid conflict like the plague. You must learn to communicate. If you learn to do it for this situation you will probably (hopefully) realize that you need to do it for the rest of your life. Bring up the subject calmly when you all have time to talk about it and say "when you interrogate me I feel......" Saying "when you do this, I feel ..." helps to keep the other person from becoming defensive. If she gets upset, just stay calm and tell her what you need. This stuff really gets easier with practice, but you know, I think that everyone gets a little nervous with "confrontation". I still do when I need to discuss something important with someone but I make myself do it.
How are things going between you and your gf? Have you tried talking to her lately as to how she's making you feel. Theres no reason to feel like that. Lifes too short. And, I personally hate the feeling of not wanting to come home knowing that the 3rd degree will begin, before the "Hi Honey, How was your day". No one deserves to live like that. And if it continues maybe you two need a short break apart from each other to get your feelings together.
Check and see if that stress is something you want to live with the rest of your life. Keep me updated.. Good Luck and Keep Up Your Spirits!
Last edited by Katrina Marie; 11-28-2006 at 12:51 PM.
hey katrina..things are not letting up. i cannot win with her. it's a never ending war with her. i lover her but love is not always enough. the relationship is tainted and frankly, my feelings for her are changing. i'm young, i live in the hip part of town and my career is finally moving. it's time to live it up and party like a rockstar again. life is too short and im starting to realize that i still have a long ways before i say my I DO's.
I don't like to push anyone into leaving but from what you have posted you have tried. If you feel that you have tried everything honestly and its not working then it is time to move on. Better before it gets too nasty to not stay friends. Maybe its better that way. Since you are in a career advancement you need to focus and you need your 100% to succeed in your career.
I really feel for you and I know by experience thats its better to get out before too much time goes by and its gets too complex a situation. (better yet before you start resenting her). A clean sweep as you can say. I know that you will always love her but as you said Love is not enough. And I know that is a fact. You need to feel secure and content. Not stressed out and always worrying what am I going to do to make her go off now. Have fun and don't worry about the maybe's!!!!
You have a long time to go and experience life before its too late..
I wish you all the luck in the world. And I know you make it. You seem like a very strong person to me.