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Old 06-22-2007, 04:59 PM   #1
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Join Date: Sep 2005
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B3achbabi HB User
Unhappy stressed.confused.depressed.you name it =[

well here it goes.

me and my boyfriend have been dating about a year now. we live about 40mins apart and since im still a student it is much harder to see him. Well lately since its summer and we both have jobs, i feel extremely distant to him, and i really want his attention but nothing i do seems to work. At average i see him once a week or so due to the distance and it just hurts me i feel like that since im not with him all the time that like me, he should want to spend the time he can with me. I asked him today if he was planning to come visit me tomorrow, and he says hes busy, i understand if he has plans and i know i have a tendency to get jealous. But this is getting extremely hard for me. I find myself becoming depressed and angry all the time, over the simplest things. I thought that after dating him a year i should know how to talk to him, but it seems we misunderstand each other at times. I just hate telling him how i feel cause somehow it always ends up he gets angry, we fight, and then the subject is dropped after things calm down, i hate this, i feel like none of our problems are ever accomplished.



someone please help, im trying hard not to act too quickly but part of me is screaming " i need a break" but im afraid if i do that i will lose him completely. =[

 
Old 07-06-2007, 05:47 AM   #2
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Claire13 HB User
Re: stressed.confused.depressed.you name it =[

Hi there,

I know exactly how you feel. I know its hard but if you want it to work you are going to have to be patient. If you talk to him about it, in a nice way without letting your anger and jealousy get in the way then he should be willing to talk. He has to do his part too however and try to understand how you feel.

I have a boyfriend who I live with for half the year and then in the summer and christmas he goes back home (4 hours away) and the distance can do crazy things to a girl. You find your self being needy, moany, so angry you just wanna scream at someone, any time your boyfriend goes out with his mates you get jealous because you cant etc etc At the moment my boyfriend is on the other side of the world for 3 month spending his summer in Australia. That is difficult.

It is working however because I talk to him about how I am feeling, and I try REALLY hard to not let the rage take over and the insecurities. He is patient and understanding when I do loose the plot however.

As for taking a break, i know it seems easyier to get rid of them rather than put up with the heartache but as you are unsure about doing so then it would probably be something you would regret. Unfortunatley there are no quick fixes for this kinda thing.

I hope you are able to work it out and realise that you are not alone. (you could also try talking to them via skype, with the web cam and the voice, it makes it feel like they arent so far away)


 
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Old 07-11-2007, 07:05 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Singapore
Posts: 6
charlesyclim HB User
Re: stressed.confused.depressed.you name it =[

Quit thinking of all your problems and how to solve it. Life is like that; the more you want, the further is distant you.

Instead spend your energy building up a purposeful life; have a life purpose for your being in this world and work towards it. Then everything will fall into place by itself.

If you are interested to know how to build up a purposeful life, let me know, I have been spending the last 20 years to understand how to do that, and then 1 day I realize it is just right in front of me, and it is nothing religious.

Recently I heard the audio CD of "The Power Of Now" which advocate nicely what I have come to understand about ourself. It explain clearly how to solve the root of all relationship problems. So you can also check that out.

 
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