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Old 03-18-2009, 06:16 AM   #1
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puffy1 HB User
Step Children

I have a step son, he lives 5 hours from us, so every 9 days we leave to go see him for 3 days. I don't enjoy driving down there, I stay at a hotel, while my husband visits with his son. I have no energy left to entertain children. I'm 41, I have 2 grown up children, I spent my youth working and loving those kids. Didn't have the money to do much else. So, I feel that it is time for me now to pursue my interests, dreams and whims. I'm so frusturated!
We have one vehicle so if he goes to visit for 3 days, I'm here at home without transportation....I just need a chance to do what I need to do...however, I always end up accomodating everyone else....any advice?

 
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Old 04-05-2009, 12:16 PM   #2
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reg12 HB User
Re: Step Children

Hi puffy,
Sometimes we have to be selfish and think of ourselves first. This is not wrong, but is actually healthy. Your husband is being a good father, but he also needs to be an understandings husband and help with your needs. Talk to him about your concerns. You need to dream and check out your interests. If you lower your stress level, then it will help the both of you. Look around where you live for things that interest you. You might find groups or activities with someone with similar interests that you could share a ride with.

 
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Old 04-05-2009, 12:54 PM   #3
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dolejaly HB User
Re: Step Children

What is the reason why BOTH mom and Dad can not split the ride difference and the child come to your home? That way he gets to see his kid and you have a car if you chose to go and do something during that time.....

 
Old 04-06-2009, 08:51 AM   #4
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puffy1 HB User
Re: Step Children

Quote:
Originally Posted by reg12 View Post
Hi puffy,
Sometimes we have to be selfish and think of ourselves first. This is not wrong, but is actually healthy. Your husband is being a good father, but he also needs to be an understandings husband and help with your needs. Talk to him about your concerns. You need to dream and check out your interests. If you lower your stress level, then it will help the both of you. Look around where you live for things that interest you. You might find groups or activities with someone with similar interests that you could share a ride with.
I appreciate your response, it really helped, thanks...HJB

 
Old 04-06-2009, 08:53 AM   #5
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puffy1 HB User
Re: Step Children

Well, the cooperation isn't there, it would be terrific if it was......great point! Thanks...HJB

 
Old 04-06-2009, 09:17 AM   #6
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Re: Step Children

Quote:
Originally Posted by puffy1 View Post
Well, the cooperation isn't there, it would be terrific if it was......great point! Thanks...HJB

What if you made the suggestion, would he at least consider talking to his EX about splitting the travel difference and the child spending his time at dad's house? Of course we see it all the time w/ Friend of the Court making that mandatory unless it is an out of state thing.

Also, did she move out of the 100 mile radius of the father or did he relocate?....I know when I moved almost 3 hrs from the kids dad, the only way it was granted if the father agreed past the 100 mile radius, and that was not even in our divorce agreement, but the policy changed and it could be pushed if the courts seen fit and we could split the travel how we seen fit, half and half or one drive the full drive one way and the other do it as well, whether it be the pick up or drop off. Maybe a suggestion.....I am not for sure of your situation but I know it worked for others....When parents can't agree, the courts do it for ya......How old is the child? Well hopefully some thing works out for ya....Good luck....

 
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