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Old 06-01-2007, 08:46 PM   #1
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Stress over being happy?????

Does anyone else out there get stressed out over being happy or having something happen to you that you have been working towards and finally get it? I have wanted to stay home with my kids since my youngest was born, and today was my last day of work for at least the summer... I am finally going to get to stay home with my kids, be a real wife and mom (I have been under so much stress and not felt good for so long that I feel like I have really not been able to give anything to my family). I am going to go back to work in the fall, hopefully at my kids school but I am sitting here totally stressed out because I am doing this...Maybe I don't feel like I deserve this, but why am I doing this to myself?????
I was hoping that this would help get rid of the stress in my life and now I sit here adding stress, what is wrong with me??????
Thanks for listening,
Crazy

 
Old 06-05-2007, 12:24 PM   #2
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Smile Re: Stress over being happy?????

I too get stressed and although i tell myself not too it isnt that simple, what you have to tell yourself is its fine, you have a job change so you can now be at home with your family and in the fall you will be working again but obviously only term time, so make the most of it you will be home when the kids are and earning while they are in school, perfect.
Try taking a day at a time, catch up on house work, visiting relatives, hobbies, cooking, have some family time and some your time, good luck and enjoy............

 
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Old 06-06-2007, 11:09 AM   #3
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Re: Stress over being happy?????

Well, from what you have described, you have been stressed up to this point so I’m guessing that you need a little wind down time. You may need a few days of not overwhelming yourself with all your new “to do” lists, and taking things a little more slowly. If you are like me, the minute you have a couple extra hours, you’re thinking “okay, I should do this, this and this”. Also, now that you’ve reached this point, it may feel anticlimactic, but you feel (logically) you should feel euphoric. You just might be still working on overload. This is a major change for you and it will take some time to adapt.


You’ll likely have catch yourself and remind yourself not to be stressed and relax. Hope something I said helps.

 
Old 06-10-2007, 06:37 PM   #4
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Re: Stress over being happy?????

I experience this kind of stress.

But the reason I think I experience it is because I have high expectations towards something I have been looking forward to, and I don't want to be disappointed, so I get stressed trying to enjoy it, and trying to control it so that nothing happens that messes up the experience for me. Unfortunately it is self-sabotaging behaviour. Because I am so stressed about something going wrong and stressed that I will not enjoy it like I had hoped, I end up not enjoying it as much as if I had just relaxed and let things happen the way they would happen, and just enjoyed and accepted things the way they are.

I think I have problems just accepting things the way they are and enjoying the here and now, and are instead constantly thinking about "what's going to happen next", and stressing myself out about something that hasn't even happened yet.

I have tried some cognitive behavioural therapy with a psychologist and think this has helped. Everytime you feel yourself getting stressed and hear yourself telling yourself negative automatic thoughts (the ones that go around and around in your head and keep you worried), you stop yourself and force yourself to tell yourself more realistic and positive thoughts.

Hope this helps in some way.

 
Old 06-10-2007, 10:34 PM   #5
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Re: Stress over being happy?????

Thanks so much to you all!!! ShellShell I think you are righ about expecting so much and looking forward to so much and being worried that it won't be what you expected, or in my case, worried that I am not going to be good or enjoy staying home. Also, we have had 4 deaths of close people, including my Dad with in the last month and a half.....so I am a little weirded out.
I am trying to really relax and just enjoy myself day by day and hope that I don't have to start taking something. My doctor suggested wellbutin, but I am afraid of meds so I wanted to try and do this on my own...
Anyway, thank you all so much! You have been great and so encouraging!
Blessings
Crazy

 
Old 06-11-2007, 02:51 AM   #6
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Re: Stress over being happy?????

Hey CrazyLife,

So sorry to hear about everything you have been experiencing lately - especially your Dad's death.

I wanted to say that I used to be very against the use of medication like anti-depressants, and have resisted using them for a long time - I too, wanted to learn to cope with things by myself. But recently I have started on Zoloft (anti-depressant, anti-anxiety med - after practically being told I really had no other option). It is amazing the effect that that has had on me. I feel like I am able to function like a normal person again. I am now in a position where I can deal with underlying issues with a psychologist because I can actually think!

So in my experience, meds have been effective in getting me to a stage where I can properly deal with underlying issues, and feel like I can function like a normal person in society (something that I have not felt in a LOOONG time).

All the best with things - hope things work themselves out for you!

 
Old 06-11-2007, 11:06 PM   #7
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Re: Stress over being happy?????

Thanks so much Shells...

I was considering finding a good counselor and trying some therapy??? Do you think that it helped you. I am glad the Zoloft is working for you, my doctor gave me 3 months to try and "fix" things but after that she said that I would really have to try something....
So I have a lot of work to do in a short period of time...I may write a book...this is going to be some kind of journey!!!

Thanks again! Best of luck to you on your journey,I am so glad that you are doing better
Blessings to you!
Crazy

 
Old 06-12-2007, 06:13 AM   #8
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Re: Stress over being happy?????

Quote:
Originally Posted by shellshell82 View Post
Hey CrazyLife,

So sorry to hear about everything you have been experiencing lately - especially your Dad's death.

I wanted to say that I used to be very against the use of medication like anti-depressants, and have resisted using them for a long time - I too, wanted to learn to cope with things by myself. But recently I have started on Zoloft (anti-depressant, anti-anxiety med - after practically being told I really had no other option). It is amazing the effect that that has had on me. I feel like I am able to function like a normal person again. I am now in a position where I can deal with underlying issues with a psychologist because I can actually think!

So in my experience, meds have been effective in getting me to a stage where I can properly deal with underlying issues, and feel like I can function like a normal person in society (something that I have not felt in a LOOONG time).

All the best with things - hope things work themselves out for you!
I definately know about stress, and about feelings of depression. Have you had many bad side effects from Zoloft? I heard it can cause weight gain and a loss of libido.
thanks.
and keep the courage everyone. Cause' stress sucks.

 
Old 06-12-2007, 03:53 PM   #9
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Re: Stress over being happy?????

Hi CrazyLife,

Therapy with a clinical psychologist has helped me, but it is a lot of HARD work! I think you have to be really motivated to change and have to be secure enough to face a lot of hard issues about yourself. I think this is where taking meds can be really effective - it helps with how you manage situations, helps with relieving your mood so that you can start thinking about the issues instead of just letting the hurt and stress overwhelm you, and it helps with getting you through the worst parts of the therapy - because like I said it is hard and brings up a lot of hard issues that cause a lot of pain and stress.

But I do highly recommend it! It has helped. (But don't expect it to be easy - it is anything but!)

I think journalling is another very effective tool. Just getting those thoughts out - any way you can - and trying to deal with them, even by yourself, is better than keeping them bottled up inside. So writing a book could be a great way of getting stuff out!

Smallvllgrl - I haven't had any bad side effects from Zoloft. I had some sleeping problems to begin with, but they seemed to have gone away - I just had them for the first few weeks (maybe 3 weeks - can't remember - but it didn't last long).

It is worth remembering that depression and stress adversly affect your body, as can all medications. Your depression and stress may be affecting your libido or causing you to put on weight... in which case, being on medication could be a good option. It really depends on your individual situation and only your doctor who knows your history and symptoms can help you work out if it is a good idea to go on meds.

For me, my depression, anxiety and stress was negatively affecting my body in physical terms. In the end, a specialist who sees me for physical problems insisted that I take Zoloft because of the affects of these things on the physical part of my body he was trying to treat. He ended up saying I would never get better (on the physical side) if I didn't treat my depression, anxiety and stress.

I have written a lot... hope this ramble helps a bit!

 
Old 06-13-2007, 06:43 AM   #10
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Re: Stress over being happy?????

thanks - it helps more than you know have a great day girls

 
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